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Weekend Roundup

Had a very nice long weekend -- big BBQ and watching the fireworks on Friday, some bodyboarding and bodysurfing on Sunday. Very relaxing. Now back to work. :(

Ben Hammersley notes 'the All Time Perfect Daily Mail Story': Asylum Seekers Eat Queen's Swans:

A major investigation has been launched by Scotland Yard into claims that the Queen's swans are being stolen in their hundreds by gangs of asylum-seekers who are cooking and eating them.

The probe comes after a group of men were caught red-handed by police in an east London park. The asylum seekers were barbecuing a duck and officers found two dead swans, ready to be roasted, concealed in bags.

A police spokesman said today: We are appealing for information over the disappearance of swans. There have been incidents of swans being killed, and it appears to be the work of eastern European gangs.

It's a classic of the genre -- combining (a) the queen, (b) cute animals (c) fear of immigrants. That covers all the bases except one. Oh, here it is, bingo! -- it's not entirely true:

Yesterday Scotland Yard stated: 'There is no police report.' While there is concern fuelled by a drop in the swan population, the police spokeswoman added: 'There appears to be a perception that this may be attributable to Eastern Europeans. We stress we have no evidence of this.'

A police spokeswoman ... added that, despite some efforts, they could not back up published claims that asylum-seekers had been caught in east London barbecuing a duck with dead swans concealed near by 'ready to be roasted'. Andy Fisher, head of the wildlife investigation unit, appeared equally baffled. 'I don't know where they have got that from - not the Metropolitan Police.'

It's clearly silly season time again.

Quick Iraq roundup: some photos from Baghdad from Gee, another Iraqi blogger (Gee not in the irish slang sense BTW!); MI6 chief was the BBC's source for 'sexing-up' allegations (Observer).

Also, Guantanamo Bay's military tribunals are hitting the non-US news media again, now that the death penalty has been raised as a possibility. These Observer and Guardian stories note, regarding the two British citizens who've been imprisoned for 18 months (one for 12 months in Bagram airbase): 'If this treatment happened for an hour in a British police station, no evidence gathered would be admissible'.

Next, A left-wing US soldier blogs from Baghdad.

the iraqi's who are working for the u.s....doing what ever task we throw at them...are not to upset with us...some of them have family members in the states and they hope that someday they will be able to join them...they don't hate america at all...and they are conscious enough of what is really going on to make their own decisions...they think that we really are trying to help...they are afraid of the 'militants' because when ever the 'militants' show up and attack us in their neighborhoods we end up destroying everything...many of the guys say that they chase the 'militants' out with any weapons they have...they are just trying to get by...they fear that the 'militants' are using horrible tactics to enlist more support...they are using our retaliation against us...for every home...or car...or newsstand...or coffee shop we destroy trying to protect ourselves another 'freedom fighter' is born...

He talks about Chomsky, links to Michael Moore -- so of course, the neo-con warbloggers reckon he doesn't exist. ;)

Totally down with the new pronunciation of RSS BTW. Waiting for the dust to settle. ho hum.

Finally, Fergus Cassidy, Sunday Tribune tech journo, has a website. Good reading...

Over-honest Slogans

my mate Luke passes on this gem:

I was driving along behind a plumber's van today. The van was emblazoned with signs saying that the plumber was a sewers and drains expert. Along the rear bumper of the van was the company's slogan:

'Your shit is our bread and butter'

I am not making this up.

Senderbase and Alexa

SenderBase is a cool site which lists email traffic volumes for specific senders and organisations.

This will make for some very cool spam tests. As you can see, several of the top ten sending domains are ISPs that, shall we say, may have a few 'issues' with customers' open proxies. They're scattered in amongst the Yahoo!s and Hotmails ;) Then there's a couple of well-known domains that, let's say, have a habit of appearing on the SBL.

Well, not quite as practical, but useful nonetheless, is Alexa's 'traffic detail' feature for the web.

Very nifty; a log-scale graph of traffic as measured by pageviews from Alexa's toolbar, and you can pick 2 sites and compare their hitrates. For example, according to this, SpamAssassin is bigger than Jesus ;)

Thanks to 'Mr. FoRK' on the FoRK list for this URL...

Patents: the SSLeay workaround

during this ongoing European software patents thing, I was reminded of a comment I heard a while back from a pro-patent guy.

He was around in the bad old days of SSLeay's patent woes. SSLeay, like many cryptographic products in the 80's and 90's before the RSA and other patents expired, was in a legal grey area due to patent issues. To quote the 'Is This Legal?' section of their FAQ:

That is one of the hard questions on which there is as yet no clear answer. You need to read quite a bit of information to draw your own conclusions - and then go and talk to a lawyer. Again this document is my opinion and as such should be treated in that light - reality could be quite different to how I happen to see things :-).

In short:

  • outside the USA there should be no problems
  • inside the USA RSA hold patents over the RSA algorithms, however if you use RSAREF (which SSLeay can link to) then non-commercial use is probably okay. For commercial purposes you need to talk to RSA to license one of their toolkits (BSAFE) or come to some other licensing arrangement with them.
  • IDEA may be a problem inside Europe and RC4 inside the USA; both can be removed with a simple compile-time option or you can licence the IDEA algorithm.

Eventually, RSA relicensed their algorithms to be freely usable. Thankfully IDEA could be avoided by using alternative algorithms in the SSL transaction, so it wasn't a biggie; most SSL users just switched it off. Finally, the RSA patent finally expired -- so nowadays SSL is commonplace, and using SSL to protect security is a lot easier than it used to be.

Anyway, I'm diverging here... the relevance is this mail from Hartmut Pilch discussing the current euro-swpat proposal. He reckons even the SSLeay defense -- saying 'do not download this software in these countries unless you get these licenses' -- would not work with the current proposal:

To make this clearer: according to the CEC proposal, you still risk being sued even if you only publish a program and warn people 'please do not execute unless you have obtained a license from XXX'.

SARS — back in the fall?

SARS special report: Too soon to celebrate (New Scientist).

There are also suspicions that the first outbreak in the southern Chinese province of Guangdong stopped so abruptly because of the onset of summer. The SARS virus does not survive well in a hot environment, and if most transmission is due to people touching contaminated surfaces, higher temperatures would have reduced transmission.

If the season, rather than human intervention, was the main reason for the end of the outbreak, SARS could return with a vengeance in the autumn. That is what happened with the 1918 influenza pandemic, which killed tens of millions. Fortunately, SARS is far less infectious (so far).

Debra Bowen: ‘MS killed useful CA spam law’

'Let There Be Spam!':

COMMITTEE TAKES CUE FROM MICROSOFT, KILLS NATION'S TOUGHEST ANTI-SPAM PROPOSAL

SACRAMENTO - Urged on by Microsoft, the Assembly Business & Professions Committee today unceremoniously killed SB 12 (Bowen), a measure to create the country's toughest anti-spam law by requiring advertisers to get permission from computer users before sending them unsolicited ads ...

'Does anyone other than the eight members of this committee who either voted 'no' or took a walk on the bill really believe Microsoft has any interest in getting rid of spam?,' wondered California State Senator Debra Bowen (D-Redondo Beach), the author of SB 12, following the bill's defeat. 'Trusting Microsoft to protect computer users from spam is like putting telemarketers in charge of the do-not-call list. Microsoft uses a megaphone to tell everyone how much it hates spam at the same time it's working overtime to kill truly tough anti-spam laws. Why? Microsoft doesn't want to ban spam, it wants to decide what's 'legitimate' or 'acceptable' unsolicited commercial advertising so it can turn around and license those e-mail messages and charge those advertisers a fee to wheel their spam into your e-mail inbox without your permission.'

wow ;) She's not pulling any punches there...

A ‘pay-to-email’ patent

The concept of a 'pay-to-mail' scheme -- charge people to send you mail -- is patented, it seems. Good, I never liked it anyway ;)

A method and apparatus for determining whether a party sending an email communication is on a list of parties authorized by the intended receiving party. If the sending party is not on the list of authorized parties, an electronic billing agreement is emailed to the sending party indicating a fee that will be charged to the sending party in return for the message being provided to the intended receiving party. Preferably, the present invention is implemented with Internet communications and utilizes a security protocol to enable the electronic transaction to be transacted in a secure manner.

Date: Tue, 01 Jul 2003 15:00:09 -0400
From: "Bob Wyman" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
cc: "'Yakov Shafranovich"' (spam-protected)
Subject: RE: US Spam patents: Partial list

A new, spam-related, US Patent was issued today. It is a continuation in part of US Patent 6,192,114 which is on the first list of patents I posted to this group.

See: http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?patentnumber=6587550

US Patent 6,587,550 METHOD AND APPARATUS FOR ENABLING A FEE TO BE CHARGED TO A PARTY INITIATING AN ELECTRONIC MAIL COMMUNICATION WHEN THE PARTY IS NOT ON AN AUTHORIZATION LIST ASSOCIATED WITH THE PARTY TO WHOM THE COMMUNICATION IS DIRECTED

Abstract A method and apparatus for determining whether a party sending an email communication is on a list of parties authorized by the intended receiving party. If the sending party is not on the list of authorized parties, an electronic billing agreement is emailed to the sending party indicating a fee that will be charged to the sending party in return for the message being provided to the intended receiving party. Preferably, the present invention is implemented with Internet communications and utilizes a security protocol to enable the electronic transaction to be transacted in a secure manner.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inventors: Council; Michael O. (186 Hurt Dr., Cordele, GA 31015);
Santos; Daniel J. (3525 Roswell Rd., #721, Atlanta, GA 30305) Appl. No.: 783340 Filed: February 14, 2001


Asrg mailing list (spam-protected) https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/asrg

When Good Games Go Bad

Wired: Hackers Put 'Bane' in Shadowbane:

'Then we realized that somehow an insane god had taken control of our world and was out to kill us all.'

The population of an entire Shadowbane town was forcibly moved to the bottom of the sea, where they drowned. City guards turned feral and attacked town residents. Mobs of never-before-seen superpowerful creatures, seemingly spontaneously spawned from the ether, began to prowl the streets unchecked, killing characters in the most painful way possible.

Audioscrobbler

Audioscrobbler is cool. Check it out -- this is its log of my xmms listening habits, neatly cross-linked and referenced. (The cheesy 'Liberty X' listens were Catherine, I swear.)

Anyway, AS is a bit like Napster's 'explore other person's music collection' feature, which was cool for picking up recommendations -- but this one is based on actual plays, and without the link to a service that the RIAA would want to see shut down ASAP. ;)

It can come out with some pretty bizarre results -- for example, 'people who listen to Thievery Corporation also listen to Radiohead', according to this. Mind you, that's probably correct...

Prediction: I'll wind up being top of the list for listening to Acen's tunes by the end of 2 weeks. That's the plan at least ;)

Spam filters and FTC’s ‘Do Not Call’ list

Wired News: Yahoo! Spam Filter Thwarts FTC:

Consumers who used Yahoo Mail e-mail accounts to register for the Federal Trade Commission's new do-not-call service were met with an ironic twist Friday -- Yahoo's spam filter intercepted confirmation messages sent from FTC servers.

'Our tests showed that Yahoo's spam filter was automatically sending the confirmation messages from the do-not-call list into users' bulk-mail folders,' said NetFrameworks co-founder and CTO Eric Greenberg. 'The irony of it is that the spam filter is blocking the very thing that's supposed to help you stop getting spam over the phone.'

FWIW, I signed up, without any hitches.

As noted elsewhere, their mail-sending systems were massively overloaded -- an insane quantity of people were also signing up at the same time, from what I've heard.

But a day later, the confirmation message eventually came through, and got run through my 'dogfood' SpamAssassin 2.60 installation. That gave it -5.2 points. Not bad, considering they didn't have reverse DNS records for the machines sending the mails out ;) (update: they do now, btw.)

In case you're wondering, the tests it hit were: BAYES_00,CLICK_BELOW,DATE_IN_PAST_12_24,NO_REAL_NAME. Pretty respectable, really. Aside: that message getting a BAYES_00 match is impressive, given that (a) that Bayes db was initialized entirely from auto-learned mails, no hand-training; and (b) I'd never received a mail from the Do Not Call registry operators before.

Tamales: this is cool -- San Francisco's boozy culture paid homage last night to 'The Tamale Lady':

Tonight, Zeitgeist will swell again for Ramos' 50th birthday party. There, San Francisco filmmaker Cecil B. Feeder will premiere his mini-documentary 'Our Lady of Tamale,' featuring 30-second songs submitted by dozens of San Francisco musicians.

Isn't that nice. Ben says it went well. Somehow or other we missed her tamales last time we were up, but I'll be sure to get one next time...

Closed Hardware, PDAs etc.

BoingBoing with a cautionary tale. When you buy a HipTop Sidekick from T-Mobile, you're not really buying it in the way you'd imagine -- instead, you get to hold it while they operate the software, as far as I can see. As of this week, T-Mobile are going to remotely erase the games that were included with the device, because they are 'no longer supporting' them. And tough luck to Sidekick owners.

As BB sez:

Who owns your Sidekick? T-Mobile does, apparently, even if you spent full retail on it (I dropped 250 dollars on mine). You need T-Mobile's permission to install software on their device. T-Mobile will, from time to time, decide to erase software from your device. And when you stop subscribing to their service, T-Mobile will delete all your data forever, without giving you any mechanism for moving it off the device (and without giving you the ability to design a tool that would let you do this).

I don't really get it -- I mean, this is the reason Palm platforms won in the handheld arena for so long; the user's control over what they can install, the developer's freedom to write new apps for the users to install, and the (comparatively) open aspects of their SDK and protocols so that it can be sync'd to by lots of desktop apps.

Competing with all the other PDAs, based on hardware or UI alone, isn't enough -- unless you're Apple with the iPod. Surely the Sidekick OS developers get this? (Maybe what happened is the OS developers get it -- but T-Mobile don't.)

Talking of the iPod -- Gary Robinson notes that Pixo, the vendor of the OS software used on Apple's iPods has just been bought -- by Sun. It seems Pixo nowadays sells server-side Java thingies, which seems wierd for a developer of OSes for handheld platforms -- until you read this article from January 2002, which reports that Apple and Pixo were at loggerheads anyway, due to contractual difficulties, and that Pixo had given up on embedded-OS work, due to a shortage of clients.

Anyway, I wonder if Apple got a licensing deal that gave them the source and allows them to update the Pixo OS themselves, if Sun decide to drop that product. (Given that Pixo themselves turned around and set the company in a totally oblique direction, I'd reckon it's likely.)

Spam: Rod says the National Do Not Call Registry has launched. Sign up here -- but wait a while first, it's massively overloaded right now...

Cocaine-laced Euros

German euros 'full of cocaine' (BBC):

Almost all euro banknotes circulating in Germany contain traces of cocaine, German researchers say. ... 'Nine out of 10 banknotes show clearly measurable amounts of cocaine,' Professor Fritz Soergel of the Institute for Biomedical and Pharmaceutical Research in Nuremberg was quoted as saying by Reuters news agency.

... The concentrations of cocaine on Spanish euro notes were almost a hundred times that of what was recorded in Germany; ... Professor Soergel said that his team was 'almost knocked flat' by results of yet another recent study in Barcelona.

Search Engine Optimisation

Tom Coates on search engine optimisation. Summary: they don't work; smart search engines realise you're trying to game them, and will ignore or penalise your site as a result. The correct answer is to provide interesting/good/linkworthy textual information, and keep superfluous eye candy at a sensible level. I agree with his essay, FWIW.

Personally, I reckon Google deserve a lot of credit for turning the web around, from a flashy, Flash-laden animated DHTML blinky-blink medium, back into one where text is king. Once it got recognized that Google used titles, h1 tags, and other semantic markup as key metadata, and that the gimmicky stuff is unindexable, the never-ending slide into flashy blinky-blink land was halted. Phew!

Aside: Labour MP Tom Watson has a weblog?! Wow. He'd get my vote straight away, no matter what his policies were -- that's transparency ;)

Interesting -- so does Liberal Democrats MP Richard Allen. This is really amazing. He even links to SpamAssassin as part of a discussion on the All-Party Internet Group's spam summit to be held on July 1st!

It's worth noting that his comment here notes that the APIG concept seems to be leaning towards prosecution of spamvertised products; advertise via spam (sent by you or by a 'spam outsourcing' company), and you're liable. A very sensible approach, as long as they can avoid the danger of malicious spammers spamvertising a product without that company's permission -- a la what happens regularly to SpamCop and SpamHaus.

Twenty Questions AI

Play 20 questions against an AI. Very cool; it got 'artichoke heart' and 'volcano' for me, the first within 30, the second within 20. It also whinged about a few questions I'd 'answered inconsistently' on the first one (well, they were stupid questions ;)

Log in as an anonymous user to try it out.

SoBig.E all over the place

Argh. Lots of 'your_details.zip' files flying around; it must be new Win32 virus day! Time to update the filters...

QuickThread

Marc Canter blogs about QuickThread, one of the new services at Steve Yost's QuickTopic.

It's a great concept. Want to take a thread offline, or share it as a dedicated forum of its own, without losing the concept flow? Just select all the context messages, forward as attachments by mail to the QT site, and it'll create a new thread with that context intact. Totally simple. (see the Pictures).

Science: In this interview with Matt Ridley at edge.org, Matt notes:

... There's another phenomenon going on too, which is equally important and which again people in these kinds of debates over human nature have missed. ... behavior affects genes. It doesn't change the code of the gene, and it doesn't change the encoded genome ... what I'm talking about is changing the expression of genes through things you do in your life.

(for example:) ... When you're under stress, the physiological result is that cortisol increases in your body and has a lot of effects. Cortisol is a transcription factor; it actually alters the expression of certain genes. It does so largely in the immune system, which results in the suppression of immune activity.

Wow. I never realised hormones could have that effect. Good article, as usual...

‘My Wife, Jody’

Incredible. The text 'My wife, Jody' has appeared, reliably, in spam for the last 5 years -- I just got one today. (I haven't actually seen one in my inbox for a while, though, since the chain letters that copy it generally get pretty high scores -- this one hit a respectable 48.2 SpamAssassin points, no less.)

Here's the text it appears in:

MORE TESTIMONIALS

'My name is Mitchell. My wife, Jody and I live in Chicago. I am an accountant with a major U.S.Corporation and I make pretty good money. When I received this program I grumbled to Jody about receiving 'junk mail'. I made fun of the whole thing, spouting my knowledge of the population and percentages involved. I 'knew' it wouldn't work. Jody totally ignored my supposed intelligence and few days later she jumped in with both feet. I made merciless fun of her, and was ready to lay the old 'I told you so' on her when the thing didn't work. Well, the laugh was on me! Within 3 weeks she had received 50 responses. Within the next 45 days she had received total $147,200.00 ........ all cash! I was shocked. I have joined Jody in her 'hobby'.'

Mitchell Wolf M.D., Chicago, Illinois

It's amazing that the chain letter is never changed, given that for the last few years they are all sent using spamware applications, so the senders must have some techie know-how.

I wonder if there's a real Mitchell Wolf M.D. in Chicago, and what he'd think of 5 years of faked testimonials using his name?

Some snippets

Maciej covers some ground I've been wondering about, comparing his experiences with the French state system and that here. Definitely worth reading, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's.

Oops! NZ channel 'TV3 has apologised after a graphic labelling US President George W. Bush a 'professional fascist' flashed up during its primetime news.'

Henry Farrell writes about homesickness, quoting Dante. It's such a great quote, I'm going to just reproduce it here:

These are of course silly things to get worked up about; but it's a universal experience for expatriates to miss the little things as much (if not more than) the greater ones. Dante, who was exiled from Florence, speaks of how

You shall leave everything you love most dearly:
this is the arrow that the bow of exile
shoots first. You are to know the bitter taste
of others' bread, how salt it is, and know
how hard a path it is for one who goes
descending and ascending others' stairs.

He's talking about two things here. First, as an exiled Florentine, he doesn't like salty bread. Florentines don't use salt when baking (the result, as far as I remember, of an extended period when the Pisans cut off their salt supplies), so that their bread tastes like blotting paper to non-natives (I lived in Florence three years: my advice to outsiders is to order pane Pugliese in the local bake shops when possible). Second, spiral staircases in Florence tend to curve around the opposite way from staircases elsewhere. Dante's main point is unassailable; as an exile, you feel longing for the small and unexceptional parts of daily life in your home country, and a quite extraordinary degree of comfort whenever you find them again. Which is why my fridge is now stocked up with Kerrygold.

NetFlix patents the DVD library

So NetFlix have patented their business method; that is, subscribing to video/DVD rentals -- where instead of being charged per disc, you are charged a monthly fee and can keep the rentals indefinitely without late fees. Patent here. Now, NetFlix is a very cool service, I've really been enjoying it. But this patent is a bit nasty.

Think about it: what's difficult about the NetFlix setup? Is it thinking up the concept for how the business works, as described in the patent?

Or is it executing the details, setting up efficient shipping infrastructure, tracking, billing, stock management etc., efficiently enough to make a profit?

Bad news for these companies, who are now infringing:

  • GameFly, which is the NetFlix model applied to games.
  • GreenCine, a more indie- and anime-oriented DVD site.

As one commenter on the /. story noted, 'imagine if McDonalds had patented the drive-thru'.

Hakim Bey

Interesting -- some thinking about the net, blogs, etc. on Biroco.com meanders into a mail from Hakim Bey:

(...) I'm utterly not responsible for the plethora of Netishness that coagulates around my work. Personally I never 'uploaded' a word. Others do it, mostly without my permission and w/out even bothering to inform me. Some of it isn't even mine - forgeries & often dis-info are rife. The Net is a pathology.

I not only don't own a computer - I've 'taken agin' 'em' & have become a cyber-curmudgeon. Basically I'm only interested in things that don't have websites. I refuse - or rather am incapable of - compensation for the demise of the physical world (you know what I mean) by losing myself in 'the terminal state of screenal involution' to quote a line that came in-somnia last nite.

Joel goes on to say:

Most who have read Hakim Bey seem to imagine that he regards the web as a TAZ (Temporary Autonomous Zone), but in fact he doesn't, since the physical component is missing, virtuality is not physical, at most all the web can be is an organisational mouthpiece for a TAZ but not a TAZ in itself. I agree with him, but myself, despite chucking my TV in the bin over a decade ago and Zen wanderings away from this medium, I got ensnared in the web nonetheless and do sometimes wonder whether it is indeed 'compensation for the demise of the physical world'. We'll see, at present I regard it as a curious assemblage project and a potential widening out of creativity.

‘The Goblin’

Observer: Russia's cult video pirate rescripts Lord of the Rings as gangster film. This sounds hilarious -- although I bet New World (iirc?) aren't so happy about it...

They call him the Goblin. He is the new toast of Russia's massive pirate video industry, his films sought all over Moscow. The trick of his silver screen success is that the Goblin redubs Hollywood movies, using his own 'better' Russian alternative to the script.

A former senior police investigator from St Petersburg, Dmitri Puchkov began by making fresh translations to replace the appalling subtitles on pirated films. But now his cult following has found pan-Russian appeal, with a ground-breaking rewrite of the first two parts of The Lord of the Rings.

In a move that has taken the Russian pirate disk world by storm and infuriated traditionalists and copyright lawyers, Puchkov has completely changed the script, turning the 'good' characters, like Frodo, into bumbling Russian cops, and the 'bad' Orcs into Russian gangsters.

The new, irreverent version of The Lord of the Rings is set in Russia. Frodo Baggins is renamed Frodo Sumkin (a derivative from the Russian word sumka, or bag). The Ranger, Aragorn, is called Agronom (Russian for farm worker). Legolas is renamed Logovaz, after a Russian car company famed for its Ladas. Boromir becomes Baralgin, after a Russian type of paracetemol.

Gandalf spends much of the film trying to impress others with his in-depth knowledge of Karl Marx, and Frodo is cursed with the filthy tongue of a Russian criminal.

2000 IT bosses say NO to EU software patents

FFII have issued a press release: '2000 IT bosses say NO to EU software patents, call for rejection of McCarthy software patent directive proposal':

A 'Petition for a Free Europe without Software Patents' has gained more than 150000 signatures. Among the supporters are more than 2000 company owners and chief executives and 25000 developpers and engineers from all sectors of the European information and telecommunication industries, as well as more than 2000 scientists and 180 lawyers. Companies like Siemens, IBM, Alcatel and Nokia lead the list of those whose researchers and developpers want to protect programming freedom and copyright property against what they see as a 'patent landgrab'.

Reminder: there's only 7 days left before the plenary on June 30th, so if you're European, write to your MEP backing FFII's position. Full text here.

NZ flatulence tax outrages farmers

BBC: NZ flatulence tax outrages farmers:

New Zealand's farmers have criticised a proposed tax on the flatulence emitted by their sheep and cattle. The move is part of the Wellington government's action to meet its commitments under the Kyoto Protocol on global warming.

Scientists estimate that methane emitted by farm animals is responsible for more than half of the country's greenhouse gases.

Flatulence from cows, sheep and other ruminants is a serious environmental problem, accounting for about 15% of worldwide emissions of methane - one of the most potent of greenhouse gases.

My Thoughts on ‘Greylisting’

'Greylisting', as described here, has received a lot of attention recently. However, I don't think it's a goer; here's why:

  • Firstly, as Alan Leghart pointed out on the SpamAssassin-talk list:

    This method proposes to delay EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE until a database match is found for sending IP, FROM, and TO. So...we punish everyone in the world, and hope that a delay of one or more hours is considered 'acceptable'?

    Read his message for a sample typical daily scenario which shows how bad this can be. Maybe some people already expect a mail to take several hours to reach a recipient. In that case, you need to fix your mail server. Even the 300Mhz SpamAssassin spamtrap server gets through mail faster than that, and it's seeing an absurd mail load ;)

  • Secondly, many VERPing mailing lists and newsletters will need manual whitelisting. Requiring manual intervention == work == what spam filtering is trying to reduce == bad.

  • Thirdly, it assumes spammers would never introduce retries into their spam-tools if it took off. Tempfailing, what this is based on, is effective right now because spamtools don't retry. But every proposed solution has to consider what would happen if every server admin in the world implements it, and spammers then want to subvert it.

    IMO, 'greylisting' would work fine until the spamtools start retrying, then we're back to square one -- except some legit mail takes a long time to get delivered, and the bandwidth wasted by spam has doubled due to all those retrying spams.

EU Patents — heavy on the spin

Sounds like the pro-swpat lobby has taken an interesting tack in their PR; IDG's Infoworld reports that:

The European Parliament is likely to support a law that permits software patents but limits their application to inventions that have a technical effect outside of just a computer program. A program could only be patented if it runs in conjunction with some sort of device such as an intelligent household appliance or a mobile phone.

But bizarrely, that's exactly what the proposal does not suggest, and that's exactly what the anti-swpat lobby want it to suggest! Totally, totally wierd.

Software patents update: plenary in 10 days time!

Despite heavy opposition from a coalition of European SMEs and the Greens/EFA faction of the European Parliament, and despite 2 committees suggesting large amendments, Arlene McCarthy's pushed the patent 'reform' through the JURI committee of the European Parliament. It is now going to be debated in an EP plenary in 10 days time. It seems likely there'll be a vote on adopting it then, too. We're being railroaded here. :(

If you are a European and bothered by software patents, now is the time to write to (or even email) MEPs asking them to oppose this directive; it's the 'proposed software patentability directive as amended by JURI' (COM(2002)92 2002/0047).

The letter should support the Eurolinux and/or Green position.

I've already received one reply, from Nuala Ahern, a Green MEP for Leinster, who's happy to take the Greens/EFA line (and responded very quickly, all credit to her!). But the question is, who else among the Irish MEPs is likely to vote on this issue -- and how do we effectively lobby in such a short time?

Some background links:

Anyway, if it passes it's not the end of the world, according to Karl Lenz; I'm not sure I agree with his conclusions though ;)

Leftie TV in the US, and the GIF patent

So I caught Frontline on PBS last night. At last, some leftie TV that isn't The Daily Show! ;)

It covered -- in excruciating detail -- something I'd been wondering about; the massive cost (to end users) of healthcare and prescription medication in the US. The program nicely demolished the 'but all that money is needed for R&D' line.

Bottom line: the US drug companies are making 18-22% profit, and they're not letting go of that. (The median for the Fortune 500 is 3.3%.)

That's pure profit -- not going back into R&D or similar. The breakdown of the biggest revenue sinks averaged across the sector, at the end of the program was: 22% profit, 18% advertising and marketing (one conglomerate in particular spent more on marketing than Pepsi), a couple more aspects of the process, and then, 4th or 5th on the list, 11% of that revenue makes it to research and development.

This should be a huge issue here, but isn't. I can't figure it out.

Patents: Kuro5hin has a nice wrap-up of the GIF patent story, now that the patent has finally expired (excerpt: 'Unisys does nothing'). But what's this? It's still extant in Europe, not expiring until a year from now? Great example of the EPO allowing software patents to be registered, even though they're not legal in Europe.

Mind you, it's irrelevant now, as (thankfully) Jean-Loup Gailly and Mark Adler wrote the gzip compression algorithm, and gave it to the GNU project. Since then, gzip has now spread into every tool and virtually every platform that might possibly need compression.

George Galloway Papers Were Forgeries

CSMonitor:

On April 25, 2003, this newspaper ran a story about documents obtained in Iraq that alleged Saddam Hussein's regime had paid a British member of Parliament, George Galloway, $10 million over 11 years to promote its interests in the West.

An extensive Monitor investigation has subsequently determined that the six papers detailed in the April 25 piece are, in fact, almost certainly forgeries.

The CSMonitor is usually a pretty good paper I hear, and their decision to print this retraction on their front page is a nice sign. But it's worth noting that it took 2 weeks -- not until the UK's Daily Mail retracted their story, citing that they had determined their documents were forged -- before the Monitor thought to check out the letters' credibility.

And check this out for gullibility:

Smucker recalls that it was the general who brought up George Galloway's name first at their initial meeting. After the reporter indicated an interest, the general said he knew where those documents were, and that he could have them for Smucker in 24 hours. Smucker says Rasool told him that one of his neighbors, who left Baghdad to attend a Shiite pilgrimage in Karbala, held the documents.

Upon Smucker's return the next day, the general showed him the Galloway documents as well as the boxes of others on various subjects. After hiring the neighbor, Smucker left with the boxes.

'I had no knowledge that the general received any of the 800 dollars, though now that I know the documents are forgeries, I have my suspicions,' says Smucker. 'At the time I was operating on the premise that these were entirely authentic.'

Suuuure!

The Windows Find Setup Wizard

Joel writes about a canonical Windows UI mistake: 'unequivocally the most moronic 'wizard' dialog in the history of the Windows operating system. This dialog is so stupid that it deserves some kind of award. A whole new category of award.' It is, of course, the Find Setup Wizard dialog:

The first problem with this dialog is that it's distracting. You are trying to find help in the help file. You do not, at that particular moment, give a hoot whether the database is small, big, customized, or chocolate-covered. In the meanwhile, this wicked, wicked dialog is giving you little pedantic lectures that it must create a list (or database). There are about three paragraphs there, most of which are completely confusing. There's the painfully awkward phrase 'your help file(s)'. You see, you may have one or more files. As if you cared at this point that there could be more than one. As if it made the slightest amount of difference. But the programmer who worked on that dialog was obviously distressed beyond belief at the possibility that there might be more than one help file(s) and it would be incorrect to say help file, now, wouldn't it?

It's a great article; there's also some fantastic examples of stupid UI tricks that shouldn't be possible, like detachable menu bars. Read it here.

Sitescooper and RSS

I did this a while ago, but I've been very busy in work and haven't had time to mention it. But it's worth doing some preliminary pointing at Sitescooper RSS.

Basically, I've added RSS output to Sitescooper, the venerable HTML-scraping script that can disassemble a news/blog/reading-material website efficiently, use a cache, log in, cope with redirects, figure out when stuff is new and when it's old, perform diffs, confuse you with copious regular expressions, etc. etc.

Sitescooper was originally oriented entirely towards display on a Palm; then new PDAs came out that could do good text or HTML display, so they're now supported too; and now, I'm no longer commuting and using an RSS aggregator instead for that kind of daily reading, so RSS is the natural next step.

Basically, what this means is that those annoying blogs that don't include the full text in the item block, or those websites you like that don't have an RSS feed -- make a site file, and scrape them into your aggregator yourself!

This code is present in the current Sitescooper CVS version; the only doco is really what's in that RSS directory on sitescooper.org.

If your interest is piqued, take a look...

Trademark craziness

rOD gets an email:

I found your web site, http://www.groovymother.com/archives/week_2002_10_20.html has a reference to a Clue-By-Four ™. Unfortunately, my company owns the trademark to that term, and I am in the process of bringing that product to market. My lawyers have told me that if you do not remove that reference, it dilutes my trademark.

I would much rather ask you politely to remove references to Clue-by-Four™ than have an ugly lawyerese letter sent via certified mail, etc.

WTF? Applied for in 1999, and it refers to a 'novelty toy, namely a foam rubber two-by-four shaped board'.

Win4Lin

A glowing review of Win4Lin 5.0 from 'Open for Business'.

Gotta say, I use Win4Lin regularly, and it's totally flawless. I had a bit of difficulty getting it installed -- the installer didn't like my kernel for some reason, if I recall correctly, and I had to go grepping through the install script (!). But it's fantastic once it's running.

The really impressive thing is when it boots Windows (in a window on your Linux desktop) much faster than Windows boots natively on the same hardware ;) Still haven't figured out how it does that.

It does a nice job of a virtual network interface too; easier to admin than VMWare's fake-net-with-DHCP thing. It just insmods a new network module, with a new ethernet address, and that responds to arp requests alongside your 'real' Linux interface's address. Then all the control of IP address, network etc. is under Windows control.

I haven't found an app that doesn't work with it yet. (Mind you I hear Direct/X isn't supported yet fully, so most games are probably out.)

I've even used it to watch Quicktime movies -- which is pretty impressive when you consider that they're displaying to a (Win4Lin) framebuffer, which is then displayed to another (VNC) framebuffer, which then displays to the hardware.

IrishWAN National Conference

IrishWAN are holding a national conference:

IrishWAN the networking group with the goal of building a community owned and run island wide area network infrastructure, will be having a national conference in Limerick on Saturday 28th of June 2003.

There will be IrishWAN members from all across the country, with presentations about wireless technology, updates of activities in many areas, and presentations from Irish wireless suppliers.

Full text here.

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2003 10:58:15 -0000
From: Robert Fitzsimons (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: IrishWAN National Conference

IrishWAN National Conference

IrishWAN the networking group with the goal of building a community owned and run island wide area network infrastructure, will be having a national conference in Limerick on Saturday 28th of June 2003.

There will be IrishWAN members from all across the country, with presentations about wireless technology, updates of activities in many areas, and presentations from Irish wireless suppliers.

The conference is open to anybody who has an interest in building or using the IrishWAN network, and is an ideal opportunity for existing and new members to get together to talk about wireless technologies. There will be a 5 Euro charge at the door to pay for the room.

The conference will start at 12:00 and should finish up at 17:30 on Saturday 28th of June, the location will be The Two Mile Inn, Ennis Road, Limerick.

More up-to-date details and the agenda are available at <URL:http://www.irishwan.org/board/showthread.php?threadid=996>.

Hope to see you all there.

Robert Fitzsimons DublinWAN Chairperson (spam-protected) http://wwww.irishwan.org/


ISOC Ireland members mailing list (spam-protected) http://ireland.isoc.org/mailman/listinfo/members

Unicode

Oops! Looks like 2-byte Unicode -- UCS-2, aka Unicode 1.0 -- will be running into trouble shortly; according to this and this on debian-i18n from back in 2000, several Asian charsets will shortly require 4-byte Unicode characters, which means using either UTF-8 or UCS-4. In particular, correct display of proper nouns in Japanese apparently requires use of the 4-byte planes.

Unicode 1.0 is used widely, in MS products and Java. Expect 'flag days' galore when this has to change.

Unicode 2.0 introduced a concept called a 'surrogate pair' to fix this; it's basically introducing multibyte characters into the supposedly fixed-width character-based UCS-2; so all those 'length == nchars' assumptions will break -- again. Argh.

Now I know why the Linux vendors are going for UTF-8 instead...

MSN’s Google-Killer

Maciej, Jeremy and Dave have all been blogging about this: Microsoft have unleashed MSNBOT, a new web crawler (judging by the robots.txt string, written in COBOL) which heralds their new search service which will topple Google.

My thoughts: dream on, guys.

What makes Google cool? Fast, accurate searches, and no ads. OK, MSN could do fast searching; that's doable, it's just a technical matter.

But what does the latter require? IMO, it takes very strong technical leadership, willing to resist any and every business unit that fancies dropping some cruddy ads on the front page; it's a cultural issue. This is especially tricky where ads (and money) are involved. Now go take a look at MSN.com. See what I mean? I rest my case.

Here comes the science bit – evaporate!

New Scientist reports that 'cosmetics manufacturers are keen to appear cutting edge, and often blind consumers with scientific jargon. But buzzwords like nanocapsules - currently one of their favourites - could be their undoing.'

Scare stories about nanotechnology turning the world to 'grey goo' have led Caroline Lucas, Green Party MEP for South East England, to call for new regulations - and one of the targets she has in her sights is the cosmetics industry. Her website claims that 'thousands of women are acting as unwitting 'guinea pigs' for the cosmetics industry...with many products containing ingredients manufactured by 'nanotechnology'.'

Famous facial products, such as L'Oreal Plenitude and Lancome's Flash Bronzer Self Tanning Face Gel, do indeed contain billions of nanoscopic capsules designed to help the skin absorb the cream's active ingredients. Though there's not a goo-making nanobot in sight, Lucas claims to be 'horrified to find nanotech products sitting innocently in my bathroom cabinet'.

We wonder what she expected them to do to her. Drain the colour from her face and make it go all mushy?

more on SCO v. IBM: ‘All your base are belong to us’

Ben forwards a link to this Byte article, SCO: All your base are belong to us. His commentary:

One day I'll have a blogtastic dalymount.com, but for the moment, have you seen this priceless interview, in which SCO goes over the edge into complete barking insanity?

'We believe that UNIX System V provided the basic building blocks for all subsequent computer operating systems, and that they all tend to be derived from UNIX System V (and therefore are claimed as SCO's intellectual property).'

His emphasis. But let's face it, he's emphasising the right part ;)

So they now think they are owed money by every modern OS: that includes FreeBSD, Windows, Apple, presumably QNX, etc. etc. Linux was just the easiest one to start with, since the source is available and IBM (with their deep pockets) are closely allied with it. MS have already paid up for a SCO license, although many commentators see this as a means to support SCO in their anti-UNIX lawsuits.

In more detail, SCO claim to have full IP rights to several major components of any high-spec OS:

  • JFS (Journalling File System).
  • NUMA (Non Uniform Memory Access).
  • RCU (Read-Copy Update).
  • SMP (Symmetrical Multi-Processing).

Let's pick one there: RCU in Linux seems to have originated (at a glance) from code developed by Sequent for their DYNIX/ptx UNIX, which was an AT&T UNIX System V-based OS. Sequent ran into trouble, and were bought out by IBM. Later, patches to implement RCU were submitted by IBM from Sequent's code.

SCO now owns the AT&T UNIX System V IP; therefore SCO owns the RCU code in Linux -- even though Sequent developed it independently, on top of the System V base, as far as I can see. Hey, that's even more 'viral' than the GPL -- at least the GPL tells you in advance what mistakes you'd have to make for this to happen! ;)

In other words, it seems their POV is that, if any code came anywhere near other code that may have been part of the original AT&T codebase, it's now tainted with SCO's own 'viral license'. Absolutely insane.

It's unclear exactly how 'all subsequent computer operating systems' also infringe this viral license, but SCO reckon they do.

In the meantime, they don't seem to have realized that these kinds of over-broad claims are not looked on favourably under EU law; while they make cartooney threats in the US, they open themselves up to all sorts of anti-trust-type claims elsewhere in the world. But then, at this stage I don't think they plan to actually offer any products, or operate as a software company, so they probably don't really care about that.

To really muddy the waters, an ex-SCO employee has recently made allegations that SCO copied code from the GPL'd Linux kernel into their UnixWare product.

Ah, fireworks. Anyway.

For a kinder, gentler form of total insanity, check out the guidelines for forming 'inexplicable mobs' in Manhattan -- via bb. Totally cool.

Software patent proposal passes

GREENS/EFA: Patent vote fails Europe's software programmers. Damn.

UK and German MEPs, in rejecting amendments to the report, have ignored the opinions of the Economic and Social Council, the Industry committee, the Culture committee, 140,000 people and 30 leading software scientists who signed two petitions to the Parliament, as well as the 95% of the European citizens who took part in a European Commission public consultation.

So I guess the next step is figure out who those MEPs were, and make sure they never get our votes again.

There's still time though: Mercedes Echerer MEP (Greens - A) notes: 'You can be sure that the report will have a very bumpy ride when it goes to plenary in September with one third of committee members in opposition.' We can at least try to let our voices be heard by the other two-thirds...

However, in some good Euronews: the Czech republic has passed a referendum on joining the EU.

More on Software Piracy figures

In response to this post regarding Ireland's piracy rate of 42%, Simon pointed out a possible flaw in the methodology on the forum;

'Although they could be comparing high software usage to negligible software sales in Ireland. Anyone with a half decent purchasing dept will buy from the UK or US to avoid ridiculous euro pricing. Compare prices on the Macromedia Store's shop, Studio MX in International English for $899 in the international store, $1133 in the UK store, or $1180 in the Euro store (all prices ex-taxes).'

So I took a look over the weekend. Here's the page on the survey. In the PDF, page 12-13, they describe the methodology. my comments:

  • 'To estimate software demand, IPR developed ratios for the amount of software installed on each PC. This was developed from market research on the U.S. market.' Do all markets really use the same software on their PCs? e.g. Asian markets will use text-entry apps, US markets will not.

  • 'the difference between software applications installed (demand) and software applications legally shipped (supply) equals the estimate of software applications pirated.'

  • 'Uplift factors' are applied to generalize software shipment data from the participating companies, first to the entire US industry, then to the world. 'These uplift factors include estimates for open-source software. For this study, IPR has assumed that open source software is free and not pirated.' eh, thanks ;)

    I'm not quite sure what this means, but I think it means that they make an estimate of how much of the software shipment data represents OS software, and then add that to the 'legally shipped' side.

  • 'IPR believes that certain software shipments in the data collected from participating companies are reported for one country, but the software is exported and used in another country. In order to account for this and to eliminate this effect from the piracy study as much as possible, net import estimates were developed on a country-by-country basis.'

    This covers Simon's point -- but it's not 100% clear, since those biases aren't listed. I wonder if it takes into account Ireland's paradoxical situation; while Ireland is (or was, at least) the world's top exporter of software, it's still cheaper for Irish users to import software applications from overseas ;)

Dublin: the new bridge just down the road from my house has finally been completed -- in time for Bloomsday it seems, since it's named after Joyce. Obligingly, the Dublin traffic camera operators have got a great night shot of it:

Wind Farms

NYTimes via jwz: dude, you can't build a wind farm where it would mess up the view from the Kennedy Compound!

Cape Wind Associates hopes to build America's first offshore wind farm: 130 windmills, spaced a third to a half of a mile apart, across a shoal seven miles off the coast of Hyannis. Embedded in the ocean floor, each turbine would tower higher than the top of the Statue of Liberty's torch, its three 161-foot blades churning at 16 RPM. The wind forest promises to provide Cape Codders, on average, with 75% of their electricity, 1.8% of the total electrical needs of New England. (...)

Soon, the Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound was filing lawsuits, mounting political pressure in Boston and Washington and, to bolster its legal case and maximize public anxiety, generating volumes of doomsaying critiques: (...) The yacht-club set opened its checkbooks, donating money and stock to cover the 100,000-a-month bills for rent, three full-time salaries, television and radio time, two lobbyists and three law firms. (...)

I think I may be one of a small number here, but I'm a huge fan of how wind farms look. It's a similar thing to seeing pictures of the space shuttle; gigantic technological structures are cool! Maybe that's just me though. ;)

European Software Patent amendments contd.

Arlene McCarthy is the MEP proposing to amend the operations of the European patent office, and permit software patents in Europe.

Last week, the Guardian printed this story by Nick Hill and rms setting out the free software position on why software patents should be avoided.

Now, McCarthy's response:

We have an obligation to legislate not just for one section of the software industry who seeks to impose its business model on the rest of industry, which moreover is not 'free', but is actually a different form of monopoly by imposing a copyright licence system on users.

No comment...

Software piracy figures – pass the salt

Hmm. The Irish branch of the BSA claims that the percentage of illegal software used in Ireland stood at 42 percent for 2002.

Does that mean 42 percent of all software running in Ireland is a pirate copy? I wonder if anyone ever audits this figures -- qui custodiet etc. The article continues:

'The lack of improvement on Ireland's piracy rate can be attributed to the proliferation of Internet piracy ... and a certain amount of apathy,' said Julian McMenamin, BSA Ireland chairman. 'But whatever the excuse, a piracy rate of 42 percent is appalling.'

Is internet piracy really that widespread in the workplace? I can imagine your typical 15-year-old firing up KaZaa or whatever, but is this really likely for your typical Irish IT staffer? I doubt it, to be honest.

And given Ireland's broadband woes, it'd probably be cheaper to hop in the car, drive to the local Compustore, and buy it over the counter, just to avoid paying those ISDN charges. ;)

Just to contradict the 'internet piracy' statement, in this story, McMenamin then states that 'a particular problem in Ireland was small and medium-sized companies purchasing a licence that is too small, or not upgrading their licence as their companies grow. An offending company might typically have a 10-user licence but allow 50 people to use the software.'

This is a hell of a lot more likely than the 'scary internet' bugbear, but I would still find it very hard to imagine that this is a uniquely Irish problem that could account for Ireland supposedly having nearly twice the rate of piracy of the UK (42% in Ireland vs. the UK's 26%).

While taking a look at the BSA site, I note that their automated tool, GASP, now exposes the illegal distribution and storage of copyrighted music, apparently: 'new features in GASP v6.5 include reports that show a complete listing of MP3 files on audited systems'.

I wonder if my collection of MP3s downloaded from eMusic.com, and ripped from albums I bought, would set off its alarms. Given that the MP3 format has no way to differentiate between pirated and non-pirated music, I would imagine so. False positives a go-go!

Patents: Eamon O'Tuathail's call for action against software patents. The vote of the Legal Affairs Committee of the EP was yesterday, apparently. Wonder how it went...

Boca Raton’s rep gets a battering again

The Miami Herald: Bogus Boca: the spa for spam:

Poor Boca. It's as if infamy has taken up permanent residence. Such a startling number of Boca Raton firms have been linked to fraudulent schemes.

The article then lists the past scams operated by Boca Raton firms; a mind-boggling list. It then notes the press Boca's been getting in the UK:

``Golden beaches, palm tree-lined streets, manicured golf courses and giant motor yachts moored at the marinas: Boca Raton in Florida is a millionaire's paradise. It's also the spam capital of the world.''

(Guardian story here).

Cthulhu Quiz Fun!

<

p>

I amAzathoth!

Known as the Blind Idiot God, the center of all cycles known as Azathoth is the great void itself, infinite creation and inescapable oblivion made one. The Great God is without ego, as it has been embodied in a seperate consciousness as Azathoth has cast off the curse of self-awareness. Surrounded by the host of flautist servitors, piping the songs of the unknowable, Azathoth is not to be known by his aspirants. That is the purpose of another God...

Which Great Old One are you?

ReVirt, Patents, and Spandex

ReVirt is very, very cool security functionality:

ReVirt (part of the CoVirt project) is a complete Linux-on-Linux virtual machine with replay capability: you can explore the state of the entire virtual machine at any point in the past. For example, if you discover an intruder, you can 'go back in time' to see how they broke in, watch the exploit in progress, and discover what was compromised. The overhead of virtualization and logging is only 15-30%, even for kernel-intensive applications.

Can't wait until this is stable...

Games: The Body Behind Vice City's Tommy Vercetti (Escape Mag): an interview with the guy who did the motion-capture for Vice City:

What advice do you have for any readers interest in doing motion capture?

... Stuff your Spandex mo-cap suit. That's the key.

Patents: SFGate: Inventors patent ideas to pre-empt their rivals: '(IP lawyer) Dennis Fernandez has come up with an idea for TV sets with built-in cameras and small screens that would let viewers talk to one another while watching a show. ... Fernandez has no intention of actually building such a device. But the idea is his -- and he has a certificate from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to prove it.'

And there was me thinking these things had to be non-obvious, and have novelty, to be patentable. :( What is the US PTO up to? And what's going to happen if the European Patent Office get their way?

I'm beginning to think a pro-bono collection of freely-licensable defensive patents, filed by the FSF or similar, is the only way to work around this brokenness.

[IP] do read last Para. Time to correct the record re. the pillaged Museum in B (fwd)

Lost from the Baghdad museum: truth (Guardian). hmmm! It seems we've been had:

(In April, it was widely reported that) 100,000-plus priceless items were looted (from the Baghdad museum) either under the very noses of the Yanks, or by the Yanks themselves. And the only problem with it is that it's nonsense. It isn't true. It's made up. It's bollocks.

Incredible -- it seems (a) the museum was looted -- to a degree; the vast majority of 'missing' items had actually been moved into safe storage, and 'most of the serious looting was an inside job'.

And (b) the academics and journalists who reported '170,000 items ... stolen or destroyed' had been led by the nose by Dr Donny George, the museum's director of research. It just wasn't true:

Over the past six weeks it has gradually become clear that most of the objects which had been on display in the museum galleries were removed before the war. Some of the most valuable went into bank vaults, where they were discovered last week. Eight thousand more have been found in 179 boxes hidden 'in a secret vault'. And several of the larger and most remarked items seem to have been spirited away long before the Americans arrived in Baghdad.

George is now quoted as saying that that items lost could represent 'a small percentage' of the collection and blamed shoddy reporting for the exaggeration. 'There was a mistake,' he said. 'Someone asked us what is the number of pieces in the whole collection. We said over 170,000, and they took that as the number lost. Reporters came in and saw empty shelves and reached the conclusion that all was gone. But before the war we evacuated all of the small pieces and emptied the showcases except for fragile or heavy material that was difficult to move.'

This indictment of world journalism has caused some surprise to those who listened to George and others speak at the British Museum meeting. One art historian, Dr Tom Flynn, now speaks of his 'great bewilderment'. 'Donny George himself had ample opportunity to clarify to the best of (his) knowledge the extent of the looting and the likely number of missing objects,' says Flynn. 'Is it not a little strange that quite so many journalists went away with the wrong impression, while Mr George made little or not attempt to clarify the context of the figure of 170,000 which he repeated with such regularity and gusto before, during, and after that meeting.' To Flynn it is also odd that George didn't seem to know that pieces had been taken into hiding or evacuated. 'There is a queasy subtext here if you bother to seek it out,' he suggests.

Poland, and Irish Internet round-up

So, Poland just joined the EU - welcome! ;)

Meanwhile, time for a trawl through IrelandOffline news.

Boards.IE have had enough of crappy internet from the telcos -- they're hoping to launch an ISP. Given one company's continuing stranglehold over the Irish internet, they'll need every bit of luck they can get. Good luck guys.

And, in case anyone's swallowing that 'there isn't the demand' line, check this story out:

The story goes how Old Man Kennedy was getting his shoes shined back in '29 and the shoe-shine boy was telling him what stocks looked good and what didn't. Old Man Kennedy knew the game was up and it was time to get out of the market.

I got my hair cut this morning and the middle-aged man beside me was telling the barber how he had downgraded his ISDN line to get DSL but the DSL failed the test and now he's stuck with a normal line. The barber was asking him what company he applied through, told him of the others, asked how far from the exchange he was, told him where the exchange was (as he didn't know), said 'mmm, that'd be about 3km, as the crow flies. But it's not as the crow flies - it's the turns in the road and that.'

Now if my barber can give me the technical requirements for DSL and people are talking of stimulating demand, you have to realise that something fishy is going on.

Forfas delivers damning broadband report : 'Irish DSL prices for small businesses are about five to six times higher' than other European countries. Hmm, I wonder why the telcos are reporting a lack of demand.

IrelandOffline's Broadband - The Next Steps for Ireland document, which was presented to the Dail's Joint Committee on Communications last week. Conclusions:

  • Prioritise Wireless: 'it is no longer time for trials'

  • Increase Availability of Affordable Backhaul

  • Raise Public Awareness of Alternative Technologies

And how's about this for an Alternative Technology? Tethered balloons trialing in the North. Genius. The company is called Skylinc, and uses blimps flying at 1500m; each provides a coverage area of 80km diameter. The result is 'fibre rate service at DSL prices'; non-contended for 30,000 customers, with 1-10 MB/s throughput. I really hope they can pull this off....

Quantum Cryptography – up and running in Boston (fwd)

Wow. Things move pretty fast in the world of quantum crypto it seems; according to this IP mail, BBN have had a VPN protected using quantum cryptography up and running since December 2002.

Date: Mon, 09 Jun 2003 18:18:26 -0400
From: Dave Farber (spam-protected)
To: ip (spam-protected)
Subject: Quantum Cryptography - up and running in Boston

From: Chip Elliott (spam-protected)
Date: Mon, 09 Jun 2003 16:51:09 -0400
To: (spam-protected) (spam-protected)
Cc: craig Partridge (spam-protected) Chip Elliott (spam-protected)
Subject: Quantum Cryptography - up and running in Boston

Dave, Bob,

Craig Partridge has forwarded me your message on the BBC's article on quantum cryptography. Indeed, quantum cryptography is much closer than most IP folks might think!

We've had an Internet protected by quantum cryptography up and running in our lab since Dec 2002. It's a full Virtual Private Network (VPN) protected by our own quantum cryptography apparatus running through dark fiber. This is a DARPA project, in collaboration with the BU Photonics Center and Harvard University Applied Physics Dept, and next steps will be a build-out in metro Boston to link our campuses.

We'll be announcing our work at SIGCOMM 2003 later this summer.

Cheers,

-- Chip

Chip Elliott Principal Engineer, BBN


You are subscribed as (spam-protected) To manage your subscription, go to

http://v2.listbox.com/member/?listname=ip

Archives at: http://www.interesting-people.org/archives/interesting-people/

‘A land where all the children smell of petrol’

The Observer's 'state of the union' report from Baghdad. Summary: total anarchy:

A hundred and fifty dollars or so for an AK-47, double that for a pistol because it's easier to hide. You can buy them rather easily from the street-markets. These are patrolled hourly by US forces whose job is to check for people selling guns. The traders get round this with diabolical cunning by looking at their watches and, once an hour, hiding all the guns. The liberating forces offered a cross-Baghdad amnesty a couple of weeks ago: the grand total of guns deposited was a magnificent none. ... If a silhouetted someone tries to wave you down, with a gun, in a long hot road full of heat-mirage and six-year-olds siphoning petrol, you have to choose: chances are it's a Bad Person so you keep the foot down, but if it's the Americans and you race past, they'll shoot at you, lots, because they're as scared as everyone else in this shambles of a city.

Then a classic story:

One night I visited a friend about a mile away, and foolishly stayed up talking, and ended up trying to get a late taxi home. Outside the hotel they shrugged, and then one brave young thing disappeared for a minute and came back carrying lots of guns and walked me through the blackout for 10 minutes until we came across a darkened little street party of severely scary drivers, the fat moon winking its light off a battery of gold teeth and metal teacups and, for all I'm really sure, recently bloodied scimitars. Not for 10,000 dollars, I was told. 'Ali Baba, Ali Baba,' they repeated. Some Iraqis get annoyed by this - the thief of the 1,001 Nights was Kuwaiti - but the verbal shorthand is fast and always works: the thieves are out, and have guns, and even though we have guns too we're not going to risk it. Are you mad? Where are you from?

I mention Scotland, and we have one of those extremely odd late-night conversations, this time about Mel Gibson. Apparently one of the very favourite films in Baghdad is Braveheart, because Saddam used to show it repeatedly, nightly, with furious subtitles, to demonstrate just what bastards the English were. I explain that few Scots have a television because most are still running around in woad, thanks to the English. We raise a happy toast - sticky, sweet tea - to the general fog of historical propagandising and the more specific idea of 'Freedom!'. Somewhere nearby - a mile away? A street away? - another stupid pop-pop gun battle breaks out, and they really won't take me home, and so I say I might walk, and they raise their teacups again and say you must be either very brave or very stupid, when the truth of course is that I am neither, but something else again relatively new to them, which is very quietly drunk. I bravely wake up my friend and sleep on the sofa.

The secret city of London

The Times: The secret city is a great reservoir of urban myth. Great article about the urban legend fodder that is 'the city beneath the city'.

Date: Mon, 09 Jun 2003 15:19:37 +0100
From: "Martin Adamson" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: The secret city is a great reservoir of urban myth

The Times

June 09, 2003

The secret city is a great reservoir of urban myth

Richard Morrison

YOU know what worries me most about London? It's how the buildings stand up. It seems miraculous that they aren't wobbling like a contralto's bosom. So many tunnels, bunkers, sewers, stations and vaults have been dug beneath the capital that the famous clay on which London is built must now resemble a Swiss cheese. Last week the Post Office closed its Mail Rail, the underground train that sped our epistles from Whitechapel to Paddington, or vice versa, for 75 years. Most Londoners were vaguely aware of its existence. But what else is down there? The answer is that nobody knows the whole truth, and most of us don't know a hundredth of it. But that's fine with me, because in the absence of hard facts this secret city-beneath-the-city is a wonderful reservoir of urban myth. And that's much more entertaining.

Some things I do know. The Bank of England also has its own underground railway, presumably to cart sackfuls of dosh to fat cats in the Square Mile. So does Harrods, presumably to cart the sackfuls back to the Bank. Also lurking below ground are no fewer than 40 ghost stations: disused Tube stops, their eerily empty platforms briefly glimpsed from passing trains.

Or are they deserted? Some had -- perhaps still have -- very active afterlives, if rumour can be believed. The Down Street station, between Green Park and Hyde Park Corner, was used as an underground Cabinet Room during the war.

The never-officially-opened Bull and Bush, its entrance half-concealed on Hampstead Heath, is said to be the nerve centre controlling the floodgates that would be swiftly closed if the Thames ever broke into the Tube. But at one time it was also claimed to be the mysterious "Paddock", the Government's subterranean control room in the early 1940s. Two things fuelled this enduring urban myth: the reference in Churchill's memoirs to a bunker "near Hampstead" (which would be a strange description of the well-known bunker at Dollis Hill, near Neasden); and the odd story of a man, walking on the Heath during the war, who was startled to see the unmistakable figure of the great Winnie emerging from what seemed to be a bush.

What's certainly true is that some Tube stations were equipped at that time with deep-level "parallel" platforms, designed as bomb shelters on the understanding that London Transport would be allowed to convert them into express Tube lines later. Mysteriously, this plan was abandoned. Or was it? Again, urban myth declares that there is indeed a parallel, express Northern Line, but that commuters will never be allowed on it. It is reserved for when VIPs have to be whisked out of London quickly and stealthily. (The urban myth doesn't reveal what they would do when they reached Morden.)

As for these deep-level parallel stations themselves, their fates are equally intriguing. Eisenhower's secret wartime headquarters, a vast, 32-storey inverted skyscraper under Goodge Street Tube Station, is now used as secure storage -- allegedly for confiscated pornography, among other things. The fate of the wartime shelter under Chancery Lane Tube Station is even more intriguing. During the Cold War it was apparently converted into a very unusual telephone exchange -- one with a six-week supply of food, its own well, and 12 miles of tunnels extending across London. That would have withstood an atom bomb attack, but not an H-bomb, so it was scrapped. The saloon-bar experts tell me that something even vaster, deeper and spookier lies under Ludgate Hill. But the Chancery Lane "cavern" still remains off-limits.

So does the bulk of underground Westminster and Whitehall. Buildings such as the Ministry of Defence are said to resemble icebergs: seven-eighths below the surface, and all connected by a warren of tunnels stretching to Buck Palace, Charing Cross and God knows where else. Or so a man told me at a party.

Not all of underground London is secret. You can wade into the cathedral-like caverns of Joseph Bazalgette's sewers if you want. And some resolute aesthetes do, admiring what is said to be the world's best Victorian brickwork.

Unsurprisingly, however, there is no comprehensive map of subterranean London. Not in the public domain anyway. The engineers building the Jubilee Line Extension reputedly had to submit their proposed route under Parliament Square time and time again, never being told the reasons for its rejection, until by a process of elimination they found the one passage that (presumably) didn't send trains crashing into Blair's war room or MI5's interrogation cells.

But what's to become of the tunnel we do know about -- the now mothballed Mail Rail? Call me biased, but I think it should be converted into a dedicated cycle track, providing us Lycra loonies with a safe, fast, dry route across London. Either that, or it will have to become the world's longest, deepest bowling alley.

SpamAssassin in Playboy

Jeremy Kister on the SpamAssassin-talk mailing list notes:

In an article written by Randy Cassingham, Randy describes 'why e-mail abuse should be a crime' and suggests ways to stop spam. His fifth suggestion states Ensure that your ISP is taking steps to combat the problem, such as installing SpamAssassin...

This is in Playboy July 2003 pg 53 (bottom). (and no, i usually dont read it for the articles ;) )

Plus a pretty good article in Forbes, too. A good news week for SpamAssassin...

Security Issues

funny quote on the 'nmap in the Matrix: Reloaded' thing at the Reg:

But then, the film does take place in the future. Is (security analyst Michal Zalewski) surprised to see unpatched SSH servers running in the year AD 2199? 'It's not that uncommon for people to run the old distribution,' he says. 'I know we had a bunch of boxes that were unpatched for two years.'

The Today Programme

The Today Programme on BBC Radio 4 has been my main news source for several months (at least since I moved to somewhere with decent broadband, and didn't have to contemplate getting up at unearthly hours to listen to it ;) .

In the past week or two, they've broken a major story, the 'sexing-up' allegations against the UK government's Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction dossier (yes, that's 'sexing-up'.)

There's transcripts of the interviews here and on the Times website (thanks to P O'Neill for the pointer to the latter). Well worth a read, if you enjoy hearing evasive politicians getting skewered by a skillful interviewer. ;)

Nice Guys Win

That's the message from Robert Sapolsky, professor of biological sciences at Stanford and neurology at Stanford's School of Medicine, from his studies of baboon behaviour in the Serengeti:

For the humans who would like to know what it takes to be an alpha man--if I were 25 and asked that question I would certainly say competitive prowess is important--balls, translated into the more abstractly demanding social realm of humans. What's clear to me now at 45 is, screw the alpha male stuff. Go for an alternative strategy. Go for the social affiliation, build relationships with females, don't waste your time trying to figure out how to be the most adept socially cagy male-male competitor. Amazingly enough that's not what pays off in that system. Go for the affiliative stuff and bypass the male crap. I could not have said that when I was 25.

A handful of (the baboons) simply walked away from it over the years. Nathaniel was one, and Joshua was another. They had the lowest stress hormone levels you've ever seen in male baboons, and outlived their cohorts. The fact that this alternative strategy is actually the more adaptive one is one of the good bits of news to come out of primatology in quite some time. If that's the future of primates, this planet is going to be in great shape in a couple of million years.

A great article, and pretty funny in places -- especially where he discusses the results of baboons' lack of a developed frontal cortex:

Even though there are tremendous individual differences among the baboons, they're still at this neurological disadvantage, compared to the apes, and thus they typically blow it at just the right time. They could be scheming these incredible coalitions, but at the last moment, one decides to slash his partner in the ass instead of the guy they're going after, just because he can get away with it for three seconds. The whole world is three seconds long--they're very pointillist in their emotions.

More at the Edge Magazine site.

Bumper Stickers

My try-out SpamAssassin bumper stickers from BumperActive just arrived, along with a hand-written note stating that they taken the liberty of trimming them down for me -- nice touch ;)

The resolution isn't great, but then the source image wasn't either ;) Print quality, however, is a beaut. Recommended. Now to get sticking!

SCO’s Hand-Waving Drags On

Ho hum... SCO staggers on. Snore. Quick links:

Dublin — Apparently

JA forwards a link to Veronica Guerin, the new movie by Joel Schumacher, based on the life of the eponymous Irish journo. It boasts this beaut on their official ad website:

In the mid-1990s, Dublin was nothing short of a war zone, with a few powerful drug lords battling for control. ... Based on a true story, this powerful, emotional film from producer Jerry Bruckheimer (jm: oh no) ... and producer Joel Schumacher ... gives unique insight into a fascinating and complex aspect of the Irish conflict ...

My emphasis. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Somehow or other I must have missed all the warzone stuff... I wonder if they're confusing it with Bogota?

Salam Pax, P. K. Dick fan

Slate with a fantastic article about Salam Pax:

His latest post mentioned an afternoon he spent at the Hamra Hotel pool, reading a borrowed copy of The New Yorker. I laughed out loud. He then mentioned an escapade in which he helped deliver 24 pizzas to American soldiers. I howled. Salam Pax, the most famous and most mysterious blogger in the world, was my interpreter. The New Yorker he had been reading--mine. Poolside at the Hamra--with me. The 24 pizzas--we had taken them to a unit of 82nd Airborne soldiers I was writing about. ...

I needed a new interpreter to fill the gap for two weeks or so, and the colleague mentioned that he had just met a smart and friendly guy named Salam. I quickly traced Salam to the Sheraton Hotel. Salam--this is his real first name--was sitting in a chair in the lobby, reading Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle. I knew, at that moment, that I would hire him.

... we'll all be hearing more from Salam: He has signed up to write a fortnightly column for the Guardian, and he continues to blog. He also continues to be surprised by the reaction to his work. When he was told by the Austrian interviewer that his fans had begun making 'Salam Pax' T-shirts and coffee mugs, his response was frank--'Are you kidding?' Nobody is kidding. The coffee mugs are for real, and Salam Pax is for real.

Thanks to Ben for another top tip. Ben, start a blog!

‘There is no reliable information’

Karlin forwards a good round-up from Conor O'Clery, the Irish Times' Washington correspondent, on the WMD evidence issues:

At one point during rehearsals at CIA headquarters in Washington for that speech, Mr Powell threw several pages into the air and declared: 'I'm not reading this. This is bullshit,' according to today's US News and World Report.

The most overblown conclusions about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction came from a 'mini-CIA' set up in the Pentagon by the Defence Secretary, Mr Donald Rumsfeld, according to an army intelligence officer who told Time magazine: 'Rumsfeld was deeply, almost pathologically, distorting the intelligence.' ....

A classified assessment of Iraq's chemical weapons by the Defence Intelligence Agency in September 2002, obtained by US News, stated: 'There is no reliable information on whether Iraq is producing and stockpiling chemical weapons ...'

Challenge-Response: Patent Fireworks!

A timely reminder for the European Commission, while it considers permitting software patents.

In the US, software patents have been permitted for years, with hilarious results. Here's a good example.

Back in 1997-98, spam was a minor irritant, but the practice of 'listbombing' (forge-subscribing one's enemies to lots of mailing lists) was more troublesome. As a result, several mailing-list manager programs like Majordomo added challenge-response to their subscription process; this is why, when you sign up for a list, you have to click on a link in the mail you get, to 'confirm' you really asked to be signed up. (Here's a mail detailing how LISTSERV had this feature in March 1996.)

All very clever, and it solved the problem nicely.

Some bright sparks then noticed this, and decided it was non-obvious somehow to apply this to spam filtering. They overlooked the prior art (more listed here) and registered some patents.

Fast-forward to 2003, and we see that there are now no less than three pretty-much-identical anti-spam C-R patents which have been granted:

Oops! Where's the popcorn?

(Thanks to this posting from RFG for spotting this.)

Google News Censors Indymedia

Google News has been forced to remove IndyMedia from Google News' feed of sources, by an email campaign.

I'm in two minds about this -- I can see Google News' point. If an unmoderated feed allows crap like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion to get through, then GN obviously doesn't want that turning up in their 'news' search results. But removing IMC altogether seems suboptimal; I would assume the front page newswire -- or at least the features -- is a bit more moderated, and therefore trustworthy.

Getting balanced news -- and that means lefty IMC along with neocon Fox -- is key, and Google News was doing a pretty good job up 'til that point.

Interview with nmap author

a good interview with nmap's Fyodor on /. Snippet:

  1. During your time running Honeypots, you'll have seen a lot of compromised systems. Is there any incident that's really stuck in your mind because of the audacity of the attempt, or the stupidity of the person attempting the breakin?

  2. On the humorous front, one attacker was was running a public webcam during his exploits, so we were able to watch him crack into our boxes in real time :). I will resist the urge to link a screenshot. His rough location was determined when we noticed Mrs. Doubtfire playing on his TV and correlated that with public schedule listings. He was working with a Pakistani group, but was actually on the US East Coast.

    In the 'disturbing audacity' front, this year we found that a group of crackers had broken into an ecommerce site and actually programmed an automated billing-sytem-to-IRC gateway. They could obtain or validate credit card numbers by simply querying the channel bot! Expect a more detailed writeup soon.

Depleted Uranium

temporary politics break. ;) This story was big news in the UK a few weeks ago, but never made it into the news over here. Dr. Asaf Durakovic, a former US Army advisor, sent a team to Afghanistan to test civilians for uranium contamination after the war there:

Without exception, every person donating urine specimens tested positive for uranium internal contamination. ... the donors presented concentrations of toxic and radioactive uranium isotopes between 100 and 400 times greater than in the Gulf veterans tested in 1999. (jm: also on average 26 times the maximum permissible level in the US)

'If (the) findings are corroborated in other communities across Afghanistan, the country faces a severe public health disaster... Every subsequent generation is at risk.'

Also, a very interesting interview with Major Doug Rokke, who worked on the cleanup procedures during the first Gulf War, dealing with DU and other contaminants.

Slashdot, and Electric Vehicles

current /. poll: what SpamAssassin setting do you use? Cool! (but who are the nutters voting 'less than 0'?)

Tech: Danny blogs about fuel-cell vehicles, linking to the DrivingTheFuture site. I met Doug Korthof of DTF a month or two ago -- a nice guy with a persuasive case, namely that electric vehicles work, and the current concentration on fuel-cell and hybrid vehicles is a diversionary tactic.

The facts of the matter really are quite wierd, as the OC Weekly interview notes:

  • When (Doug) first got the (GM) EV1, the lease allowed for unlimited mileage. But the car came with something else: a defective lead-acid Delco battery that took a couple of trips to the mechanic to get replaced. GM wound up replacing all the Delcos with Panasonic lead-acid batteries. But there was an unanticipated consequence: the Panasonics got such dramatically better range than the Delcos that GM took all its EV1s that had not been leased off the market and forced existing drivers into new leases that did limit mileage.

  • Korthof experienced even better mileage with a nickel-metal hydride battery that allowed his 1997 Honda EV-Plus to run for 140 miles without a recharge. Honda took the car back in 2002 and junked it. No subsequent electric cars had nickel batteries, and Chevron Texaco Corp. since acquired the worldwide patent to nickel-metal hydride batteries, which the company is partly using to satisfy the burgeoning hybrid-car market.

I took a look at the EV1 myself, and talked to Doug about the recharging system he uses. He recharges their 2 EVs directly from a plug socket in his garage, and with his house fitted with solar panels, it costs about 25 bucks a month to keep them charged. Of course, there's a lot of up-front cost to install the solar panels and buy the EVs, but IMO it would be worth it.

A moot point anyway -- most EVs (with the exception of the Toyota RAV4-EV) can no longer be bought, even second hand. Instead, there's a recall in operation, and existing EVs are being recalled and dismantled. Even purely from a 'cool tech' POV, this is a shame.

e-voting in Ireland ‘poses a threat to our democracy’

Margaret McGaley has been investigating the Nedap/Powervote e-voting system that's recently come into use in Ireland, as part of her undergrad thesis, and the conclusion is not good: 'E-voting poses a threat to our democracy'. She goes on:

I hope to mount a campaign over the next few months with the following goals:
  • to prevent the use of the Nedap/Powervote system in Irish elections,
  • to prevent the purchase of any more equipment or software from
    • Nedap/Powervote by the Irish government, and
  • to convince the government that any electronic voting system used in this country should be developed here, using formal methods and the Mercuri method, and should be open source.

More info at the the report site.

The Nedap/Powervote e-voting system is the one that the Irish government never bothered getting a copy of the source for, instead doing a basic under-NDA source audit. Reportedly, there were comments in the resulting review doc along the lines of 'The source code and comments for this section is in Dutch, so we're not sure exactly what it does'. And if that's not bad enough, it runs on WinCE, with the votes tabulated in an Access database. ;)

Let's hope Nedap/Powervote use their election-fixing powers purely for good, and not for evil! ;)

BTW, myself, I'm surprised the Irish government (a) went to a Dutch company for the technology to do this, and (b) didn't get hold of the entire system's components and source, or at least do a stronger audit, given their experience of imported computing devices including some 'bonus functionality' in the past.

Eurovision Scandal

No, not the supposedly politically-motivated nul points for the UK, the much more scandalous way that RTE ignored democracy and the popular vote in favour of their own autocratic 'Star Chamber' jury. Outrage! Boo!

'Voters had a five-minute slot in which to register their selections after all of the songs had been performed. Because Ireland was third of the entries to disclose its voting, the phone lines could not be kept open for any longer than the five-minute slot. Eircom, which operated the phone lines, had agreed with RTE' that it would collate all of the votes within nine to 10 minutes of lines closing. While the company fulfilled its obligation, RTE' decided to use a jury verdict rather than phone votes. ...

(My emphasis.) Hmm... methinks the journo doth protest too much.

Eircom said its decision not to charge voters for their calls was a goodwill gesture and should not be interpreted as an admission of failure on its part regarding its role in the voting. 'The system and the technology on our part worked as it should have on the night,' a spokeswoman said.'

Aaaaah. I get the picture.

GTA3: Vice City secrets

Hmm. I don't remember spotting a tiki bar in GTA3:VC... must go searching when that VGA adapter turns up. ;)

I've been repeatedly struck, while in California, what an incredible job the GTA3:VC designers did with the graphics and level design. It evokes so many visual aspects of US cities, perfectly, and this is pretty impressive when you consider they're a Scottish games house. This interview details how they did it:

GS: Did you do any on-location studies of any areas to help with the design of Vice City? If so, where did you go, and how helpful was it?

AG: After the near-death experience that was the development of Grand Theft Auto III, the entire team flew out to Miami to recover and soak in the atmosphere of the area. While the rest of the team sunbathed or propped up the News Bar, the ever-industrious art team headed out onto the baking hot Miami streets armed with digital cameras. We split up and covered every area we were interested in using for Vice City. The animation team armed with digital camcorders spent time examining exactly how women in bikinis and roller skates moved, and the city modelers braved both the seediest, scariest parts of Miami and got kicked out of all the best places. By the time we returned to sunny Scotland, we'd amassed countless hours of video and close to 10,000 digital photos. When scouting locations, we tried to get a cross-section of shots -- a good few were wide angle to remind us how the place fit together, and the rest were details to aid in modeling and texture usage. The guys in the New York office also sorted out some professional location scouts from the film industry for us who provided us with some really excellent locations for any areas we hadn't managed to get enough detail on. I can't imagine capturing the feel of a city without all this resource material, never mind actually spending time in the place. Sending the entire team rather than a few leads allows everyone to understand what it is they are trying to make. We couldn't have done it any other way.

PAL vs. NTSC: a maze of twisty turny passages

A cautionary tale of consumer electronics regional lockdown follows. Hopefully Google'll pick it up and it'll help someone else in the same boat.

So I brought my PS2 with me from Ireland, along with a few good games, figuring that it'd be cheaper, and simpler, to bring them and buy a few bits of converter hardware here, rather than buy the lot from scratch.

How wrong I was. :(

So I've already spent about 50 bucks on a step-up transformer to convert US 110v to the 220v my European PS2 requires. Of course, the European PS2 outputs in PAL rather than NTSC, and most US TVs, including my one, accepts only NTSC input.

So the next step is a PAL to NTSC converter. Sounds like a pretty simple piece of equipment, right? Well, nope. Most pages out there that deal with this recommend either (A) buying a multi-region DVD player that'll convert PAL to NTSC on the fly -- which won't work for me, as I'm not looking to play DVDs per se -- (B) buying a converter like this one for about 280 dollars, (C) buying a new TV (even more expensive), or (D) buying a VCR that'll convert on the fly, like the Samsung SV-5000W, for about 350 dollars. (forget it, that's more than the price of the PS2!)

However, there does seem to be another option: a PAL-to-XGA converter, allowing me to display the PS2 output on my PC's monitor. Still pricey at 152 dollars though.

One more: I could just buy a new PS2 over here for 180 dollars and install a multi-region mod chip. But my soldering skills are rusty, and license-wise, it's iffy. :(

Finally, though, the winning option seems to be this: Lik-Sang.com sell a PS2-to-VGA output converter box for about 50 dollars plus shipping. Given that the display quality is improved -- and my monitor is sharper and bigger than my TV anyway -- I think I'll go for this.

LPR as a general spooling and queueing mechanism

Good article on the use of LPR/LPD as a general-purpose distributed queueing mechanism for non-printing applications.

I maintained PLP (the predecessor of LPRng , which the author uses) for a while, and this kind of thing was one of the main featuresets I wanted to enable.

I know someone in (if I recall correctly) BASF was using it to generate movies, from frame-grabs individually LPR'd by a network of machines. As a result we had to add sub-second accuracy to the queueing; not sure if that made it into LPRng though ;)

What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailors

The story of the U.S.S. Constitution and her drunkard sailors. A great story, so I forwarded it on, and what do you know, Ben debunks it thoroughly:

What a load of bollocks.

As to the alcohol detail, working it out on fingers and toes, it comes to over 3 gallons of liquor per person per day. 12 pints of rum would be a big day for me and I probably wouldn't want to get up and do it all over again the next day. And by day 100 ...

But the big honking red flag here is that the US was at war with FRANCE, not Britain, at the time. Ponder for a moment the concept of a US ship (when the US Navy was brand new and very small) sinking this many British ships and, ahem, sailing up the Firth of Clyde to -- this gets good -- raid a distillery. I think some response from the Royal Navy would have been considered ...

And the ship was launched on the 22nd, not the 27th.

Of course, this wouldn't stop, oh, the SECRETARY OF THE NAVY from repeating it as fact!

Ben, you should start your own blog.

Caelen and Barbara’s Adventures

Caelen and Barbara's travelogue from Luang Prabang just fills me with reminiscence for Laos -- I'd go back in a shot, it's an amazing country (well, for tourists at least, not sure about the folks living there).

Also interesting to see that Caelen went for some minor surgery while in Bangkok. Great idea -- 150 bucks is a hell of a lot cheaper than you'd get it pretty much anywhere else, and the Bangkok hospitals that cater for tourists are, by all accounts, super-swanky. Great idea!

Small World

wow, this is wierd.

So I did a quick blog-hop, as you do. First, I visited Bernie's interim weblogs.com blog (thanks for the link B! BTW, this looks cool).

From there, I hopped to Micheal O'Foghlu's site, and finally settled the question -- yes, he is related to Cormac O'Foghlu, who I used to work with ;)

On to Sean McGrath's blog, where I came across an interesting link to DemoTelco -- a nifty site where anyone can set up a blog and write entries via SMS messages. Set up by a Dublin company, Newbay.

Cool. To check it out, I took a look at one of the blogs on the 'most popular' sidebar, and what do you know -- it's Caelen King's foneblog!

Lots of (er, frankly bizarre) pics of Caelen and Barbara. Given the shots of Euro coins and crappy Dublin weather, I guess they're back from their round-the-world trip, then...

Sure enough, it notes:

We are back in Ireland and back at work - Our Really Big Adventure is over

Know that feeling. :( Still, at least they went to the bother of finishing up their travelogue. I think I'll take a read over that in full when I get a chance...

The ‘One Bite Of The Apple’ Problem

Ray Everett-Church of CAUCE writes regarding the latest US Senate anti-spam bill.

This bill simply creates a set of baseline standards for truthfulness, which if the spammer can meet, they can send as much spam as they wish. This characteristic, common to all the leading spam bills, makes it a gross misnomer to call them 'anti-spam.' 'Anti-consumer,' sure. 'Pro-spam,' even. But not 'anti-spam.'

Any legislation that permits all of America's estimated 23 million small businesses to legally send everyone at least one email cannot be considered anti-spam. And any bill that limits a consumer's recourse to clicking an opt-out link 23 million times isn't going to make our lives any better. By limiting enforcement to Attorneys General or the FTC, with no recourse for consumers, these bills virtually guarantee the status quo: extremely limited enforcement. Even the FTC and state AGs have said giving them more enforcement power without commensurate resources is a waste of time.

A good example of why opt-out does not work as a basis for anti-spam action; it permits every single potential sender to still spam you once, in full legality -- what's been called the 'one bite of the apple' problem.

Given that (as Ray says) there's 23 million small businesses in the US, that's a potential 23 million spams to your email address, and 23 million 'remove' requests you'd have to send to unsubscribe -- every three years, to boot. Full open letter from CAUCE here.

Cat Murderer

My cat has turned into a murderer. For the last week, he's been going out and bagging 1-2 wild animals per day; mostly rabbits, but some voles and a finch too.

It's really wrecking my head. I don't have the nuts to kill a half-dead rabbit in cold blood, so I wind up leaving them in the bushes to die; and I'm sure that's exactly what happens to most of 'em. The other day I had to fish out a dead baby rabbit, put it in a plastic bag, and dump it in the bin.

Maybe I should leave them out for the hawks. There's a pretty big peregrine and red-tailed hawk population around here.

Alternatively, maybe some cat transformation sets would help... at least around the house: 'The cat which became a hood figure is likely to have a broom at any moment, and is likely to begin cleaning.'

Bonus: via jwz:

‘Shooting The Messenger’

Yoz does a great job rounding up some Plan For Spam links. First off, he links to a great essay, Shooting The Messenger, which nicely rebuts the idea that to deal with spam, we need an SMTPng. Recommended. (He goes a bit overboard with some hard-ass filtering recommendations at the end IMO, though...)

Secondly, Yoz links to a couple more posts. The first is a friendly-fire incident involving the SpamCop DNS blacklists, illustrating the dangers of peer-to-peer 'this is spam' reporting. There's a related issue with the SpamCop DNSBL, in that it's over-sensitive; one report can sometimes be enough to get a site BLed, which is not good. The problems with SpamCop's hair-trigger thresholds are well-documented, and -- hopefully -- Julian will fix them soon.

The second is a mail from John Gilmore to Politech. He says 'a simple rule for anti-spam measures that preserves non-spammers' freedom to communicate is: No anti-spam measure should ever block a non-spam message. But there isn't a single anti-spam organization that actually follows this rule.'

Wrong. That's exactly the SpamAssassin angle. If the user says it's not spam, it's not spam -- and we have to figure out a way to get our scoring system to return that result, if at all possible. And yes, it gets it wrong about 0.1% of the time -- and that's why we never tell users to block, bounce or delete spam if at all possible; just mark it 'possible spam' and divert to another folder, and always let a human take a look to verify that decision.

Given the nature of the spam problem, and the nuisance it poses to virtually everybody trying to use email, that's the best that can be done at this point.

And yes, something has to be done. Spam is a massive problem. If it's not dealt with somehow, and kept out of our day-to-day inboxes, people will stop using mail. Before spam filters became ubiquitous, I talked to many casual internet users who (a) closed down their email address every 6 months to escape the flood, or (b) gave up reading their mail because of it. (And why did spam filters become ubiquitous?)

It comes down to: what's better for the internet -- a mislabelled email in your 'spam bucket' folder -- or no email at all?

valid reverse DNS now required to mail an AOL user

Given that something like 8.13% of of the hosts that have sent non-spam mail to me do not have reverse DNS information recorded, the fact that AOL have just switched this on as a requirement will be interesting:

: jm ftp 1019...; dig aol.com mx
aol.com.                3559    IN      MX      15 mailin-01.mx.aol.com.
mailin-01.mx.aol.com.   92      IN      A       152.163.224.26
...
: jm ftp 1020...; telnet 152.163.224.26 25
Trying 152.163.224.26...
Connected to 152.163.224.26.
Escape character is '^]'.
220-rly-za01.mx.aol.com ESMTP mail_relay_in-za1.6; Thu, 22 May 2003
15:09:54 -0400
220-America Online (AOL) and its affiliated companies do not
220-     authorize the use of its proprietary computers and computer
220-     networks to accept, transmit, or distribute unsolicited bulk
220-     e-mail sent from the internet.  Effective immediately:  AOL 
220-     may no longer accept connections from IP addresses which 
220      have no reverse-DNS (PTR record) assigned.
^]
telnet> q
Connection closed.

Breakthrough in photonics

New Scientist: Alchemy with light shocks physicists:

Claims of 'unexpected and stunning new physical phenomena' are rare in the abstract of a reputable scientific paper. But the latest report by photonics crystal pioneer John Joannopoulos and his group at MIT, soon to be published in Physical Review Letters, does not disappoint.

The researchers document the ultimate control over light: a way to shift the frequency of light beams to any desired colour, with near 100 per cent efficiency. 'The degree of control over light really is quite shocking,' comments photonics expert Eli Yablonovitch at the University of California, Los Angeles.

If the effect can be harnessed, it will revolutionise a range of fields - turning heat into light, for example, or prized terahertz rays. Right now, the only way to shift the frequency of a light beam involves sending an extremely intense light pulse - with a power of many megawatts or even gigawatts - along next to it.

This interacts with the first beam and alters its frequency, but the technique is expensive, requires high-power equipment, and is generally pretty inefficient. But when Joannopoulos and his colleagues Evan Reed and Marin Soljacic investigated what happens when shock waves pass through a device called a photonic crystal, they discovered a completely unexpected effect.

I'm just posting this because I like the word 'photonics' ;) But this is apparently really cool new tech.

Escher Meets The Flower Show, Little Elves, and W3C on Patents

BBC: How does Dyson make water go uphill? A very cool hack from a Dyson engineer for the Chelsea Flower Show -- an M. C. Escher-influenced water feature which gives the illusion that the water is flowing uphill.

A set of four glass ramps positioned in a square clearly show water travelling up each of them before it pours off the top, only to start again at the bottom of the next ramp.

It is a sight which defies logic, and has become probably the most memorable image of this year's show.

Mr Dyson says his inspiration was a drawing by the Dutch artist MC Escher (he of Gothic palaces where soldiers are eternally walking upstairs, and of patterns where birds turn into fish).

Privacy: Danny forwards this post which discusses what the poster calls the 'little elves' problem. Very good point and contains this great real-world example:

Peter Wright in 'Spycatcher' ... describes one of the problems arising out of the Berlin Tunnel Operation thus: 'So much raw intelligence was flowing out from the East that it was literally swamping the resources available to transcribe (and translate) and analyse it. MI6 had a special transcription center set up in Earl's Court, but they were still transcribing material seven years later when they discovered that George Blake had betrayed the Tunnel to the Russians from the outset'.

Funnily enough, I have the same problem -- a lack of processing power to deal with the raw incoming volume -- with my spamtraps from time to time. Now I can describe it in terms of 'little elves'.

Patents: W3C announce patent policy. They've decided on Royalty-Free as a requirement, good news. TimBL's comments on the decision:

Many participants in the original development of the Web knew that they might have sought patents on the work they contributed to W3C, and that they might have tried to secure exclusive access to these innovations or charge licensing fees for their use. However, those who contributed to building the Web in its first decade made the business decision that they, and the entire world, would benefit most by contributing to standards that could be implemented ubiquitously, without royalty payments.

This decision on the W3C Patent Policy coincides almost exactly with the tenth anniversary of CERN's decision to provide unencumbered access to the basic Web protocols and software developed there, even before the creation of W3C. In fact, the success of technical work at the World Wide Web Consortium depended significantly on that decision by CERN. The decision to base the Web on royalty-free standards from the beginning has been vital to its success until now. The open platform of royalty-free standards enabled software companies to profit by selling new products with powerful features, enabled e-commerce companies to profit from services that on this foundation, and brought social benefits in the non-commercial realm beyond simple economic valuation. By adopting this Patent Policy with its commitment to royalty-free standards for the future, we are laying the foundation for another decade of technical innovation, economic growth, and social advancement.

Quite. I remember seeing Mosaic for the first time -- my first thought was 'wow, it's like those commercial hypertext systems, but it's free'. Initially, the free-ness was a lot more important than the network transparency it also offered.

There had already been several commercial hypertext systems, with expensive licensing terms. I'd only ever seen them bundled with other products (like the AIX documentation viewer) or used in kiosk systems.

They pretty much foundered when HTTP and HTML became available. But there's no question to my mind that if CERN had made HTTP/HTML a commercial, licensed, or royalty-paying proposition, we wouldn't even be talking about the web (or should I say the 'WWW'?) nowadays.

The national ‘Do Not Call’ list

(of the phone variety). I've been driven mad by telemarketers; one of the more irritating local innovations (thankfully 'sales cold calls' are pretty hard to operate with European privacy laws, so it wasn't a problem back home).

Well, Congress over here recently passed a 'do not call' list, so you could ring up the maintainers and ask for your number to be added, and hey presto, no more phone spam. Well, CalPundit writes:

The federal law doesn't cover banks, airlines or phone companies or calls made within a state.

Wow. That's like saying 'the law doesn't cover calls made on a day ending in 'y'.' In my experience, those companies make 95% of the calls. Great.

Think I'll stick with the tried-and-trusted 'ring through to answerphone during the afternoon and early evening' filter...

DMCA: IP: Using treaties to lock in DMCA enforcement:

On May 6, President Bush and Prime Minister Goh of Singapore signed the U.S.-Singapore Free Trade Agreement (the 'FTA'). President Bush has termed the FTA 'the first of its kind' - apparently meaning that it is the first free trade agreement between the United States and an Asian nation.

But the FTA is also the first of its kind in another sense, as well. It is the first international trade agreement to demand that the signatories implement anti-circumvention provisions similar to those of the hotly controversial Digital Millennium Copyright Act ('DMCA').

It's Naomi Klein meets Slashdot ;) Hopefully it'll be blocked though, since it has serious domestic results too:

This step will have international, as well as domestic consequences: If Congress approves the FTA, it will not able to alter the DMCA without violating its obligations to Singapore.

Of course, according to some correspondents, Ireland's copyright regime (reformed in 2000) quietly inserted its own DMCA provisions. Of course, nobody noticed, except for the legal lobbyists who were hoping this would happen. Doh. Is nowhere safe for freedom-to-tinker these days?

The 419ers Meet Their Match

Scam-O-Rama: Absolutely incredible. These guys have taken the art of 419er-baiting to the ultimate extreme -- they're successfully extracting money from the 'Lads from Lagos':

Wow. Also this IDG.NET story notes:

There's an odd battle building in the dark alleys and byways of the Internet, being fought by diverse characters such as Dr. Sigmund Freud, Kris Kringle, the late Princess Margaret, a German-Hungarian gypsy called Hans Gneesunt-Boompsadazi, a Chinese restaurateur called Hu Flung Dung, and the Patagonian Liberation Front. ....

In what is regarded as the Titanic of the genre ... three bogus explorers called Captain Stabbin, Lonslo Tossov and Ilichy Miracsky, in their equally fictitious boat 'The Lucky Lad', kept a gang of Lads on the run for several months with clowning exploits describing their supposed passage up and down the West African coast, failing to meet the Lads on several occasions for a variety of improbable reasons.

Eventually the good captain pulled the plug on the reverse scam, informing the lads in no uncertain terms that they were 'mugus' -- a word used in Nigeria to denote an utter idiot.

I came across this while looking for info on the practice of signing guestbooks as Mugu Guyman. One theory I've heard is that means a 419er has visited the guestbook, scraped the email addresses for 419 fraud, and it's a sign for other 419ers to keep away from those addresses as they're already 'taken'. As the quote says above, 'Mugu' is apparently a term meaning something along the lines of 'gullible idiot'. Most of the comments seem to support this:

  • 'me i done here mugu mugu off'
  • 'TOGO GUYMEN KEEP OFF FROM THIS SITE I DEY HERE LAGOS ?TOGO GHANA GUYMEN MUGU NO DEY HERE'
  • 'Avary good site pls all guyman keep off,oooooooooooooooooo.'

Then, a few seem to indicate that it's a sign to other 419ers not to spam those addresses while a scam is in progress:

  • 'south africa, jo bong, mugu guyman kindly keep offoooooooooooooo someone have visitedooooooooooooooo and still waiting for reply ok'
  • 'VERY HICE ALL MUGU GUYMAN KEEP OFF IT HAS BEEN DONE PLEASE DON,T SPOIL JOB FOR I DONO DO ALL0000000000000000000000000000000000000'

Dunno what all the oooooooooing is about though... ;)

Guinness Really IS Good For You

New Scientist: The Last Word: 'Q: I have heard that it is possible to live on Guinness and milk alone. Is this true, or even partially true?'

'A: This is not quite true. Guinness does contain many vitamins and minerals in small quantities, but is lacking vitamin C, as well as calcium and fat. So, to fulfil all of your daily nutritional requirements you would need to drink a glass of orange juice, two glasses of milk, and 47 pints of Guinness. -- Nigel Goodwin , University of Nottingham'

No problem!

The ‘Private Jessica Lynch’ Spectacle

Karlin posts a good story on the whole 'rescue of Private Jessica Lynch' story. Great quote:

Further, British military Group Captain Al Lockwood, the British Army spokesman at central command in Iraq, says that the British could not believe the pandering way in which the US military dealt with the US media, culminating in the Lynch episode, and the gushing, unquestioning acceptance of same by the US media. 'In reality we had two different styles of news media management,' said Lockwood. 'I feel fortunate to have been part of the UK one.'

Guardian story here:

The American strategy was to concentrate on the visuals and to get a broad message out. Details - where helpful - followed behind. The key was to ensure the right television footage. The embedded reporters could do some of that. On other missions, the military used their own cameras, editing the film themselves and presenting it to broadcasters as ready-to-go packages. The Pentagon had been influenced by Hollywood producers of reality TV and action movies.

One interesting result is that, while the US media (or TV at least) is happy to spew this pabulum, for some reason, these days, most other media outlets world-wide are a bit more likely to apply a critical eye, suspecting spin.

No matter whether it's true or not, excessive media management (or filming of action movies ;) over flimsy stories is quickly exposed. This promulgates the impression world-wide that the wool is being pulled over the viewers' eyes, and that the source of the news is fundamentally telling fibs.

SCO’s strong-arm tactics

In case you missed it -- SCO's letter to Linux customers. Executive summary:

  • open-source code development methodology bashing, to start with
  • SCO will 'suspend their own Linux-related activities', whatever they were
  • all users of Linux are vaguely threatened in a 'cartooney' fashion
  • 'Similar to analogous efforts underway in the music industry, we are prepared to take all actions necessary to stop the ongoing violation of our intellectual property or other rights.'

Classy! And a bonus good point from a comment on this LJ article: 'According to this article, SCO Linux 4.0 contains version 2.4.19 of the Linux kernel. ... By the act of distributing the Linux 2.4.19 kernel, SCO has irrevocably released any and all of their intellectual property present in the 2.4.19 kernel under the (terms of the) GPL.'

Chris Horn back on top in Iona

my ex-employers, IONA Technologies Announces Chris Horn as CEO -- again:

In a series of further moves, Mr. Barry Morris, CEO since May 2000, Mr. Steven Fisch, COO, who joined the company in August 2002, and Mr. David James, Executive Vice President Corporate Development, who joined in 1997, have resigned.

'The Board of IONA Technologies is responding firmly to the challenges and opportunities of the changed marketplace, to position the company for profitable growth and to take advantage of market opportunities through business and new product development. I want to thank Barry, Steven and David for their enormous contributions to IONA and I wish them well in their next challenges,' said Dr. Chris Horn.

Good to hear it!

Microsoft using cloak-and-dagger tactics to fend off Linux

Ah, some good old-fashioned sleazy MS stuff:

Chris O'Rourke, a Microsoft employee, described attending LinuxWorld, a trade fair in California, where he 'purported to be an independent computer consultant' working with several public school districts, according to an e-mail message he sent on Aug. 20, 2002. 'In general, people bought this without question,' Mr. O'Rourke wrote. 'Hook, line and sinker.'

He said his goal was to glean intelligence about the competition. His guise, Mr. O'Rourke said, 'got folks to open up and talk.' Mr. O'Rourke did not respond to a fax and voice mail message seeking comment.

Hilarious -- if you can't beat 'em, send in the clowns. Via the NYT.

Telecoms sans Frontieres

Salam Pax blogs about an interesting NGO:

I have heard today that a NGO called Communication sans frontiers has arrived in Iraq and will help. They will probably be doing what the Red Cross is doing, a center in Baghdad and a team moving around Iraq. The Red Cross has been moving its phone service, if you can call it that, around Baghdad. Two days for each district and they depend on the word of mouth to spread the news, usually they end up with huge lines and waiting lists but everybody is grateful. Many people have no way telling their relatives abroad how they are doing. A couple of Arabic TV stations, mainly Jazeera, has been putting their cameras in the street and allowing people to send regards to their relatives abroad, tell them they are OK hoping that they would be watching at the time. So what the Red Cross has been doing, and I think what Communication sans frontiers would ultimately be doing is much appreciated.

According to this comment on the command-post.org blog, it's actually called Telecoms Sans Frontieres:

Telecoms sans Frontieres has created a new humanitarian aid concept: the humanitarian telephone system. TSF's mission is to operate anywhere in the world, in the heart of military conflicts or in the wake of natural disasters, in order to enable the local population to simply say: I'm alive.

Now there's a cool idea for any BOFHs who fancy doing some interesting volunteer work for a year... ;)

Ali G in the NYT

A classic Ali G moment, via Maureen Dowd in the New York Times (username: sitescooper/sitescooper):

  • YOUNG MAN: How does you make countries do stuff you want?
  • MR. BAKER: Well, the way you deal with countries on foreign policy issues . . . is you deal with carrots and sticks.
  • YOUNG MAN: But what country is gonna want carrots, even if it's like a million tons of carrots that you're giving over there----
  • MR. BAKER: Well, carrots -- I'm not using the term literally. You might send foreign aid -- money, money.
  • YOUNG MAN: Well, money's better than carrots. Even if a country love carrots and that is, like, their favorite national food, if they get given them----
  • MR. BAKER: Well, don't get hung up on carrots. That's just a figure of speech.
  • YOUNG MAN: So would you ever send carrots? You know, is there any situation----
  • MR. BAKER: No, no.
  • YOUNG MAN: What about if there was a famine?
  • MR. BAKER: Carrots, themselves? No.

Beautiful.

Initially, there were a lot of media reports in the UK and Ireland, about how negatively it was taken in the US; this interview with the director reckons that was rubbish put about by UK media:

'I've got a theory about this: In Britain, we're no longer world leaders in anything. ... Yet the one thing we still maintain, and cling on to jealously, is that we've got the best sense of humour in the world. So we don't like the idea that people in other countries get our sense of humour. We prefer to cling to the idea that our comedy is too sophisticated for the Americans And yet the truth is rather different. If you look at sitcoms, with a couple of exceptions, all the best ones come from America, like Friends, Frasier, Seinfeld and so on.'

'I actually think Americans get the undertones of satire almost better than the British. It can't be coincidence that the best comedies on our TV are all imported from America.'

But then even the bad reviews never said that Ali G was too sophisticated, complaining instead that the satire wasn't subtle enough. Maybe the Americans are the more comedy-literate, after all.