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BBC's "The Experiment", a recreation of the Stanford prison experiment, has been halted:

it is clear the participants - particularly those selected to be 'prisoners' rather than 'guards' - were placed under severe levels of stress. Friends of some who took part in the programme .. said that it was more gruelling than they had been expecting.

So, what were they expecting, exactly?

Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2002 09:46:58 -0000
From: "Tim Chapman" (spam-protected)
To: forteana (spam-protected)
Subject: Stanford Experiment redux

http://media.guardian.co.uk/bbc/story/0,7521,638266,00.html

BBC halts 'prison experiment'

Matt Wells, media correspondent

Thursday January 24, 2002

The Guardian

When the BBC revealed it was to replicate for television the notorious Stanford experiment, when university students were "imprisoned" to study responses to solitude and oppression, executives said that it would not repeat the brutality of the original.

While the BBC version was approached with far more caution than the 1971 model, which was terminated after six days when the participants' behaviour had degenerated, it appears to have met a similar fate.

Scientists overseeing the BBC project became concerned that the 15 participants' emotional and physical wellbeing was in danger of being compromised, and called a halt before it was due to end.

There is no suggestion that any of the volunteers, incarcerated in a "prison" constructed at Elstree studios in Hertfordshire, came to any lasting harm or that their experiences went beyond what they had been led to expect.

But it is clear the participants - particularly those selected to be "prisoners" rather than "guards" - were placed under severe levels of stress. Friends of some who took part in the programme, called The Experiment and due to be televised on BBC2 in the spring, said that it was more gruelling than they had been expecting.

When the BBC advertised for participants last year, it was clear that The Experiment would be no ordinary documentary. Headed "Do you really know yourself?" the advert asked for volunteers who would take part in a "university-backed social science experiment to be shown on TV", and warned that successful candidates would be exposed to "exercise, tasks, hardship, hunger, solitude and anger".

Only men were asked to apply, money was not offered, and there was no suggestion that participation would lead to fame. Instead, the producers - from the BBC's factual programmes department, not the entertainment division

  • promised it would "change the way you think".

The BBC experiment was overseen by two psychologists: Alex Haslam from Exeter University; and Stephen Reicher from St Andrews. An independent "ethical committee" also monitored the project. This committee, it is thought, in consultation with the psychol-ogists, made the decision to terminate the experiment, due to last 10 days, after eight or nine. Philip Zimbardo, who oversaw the original Stanford experiment and later said it should never be repeated, was sceptical when news of the programme first emerged. At Stanford, the boredom of the guards drove them to abuse the prisoners. This abuse included night strip searches, making prisoners clean the toilets with their hands, and tripping prisoners when they walked past. Some prisoners developed signs of emotional instability. He said last year: "That kind of research is now considered to be unethical and should not be redone just for sensational TV and Survivor-type glamour. I am amazed a British university psychology department would be involved.

"Obviously they are doing the study in the hopes that high drama will be created, as in my original study. If not, it will be boring. If so, how will it be terminated and when?"The BBC said that termination of the experiment proved that its security systems had worked. A spokeswoman said a great deal of useful data had been amassed, and no scientific value was lost.

"It was planned that The Experiment would last 10 days but, aware of the stresses under which volunteers might find themselves, the BBC was always prepared, if necessary, to withdraw individuals or end it early. In the event the psychologists did decide to end the experiment earlier than anticipated, but not before a lot of data had been collected."

"The psychologists are confident that the material they have will change the way we think about the nature of power and powerlessness.''

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The page cannot be fucking displayed (via FoRK):

The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your browser settings, but most likely you're a complete dipshit. You tell your friends you've been online since '94, but Mr. "I've been on the net for 5 years" seems to call me a lot at 2 am in the morning and asking what settings you need to put in your outlook express to get your @home e mail, or how do I send something in icq? My favorite moments from you and your friends are when you send me the "I love you virus" or the e mails I get with the jokes that are so not fucking funny I wanna snap your neck like a twig. No I'm not your personal Microsoft hotline, and when I go to your place for dinner, please dont ask me if I could "Just take a look at something" you've been having trouble with. The next time you tell me you pride yourself on how much you've learned about computers over the years, just know that I'm thinking "Bullshit" over and over in my mind ya prick.

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Megalithic Sound and Landscape: A research project to investigate whether ancient monuments were built with acoustic effects in mind, and how they related to the landscape around them. (via nutlog)

I've heard of similar theories before, and IMO there's a lot of weight there. Every megalithic monument (well, enclosed ones like caves and barrow graves) in my experience have had great acoustic qualities, and it seems to make sense that in an oral society this would be very important. It's one of my minor obsessions ;)

BTW, ObIrishness: Newgrange is significantly older than Stonehenge: Newgrange was built around 3200BC, Stonehenge about 1000 years later. na na na nah.

However, Stonehenge is the subject of a rocking Tap tune. More Tap:

Nigel: We saw the film that everyone else saw and we were quite upset because it was not a depiction that was accurate. You see someone like Derek not getting out of the pod. Most nights...

Derek: Every night!

Nigel: Well, 80 percent of the time...

Derek: But you don't see that.

Nigel: What they choose to show...

David: They chose to show a time when we couldn't get Derek out of the bloody pod.

Nigel: The night there was some mechanical misfunction and we become the brunt of a joke, and not the smooth act that we really were.

David: Skew, eschew...

Nigel: Basically, it's all twisted. "Let me go into my little editing room and twist."

Derek: What do they call that, McCarthyism?

David: It's called McCarthyism.

Nigel: Charlie McCarthyism.

Derek: I call it DiBergiism.

Nigel: This Is Marty DiBergi should have been the name of the movie.

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Slashdot gets all hot and bothered about a 'free energy' hoax. The story in question is titled Irish Inventor Says Cracks World's Energy Needs, which, despite having some awful grammar, contains a clue right there: Irish.

The whole point of the story is the Irishness -- if it was a USAnian inventor, there would be no story, because there'd be no blarney crap like this:

If the Jasker men really are onto something, it could be the most important Irish invention since Guinness.

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The days of touch-tone hell are numbered: AT&T's new natural-language-recognition system will fix everything. Aye right, as they say.

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002 06:50:46 -0600
From: "Webmaster" (spam-protected)
To: "Forteana" (spam-protected)
Subject: The days of touch-tone hell might be numbered

http://www.startribune.com/stories/789/1109766.html

AT&T's new help service allows customers to speak freely

Kevin Coughlin

Newhouse News Service

Published Jan 21 2002

The days of touch-tone hell might be numbered.

AT&T gradually is rolling out a new help service to speed customers through the maddening maze of menus -- "Press five for more baffling options" -- that make simple calls an exercise in aggravation.

"How may I help you?" a computer now asks long-distance customers who call with problems.

And four times out of five, according to AT&T, the system actually understands them -- whether they say "This charge is wrong," or "You guys screwed up my bil l."

Then it zips them to the right menu, or to a real person. If the machine's not sure, it asks.

This is the new field of natural-language understanding, in which computers str ive to go beyond recognizing words, to grasp their meaning.

"Natural language, as opposed to speech recognition, is a big deal," said Nigel Beck of IBM Voice Systems. T. Rowe Price is using an IBM system that talks wit h customers based on a 250,000-word vocabulary and 33,000 finance-related phras es, Beck said.

"Natural-language systems are right where the frontier is in call routing," sai d James Flanagan, director of the Rutgers Center for Advanced Information Proce ssing.

'Voice tone' on the way

Researchers at AT&T Labs in Florham Park, N.J., say that "How may I help you?" is a precursor to "voice tone." Before long, they say, folks will scrap telepho ne touchpads, computer keyboards and TV remotes, and simply tell their devices what to do.

Like "Star Trek." Or the Bell System, circa 1900.

In those days, said Jay Wilpon, manager for speech processing at the labs, cust omers told an operator what they wanted.

"Now, the onus is on you to figure out how to navigate information using 12 but tons on the telephone," Wilpon lamented.

Once the kinks are worked out, AT&T plans to retire its numbered menus. Then it might repackage "How may I help you?" for other industries. Imagine airline sc hedules, restaurant listings or weather reports without having to speak in code , as most computerized phone systems now require.

"You don't have to say any magic words," said Douglas Shurts, who oversees the AT&T program. "We have taught the computer to understand what customers are say ing, and how they are saying it."

In the future, AT&T Labs aims to perfect a wireless computer tablet that respon ds to spoken or scribbled queries for directions and listings.

"How may I help you?" is possible largely thanks to faster computers and expand ing databases.

Speedy computers now test software in minutes instead of months. Vast databases "teach" the machines hundreds of thousands of words, plus expressions culled f rom thousands of actual customer calls.

Conversational difficulty

Since 1992, AT&T has used voice recognition to route billions of collect and ca lling-card calls, saving the company up to $300 million a year. Callers are pro mpted what to say, and the computer listens for those words, a technique called "word spotting."

But following conversations is much harder for machines. They trip over "ums," "ahems," choppy grammar and colloquial expressions.

AT&T's system ignores most of what's said, listening for about 3,200 words that pertain to phone issues such as billing and directory assistance. From combina tions of these words, as learned from actual conversations, it attempts to glea n a caller's intent.

"You're never going to get 60 million people to talk the way you want them to t alk. For us, 'natural' is the way our customers talk," said Allen Gorin, natura l-language guru at AT&T Labs.

"The crux of that is: Collect a large amount of data about what people actually say, learn what the salient phrases are and decipher the meaning of those. It' s a mathematical and machine-learning problem," he said.

Tests began about five years ago with 30,000 U.S. customers, and a national rol lout in selected markets began in August. The service is not yet available for business or international customers and works only from phones the network reco gnizes as AT&T residential customers.

Shurts said AT&T wants to make sure everything is up to speed. So far, so good.

Complaints about customer service are down 65 percent since the program was lau nched, Shurts said. He said it's one-third more accurate than the old system, w here callers had to grope through as many as five automated menus and 25 choice

The new service shaves off about 30 seconds, he said, and ascertains the caller 's intent about 80 percent of the time.

A spokesman said this might thin the ranks of customer service representatives, through attrition, but he said the goal is to free them up for tough calls.

The program still stumbles over accents, odd expressions and background noises. Wireless and cable-TV calls were puzzling, too, at first.

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Hmm. I think I've just fixed a bug in WebMake which was screwing up dependencies and change detection on this blog. Let's see...

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The Onion seems to be back on form:

Confused Marines Capture Al-Jazeera Leader

DOHA, QATAR-- In a daring effort to dismantle the vast Arab network, a company of confused Marines raided Al-Jazeera headquarters Monday and captured leader Mohammed Abouzeid. "Al-Jazeera has ties to virtually every country in the Arab world, and this guy was the key to their whole operation," Lt. Warren Withers said. "Nothing went through the Al-Jazeera communications array without his go-ahead."

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Happy 2nd birthday to Boing Boing! Mark and Cory get big linky points, every day. Dunno how they do it.

To help celebrate, I've given 'em top billing on my daily reading list above (new feature!)

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Hmm. WTF is this "WAR ON THE WORLD - I FORESAW IT" crap? The ghost in the WebMake machine? Sounds like a Pravda headline to me.

Ah well, since I'm about to go off travelling for 4 months it's unlikely I'm going to get to fix it ;)

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Adobe's AlterCast is attracting some attention from the CMS community:

AlterCast is imaging server software designed to integrate with existing content management systems and help maintain the ocean of graphics used in e-commerce sites like Amazon.com and Outpost.com. It automates the creation and repurposing of pictures and eliminates the repetitive nature of tweaking and reformatting them for various needs.

AlterCast is installed on a server (Sun Solaris or Windows NT/2000) and scripts are created by developers so that key layers of Photoshop documents can be edited dynamically from within the user interface. Scripts can be developed to handle almost any need. A single image can be repurposed for high resolution print, Web optimization, and even wireless devices. Creative scripting can weasel its way in too. A script could be created so that after someone has visited a product three times on a site, a special starburst appears over the image that says, "Now 52 percent less!" just to close the deal.

It would, of course, be a piece of piss to write a WebMake plugin which uses the Gimp's perl bindings to do this.

Also worth noting is that Roxen supports this out-of-the-box with the <gtext> and <gh> tags.

All Adobe have added is some commercial polish (always welcome though) and bindings to the PSD doc format. Presumably they'll probably add some built-in support in Photoshop, too.

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From the IrelandOffline forum, (Irish premier Bertie) Ahern in bid to beat telecoms threat to economy:

Mr Ahern said Ireland is lagging

saik said:

bertie is in with the online gaming massive

LOL. The real Bertie quotes are here.

It's good to see the government finally doing something when Ireland came in 27th out of 30 OECD countries in a recent survey on access to broadband, but I'll believe this when I see it happening. A leaked document is not a policy statement, especially when there's an election coming up.

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Just got a mail about SpamAssassin from Aaron Swartz, noted RDF guy. He runs a very interesting blog called swhack, which I've seen cited before, but never visited for some reason. Now I have, and it's on the bookmarks list ;)

Anyway, the main reason for blogging this is this blog item about a story called Darwin Goes Digital, which is quite a nice intro to genetic programming:

... genetic programming (GP) , developed over the last decade by John Koza and his colleagues at Stanford University. Instead of starting with a set of guesses for the solution to a problem, GP begins with guesses for the actual method that best solves the problem. These are usually stated as random groups of instructions written in Lisp, a programming language able to cope with the cross-breeding and mutation demanded by the GP approach.

Interestingly though, the first time I heard about GP-style techniques was in Tierra, Tom Ray's Darwinian OS:

The Tierra C source code creates a virtual computer and its Darwinian operating system, whose architecture has been designed in such a way that the executable machine codes are evolvable. This means that the machine code can be mutated (by flipping bits at random) or recombined (by swapping segments of code between algorithms), and the resulting code remains functional enough of the time for natural (or presumably artificial) selection to be able to improve the code over time.

Along with the C source code which generates the virtual computer, we provide several programs written in the assembler code of the virtual computer. Some of these were written by a human and do nothing more than make copies of themselves in the RAM of the virtual computer. The others evolved from the first, and are included to illustrate the power of natural selection.

This system results in the production of synthetic organisms based on a computer metaphor of organic life in which CPU time is the ``energy" resource and memory is the ``material" resource. Memory is organized into informational patterns that exploit CPU time for self-replication. Mutation generates new forms, and evolution proceeds by natural selection as different genotypes compete for CPU time and memory space.

Diverse ecological communities have emerged. These digital communities have been used to experimentally examine ecological and evolutionary processes: e.g., competitive exclusion and coexistence, host/parasite density dependent population regulation, the effect of parasites in enhancing community diversity, evolutionary arms race, punctuated equilibrium, and the role of chance and historical factors in evolution. This evolution in a bottle may prove to be a valuable tool for the study of evolution and ecology.

It was very exciting to see artificial evolution techniques actually work in this way, as if operating on a real genotype (have to be careful w.r.t. terminology here, Catherine's a zoologist and gets very peeved about this stuff). Unfortunately, Tierra development seems to have stalled since then.

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Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung: The Satanic visitation that began with a bloody killing on July 6 ended prematurely for Manuela Ruda and her husband, Daniel Ruda:

She says they went to cemeteries at night, climbed around ruins, talked about this and that, and drank blood -- their own blood, or that from so-called givers. Would-be drinkers of blood can find willing givers on the Internet, Mrs. Ruda says, explaining: "You just have to be careful not to hit an artery." Givers are happy to offer their arms or legs for a bite, she says.

According to her story, it was around this time that she had her incisors removed and replaced with longer, sharper implanted teeth identical to those seen in vampire films. She dedicated her soul to the service of Satan and swore to accept his "every word" as law. Mrs. Ruda says she tried therapy but stopped, out of fear that she would be locked up if she revealed what she was really like.

Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002 14:57:37 -0800
From: Brian Chapman (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected) (spam-protected)
Subject: Murder Suspects Express Sympathy for the Devil

http://www.faz.com/IN/INtemplates/eFAZ/docmain.asp?rub={B1311FCC-FBFB-11D2-B228-00105A9CAF88}&doc={617FC000-5325-4826-85A7-C4ACB7D25F59}

Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung | 18 Jan 2002

Murder Suspects Express Sympathy for the Devil

By Karin Truscheit

BOCHUM. The Satanic visitation that began with a bloody killing on July 6 ended prematurely for Manuela Ruda and her husband, Daniel Ruda.

Plan A, Plan B and Plan C all failed. After they beat Frank Hackerts to death with a hammer and stabbed his body several dozen times, Plan A was to slash their own wrists, they say. Plan B was to drive to Denmark, get a gun and shoot themselves. Plan C was to fill up the trunk with diesel fuel canisters and then have a head-on collision with a truck.

All three suicide plans failed because, as the couple say, Satan chose to end his possession of them too soon. Instead of dying, the couple ended up driving back and forth across Germany. They changed tires, withdrew some money from a bank in Hannover and headed east.

The couple finally ended up in the hands of the police, who arrested them on July 12 in Jena, a city in the eastern state of Thuringia. Six months later, the Rudas are on trial in the western city of Bochum, where they are providing detailed descriptions about their motivations for killing Mr. Hackerts.

Everything started out so well. Sometime around last March, Mr. Ruda says he received four numbers in a vision: 6,6,6,7. Their significance was obvious, to him. The couple would marry on June 6, or 6/6. And on the 6th of July, or 6/7, they were to kill themselves after first carrying out a "sacrifice" to the dark lord. The purpose of the marriage was to guarantee legally that "our remains could be buried together." As for sacrificing a victim to Satan, whom they both claim to serve, the couple had been toying with the idea for some time.

Choosing the victim was easy. Mr. Ruda's coworker, Mr. Hackerts, known to his friends as Hacki, "was always so funny" and therefore seemed like the perfect candidate for "court jester" to the dark lord, according to a written statement by Mr. Ruda, 26.

Mr. Hackerts, 33, was anything but a Satanist. A "nice guy," he maintained contact with the couple after many other people refused to associate with them. Together with Mr. Ruda, he sold car accessories at a parts dealer in Herten, a city located just north of Bochum in the state of North Rhine-Westphalia. Mr. Ruda apparently succeeded so well in separating his private from professional life that no one at the store wondered about any thoughts, desires or fantasies he might have had while selling bumpers and side mirrors.

Allowing a glance into his emotional world, Mr. Ruda wrote in his statement that he realized at an early age that he was Satan's messenger of death. He hated people, and things like embraces disgusted him, the statement says. After original "visions" at the age of 13 or 14, he began to explore the dark side of his soul and later had fantasies of slaughtering people and "bloody dreams," as he wrote in the confession. He discovered "religious deviations" and the Satanist bible, then took out a classified ad in a scene magazine. Manuela answered it.

They met and liked each other. It was a "harmony of souls," says Mr. Ruda in the statement, which stresses that he rejects the "terrestrial lust" of sex.

Mrs. Ruda, 23, also says she discovered her brand of Satanism at a very early age. Elementary school was normal, but she dropped out after the 10th grade because "the others" could not deal with her and she could not deal with them. Deciding she did not fit into this world, she tried to give herself "an overdose of H," heroin, at age 14.

It did not work. She took a few jobs and went to demonstrations "against everything." She traveled to Scotland in 1996 and spent some time in London, where she discovered a club visited by "vampires" and other people. She could tell they were vampires because they were "extremely sensitive to light." Returning to Germany in 1997, she worked at cafs and led an increasingly isolated life, studying "chaos magic" and preferring the company of vampires and their friends.

She says they went to cemeteries at night, climbed around ruins, talked about this and that, and drank blood -- their own blood, or that from so-called givers. Would-be drinkers of blood can find willing givers on the Internet, Mrs. Ruda says, explaining: "You just have to be careful not to hit an artery." Givers are happy to offer their arms or legs for a bite, she says.

According to her story, it was around this time that she had her incisors removed and replaced with longer, sharper implanted teeth identical to those seen in vampire films. She dedicated her soul to the service of Satan and swore to accept his "every word" as law. Mrs. Ruda says she tried therapy but stopped, out of fear that she would be locked up if she revealed what she was really like.

In the courtroom on Wednesday, she wore black sunglasses to match her black hair as she sat at the defendants' table. The presiding judge allowed her to wear the glasses after rejecting her request that the lights be turned down in the courtroom. Her lawyer asked the court ts be understanding on this point because his client had lived nocturnally and slept during the day. And her chosen place of sleep was usually a coffin.

In the courtroom, she revealed plenty of tattooed skin and posed for photographers like an ill-tempered movie star, raising her hand in a "devil's sign" for the next day's newspapers.

As the trial proceeded, the court heard the details of the crime spelled out in the defendants' confessions. Mr. Ruda claims that he was already in a mental haze when he went to Mrs. Ruda's apartment in Witten, east of Bochum, last July 6. His perceptions "seemed distant" because Satan had taken over his body, according to the statement. He says he later saw Mr. Hackerts lying on the floor, a pentagram carved in his abdomen, but this was the only thing he says he remembers of that day.

His wife's memory is more detailed. She says the couple spent most of the day "just hanging out." She took a short rest in her coffin before they wrote farewell letters to their family and friends. At 6 p.m., they picked up Mr. Hackerts, whom they had invited to a party at her place. As they entered, she says she felt a "force field" and the presence of "entities."

"We were no longer alone," Mrs. Ruda says.

Satan took possession of them as they sat on the couch, she says. Mr. Ruda got up and left the room. When he returned, surrounded by a "flickering aura," he hit Mr. Hackerts over the head with a hammer, Mrs. Ruda says. Mr. Hackerts staggered to his feet. She says a mysterious light suddenly revealed a knife on the windowsill and a voice gave her the order: "Stab him in the heart!" She grabbed the knife and went to work.

Mr. Hackerts was stabbed 66 times, according to the medical examiner's report. A forensics specialist who testified Thursday said that the couple used many different objects in killing their victim. Police confiscated one short knife, a carpet cutter and a machete. When Mr. Hackerts could no longer move, they used a scalpel to cut a pentagram into his stomach. At that point, "the visitation" came to an end. They packed their things, fled in the car and waited for more orders.

Since Mrs. Ruda would prefer not to answer any questions in court, her lawyer assisted her confession with a few queries designed to reveal her mental state. "What do you say about the prosecution's accusation that you committed an act of murder," the lawyer asked.

"We are not murderers," she replied. "It wasn't meant in a bad way. We wanted to release his soul from the hateful flesh, so that he can serve Satan. It was in his own best interest. We only followed orders."

She insisted that she and her husband liked Mr. Hackerts, and that his killing was nothing personal. "Hacki is still here," she said, although he was no longer visible. Well within view, the victim's parents sat across from her in the court. They showed no emotion as they listened to the woman with the sunglasses talk about their dead son.

A police detective, Franz Sobolewski, gave the court a different view of the couple's actions. He said he interrogated Mrs. Ruda after the couple was arrested in Jena, and that both told police that Mr. Hackerts had been killed with a single blow and that the stabbings were a spontaneous act. Then they sliced open the victim's forearms as a "rehearsal" of their own suicides.

"Suddenly, they realized that killing someone is not that simple, that it was monstrous and brutal," Mr. Sobolewski testified. "They didn't want to repeat that with themselves. They did not have the courage."

During the interrogation, Mrs. Ruda cried because, she said, Satan had abandoned her. At the time, she added that she would gladly take it all back.

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LoTR screenplay summarised:

INT. IAN HOLM'S COMICALLY SMALL HOME

IAN MCKELLEN enters, hitting his head on objects.

IAN HOLM

There you are, you sage old wizard!

They smoke from IAN MCKELLEN'S PIPE.

IAN HOLM (CONT'D)

Ah, Ian, you truly have the finest

weed in Middle Earth.

IAN MCKELLEN

Heh. Both of our names are Ian.

IAN HOLM

Holy shit! You're right!

IAN HOLM falls backwards, laughing hysterically.

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A 'Where are they now?' of UK '80's musicians from the Grauniad. What a mess!

Adam Ant

Remind me: In the early 80s, Adam Ant (real name Stuart Goddard) was a self-styled dandy highwayman. He wore a tricorn hat, brandished a pair of flintlocks, and painted a horizontal white stripe across his nose long before sporting professionals made the same fashion statement. Ant's music borrowed the post-punk fetish for Burundi drumming that made Malcolm McLaren's Bow Wow Wow briefly popular, and was wedded to lyrics that proselytised in favour of dressing up and bigging it up in an unprecedentedly large manner. ...

Where is he now? The secure Alice ward of the Royal Free Hospital in north London, where he is detained for his own protection and the safety of others under section two of the 1983 Mental Health Act.

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New layout. Hope you like it! There seems to be a bit of rogue metadata on the loose that's changing the title to something bizarre, though ;)

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CNN: "A plaque intended to honor black actor James Earl Jones at a Florida celebration of the life of Martin Luther King, instead paid tribute to James Earl Ray, the man who killed the black civil rights leader, officials said Wednesday. ... the erroneous plaque read: " Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive"." Whoops. Not everyone can make that bad a mistake.

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Well, I've just added archives to the blog -- about time too. Hopefully this will help keep http://taint.org/ fresh and sweet-smelling.

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Students describe John Walker as bumbling zealot:

John Walker bumbled his way through his first trip to the Middle East, unwittingly insulting other Muslims and repeatedly getting into trouble with authorities, say those who encountered the Marin teen-ager in Yemen. ...

Josh Mortensen, another student, said from Cairo that Walker asked peers to call him Suleiman, affected a "bogus" Arabic accent and wore traditional Muslim garb unlike that of most Yemenis. Other foreign students at the school mockingly nicknamed him "Yusuf Islam," the name pop singer Cat Stevens took when he became a Muslim and rejected his music career. ...

Islamic experts said that in his naivete, Walker, a baptized Roman Catholic who converted to Islam at 16, fell into a trap so common that Mohammed himself predicted it.

"A person who might have been living a typical happy-go-lucky life and then he really gets very much attracted to the teaching of Islam and its ideal, but then he wants to change overnight - that's what the prophet actually was teaching against," said Jamal Badawi of the Islamic Information Foundation in Halifax, Nova Scotia. "He said, 'Go gently."'

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"A wayward weighing machine that told a woman she was a fat pig and told a man than he was a fat * * * * has been removed from a Melbourne shopping centre." Hmm, hidden keyboard eh?

Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2002 11:55:59 +1000
From: Peter Darben (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: The War on Fat goes High Tech

----- (from The Courier Mail (Brisbane) 16.1.02)

FAT QUIPS ON SCALES WEAR THIN by Kelly Ryan

It was anything but just the ticket.

A wayward weighing macine that told a woman she was a fat pig and told a man than he was a fat * * * * (spaces inserted to keep Rob's ISP happy- pd) has been removed from a Melbourne shopping centre.

Red-faced operators pulled the plug on the renegade scales after furious complaints about offensive comments it added to personal weight details.

The coin-operated scales are programmed to print a person's height, weight and body mass details.

Bruce Hamilton was stunned to read that while his weight was up slightly, the ticket also told him he was a fat * * * *.

The Body Weight Machine was removed at dawn yesterday. Supplier Ian Sargent believes it was maliciously tampered with.

Mr Sargent said tickets usually carried "nice" messages such as "Happy Christmas" or "Happy New Year".

He said it appeared someone had seen a technician use a password to access the hidden keyboard under the pad where the messages were changed.

-----

peter

coming soon - wormman.net . . . the horror . . . the horror

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Joel @ rathergood.com's made a Flash video for Destiny's Child which is worth a look -- you might need knowledge of UKian TV for this one -- http://www.rathergood.com/alf/ . (fwded by Stewart Smith from forteana)

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Japanese youth getting rowdy at their 'coming of age' ceremonies.

Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2002 09:27:32 -0000
From: "Martin Adamson" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Drunken Japanese youths ruin coming of age rituals

The Electronic Telegraph

Drunken Japanese youths ruin coming of age rituals

By Colin Joyce in Tokyo

(Filed: 15/01/2002)

DRUNKEN youths disrupted Japan's annual coming of age ceremonies yesterday, adding to concerns that the younger generation do not share the traditional Japanese values of courtesy and patience.

Japanese women celebrate at the coming of age ceremony in Tokyo The ceremonies are intended to mark the attainment of adulthood by those who turned 20 in the last 12 months. In recent years, however, the events have become a painful annual reminder of the growing gap between the generations.

In Naha city, on the southern island of Okinawa, seven people were arrested after youths drove through a police barricade in an attempt to bring a barrel of sake to the ceremony. Scuffles followed and 200 riot police were eventually deployed.

Takeshi Onaga, the mayor of Naha, said: "These stupid antics really leave me feeling sad and pained."

Older Japanese observed their own coming of age ceremonies in respectful silence. Most recall it as an important rite of passage, though not necessarily because of the ceremony itself.

For many young women it represents the first opportunity to wear their elaborate, and breathtakingly expensive, full kimonos. While most women still wear their kimonos, a large number of the new adults sport hair dyed an orange-blond.

Yesterday, youths cheerfully swigged from huge sake bottles for television cameras, while others gave interviews in the deliberately rough street speech that older Japanese find boorish and inelegant.

Arrests marred ceremonies in several other cities. In Miyazaki, several youths set off firecrackers during the national anthem.

In Aomori, northern Japan, two boys mounted the stage and threw mayonnaise at each other before running off. Elsewhere, speeches were disrupted by hecklers.

It surprises no one that the new adults indulge in some drinking, but older Japanese say that in their day they waited until after the official business before getting drunk.

The Japanese believe that the virtues of respect for other people and patience are what make their society work so there is great disappointment that many youths are unable to sit through the ceremonies without chatting on their mobile telephones.

Sympathisers point out that the ceremonies are typified by boring and lengthy speeches but attempts to liven up events have led to some cringingly embarrassing scenes.

In Urayasu city, outside Tokyo, young people chose to fete their emergence as adults by dancing with Mickey and Minnie Mouse at nearby Disneyland. The generational change may be partly explained by the fact that 20-year-old Japanese today are further than ever before from the trappings of adulthood.

Ninety per cent still live at home and are economically dependent on their parents. A prolonged recession has damned many to low-paying, part-time jobs with little responsibility.

The average age of marriage and parenthood has risen by several years in the space of a generation. A survey showed that three quarters of 20-year-olds do not feel themselves to be adults.

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Lovely user support, a la Smoothwall. One of the /. comments notes:

I have visited irc.smoothwall.org only once. I do feel, however, that my experience there alone was almost enough to discourage my use of the product. I joined the #smoothwall channel in hopes that I might find answers from knowledgable users or developers that I had been unable to find in any of the available documentation (all of which I read in its entirety).

Upon joining the channel, I was bombarded with the omnipresent topic, "Welcome to #smoothwall :: Please do not expect free support if you haven't donated. http://redirect.smoothwall.org/donate "

Ignoring the blatantly anti-open-source sentiment, I proceeded to ask about features and functionality that I feel are paramount to implementation of a device designed to secure my entire network. Before anyone so much as regarded my first question, I was bombarded with "Have you paid yet?" A simple 'not yet' got me my first response: "Can't you read the f**king topc?!"

Of course, I wasn't looking for support -- simply answers to questions about the products capabilities. Off to a great start.

Quite a few of the other comments say pretty much the same thing. IPCop is a fork of the code. Use that instead, I reckon.

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I used to think that geocaching sounded a bit silly -- but after visiting Glenrowan's astonishingly cruddy animatronic-fest that is Ned Kelly's Last Stand, this looks like it would have been a bit of fun by comparison.

The wineries had to suffice instead. Mmmm, booze. And -- very surprisingly for a country town -- Benalla's art gallery was really excellent.

BTW, this bloggage is quite funny about the whole "Ned Kelly Country" thing. Just be thankful he didn't pay the 15 bucks to see Ned Kelly's Last Stand; it's the most overpriced, so-bad-it's-not-even-funny-anymore tourist trap I've ever seen. I have a feeling cgregory would just have chucked a heart attack, there and then.

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Mr Bowron said the hotel was negligent in 'Allowing or permitting the use of pork chops as footwear in circumstances that the defendant knew or should have known that such use would have produced a hidden trap and did so produce such hidden trap'.

Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2002 12:17:44 +1000
From: Peter Darben (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Carrying on like a . . .

----- (from The Daily Telegraph (Sydney) 15.1.02)

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,3591032%255E3163,00.html

Pub sued over greasy floor By LORNA KNOWLES Court Reporter 15jan02

DRUNKEN hotel patron Ross Lucock came up with a novel use for the humble pork chop when the bar manager told him to put his shoes on.

Having just won a meat tray, the prankster strapped two juicy cuts to his feet and paraded around the Jannali Inn, leaving a trail of grease behind him.

About two hours later, another hotel patron, Troy Michael Bowron, walked across the tiled floor and allegedly slipped on pork fat, breaking his arm and shoulder.

The 24-year-old upholsterer is now suing Mr Lucock and the Jannali Inn for more than $260,000 in the NSW District Court.

Mr Bowron alleges the hotel failed to maintain a clean and safe premises for its patrons.

(sig material imminent)

In a statement of claim, Mr Bowron said the hotel was negligent in: "Allowing or permitting the use of pork chops as footwear in circumstances that the defendant knew or should have known that such use would have produced a hidden trap and did so produce such hidden trap".

Mr Bowron told the court he had lost 15 per cent of the use of his left upper arm as a result of the accident.

The Jannali Inn has filed a cross claim against Mr Lucock and Paul Da Costa, a patron it claims pushed Mr Bowron to the ground.

Mr Lucock, 31, admits he strapped the chops to his feet with masking tape, helped by another man in the bar.

He recalled the chop bones cutting into his feet, telling The Daily Telegraph: "I've still got the scars."

"There was a whole series of hijinx that night, a whole crowd of footballers. What happened, happened."

Mr Bowron's barrister Frank Stevens told the court on November 20 1997 a group of drinkers on the second floor of the hotel became rowdy after winning the meat tray.

"It appears there was great joviality among the drinkers . . . following which some person in authority was attracted to that area by the uproar," Mr Stevens said.

"He pointed out to one of the party that in fact he didn't have anything on his feet . . . and certain suggestions were made about what to do.

"One of the party strapped some pork chops, which were in the meat tray, on his feet and he started moving around the area in which the pool tables were situated on the second floor."

Mr Stevens said once handled, pork chops became very greasy.

"Pork fat from the chops became strewn across the floor and made it inherently dangerous for anyone to proceed and walk on that floor," he said.

Mr Stevens sought to amend his client's statement of claim, increasing the damages to $260,000.

Judge Anthony Puckeridge told Mr Lucock, who appeared for himself, that he should find himself a lawyer.

"If I was in your position, the red light would be flashing,'' Judge Puckeridge warned.

The case was adjourned for directions to February 25.

-----

peter

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Wow! Lossy zip compression reduces all files down to 10% or even 0% of their original size! The FAQ:

It utilizes a two-pass bit-sieve to first remove all unimportant data from the data set. Lzip implements this quiet effectively by eliminating all of the 0's. It then sorts the remaining bits into increasing order, and begins searching for patterns. The number of passes in this search is set to (10-N) in lzip, where N is the numeric command-line argument we've been telling you about.

For every pattern of length (10/N) found in the data set, the algorithm makes a mark in its hash table. By keeping the hash table small, we can reduce memory overhead. Lzip uses a two-entry hash table. Then data in this table is then plotted in three dimensions, and a discrete cosine transform transforms it into frequency and amplitude data. This data is filtered for sounds that are beyond the range of the human ear, and the result is transformed back (via an indiscrete cosine) into the hash table, in random order.

Take each pattern in the original data set, XOR it with the log of it's entry in the new hash table, then shuffle each byte two positions to the left and you're done!

And you can see, there is some very advanced thinking going on here. It is no wonder this algorithm took so long to develop!

Very impressive! ;) (fwded by Joe on the ILUG list)

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Some really useful tips for business travellers in Ireland. These are pure horseshit, by the way:

  • Pointing is accomplished by using the head or chin, rather than the fingers. (jm: if you're an actor in The Quiet Man, that is)

  • The peace sign or "V" made by extending the index and middle finger with the palm facing out, is an obscene gesture in Ireland and should be avoided.

  • If you are referred to as "plain," there is no need to take offense; this is actually an affectionate term, meaning that you are "one of" the Irish. (jm: never heard of anything even vaguely similar to this)

And these were probably true about 30 years ago:

  • Welcome Topics of Conversation: drink; the economy, especially positive aspects; the weather - be aware that rain is viewed positively here (jm: since when?!)

  • You will find that potatoes are a very important part of meals in Ireland. Fish is also popular.

  • Serving bread with meals is not part of Irish culture. You may see an object on the dining table resembling a bread and butter dish, but this is actually a receptacle for placing discarded, boiled potato skins. (jm: no comment needed here I think)

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<bigwig> is a really interesting new design for web services. A month or 2 ago, I was thinking about web app languages, like perl/CGI, PHP, servlets, HTML::Mason, etc., and I realised that the big problem was the requirement imposed by the web environment itself; most "interesting" operations often have a UI that needs to take place over several pages, and each page has to

  • unmarshal the user's CGI params, decode them, check them for insecurity, validity etc.;

  • open the database;

  • perform actions;

  • fill out the HTML template (I'm assuming nobody's insane enough to still use embedded HTML-in-code!);

  • insert "next step" form data in that template;

  • send that back to the user;

  • save a little state to the database;

  • then exit, and forget all in-memory state.

When compared to most interactive programs now, it's clear that this is a totally different, and much more laborious, way to write code. The nearest thing in trad apps is the "callback" way to deal with non-blocking I/O, ie. what we used before we could (a) use threads (b) use processes or (c) wrap it up in a more friendly library to do that. It just screams complexity.

<bigwig> fixes that:

Rather than producing a single HTML page and then terminating as CGI scripts or Servlets, each session thread may involve multiple client interactions while maintaining data that is local to that thread.

They call it The Session-Centered Approach.

It gets better. They also include built-in support for input validation, HTML output validation, compilation and compile-time code checking, and it's GPLed free software. This is really good stuff. Next time I have to write a web app, I'll be using this.

Found via sweetcode.

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I can sympathise with Leonard; I just had a wisdom tooth extracted on Saturday and (argh) have had to give up cigarettes for a few days to avoid the dreaded "Dry Socket" (sadly, this is nothing like a "dry pair"). Dammit, I want a cigarette! Must... resist...

Still, the no cigs and raw-hole-where-a-tooth-was bit is the worst part. The extraction was quite painless.

I considered taking a pic of the offending tooth (complete with plentiful decay and 3, count 'em, 3 roots), but then decided that would completely gross out the fledgling taint.org readership.

BTW I do not know why quite a few of the web pages dealing with dry sockets refer to them as "exquisitely painful". Maybe The Little Shop of Horrors was right about dentists.

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Boo. Jon Johansen -- the Norwegian teenager who broke the DVD CSS copy protection scheme -- has been indicted by the Norwegian "white collar crime unit". He could get "six months in jail if Johansen gained illegitimate access to data", and "up to two years in prison for having caused damage by gaining such access or for having done so with a financial motivation." Found via rc3.org.

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NSync dropped from new Star Wars movie: Joey Fatone rang a Florida radio station to say the scene has been scrapped ... "because people made a big deal about it. We're not going to be in it and I'm not going to comment on it any more."

The movie's going to suck regardless ;)

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Great article at Salon.com about changing prorities for academia; money-making over public benefit.

In the 1980s, computer scientists at Berkeley ... created an improved version of the Unix operating system, complete with a networking protocol called the TCP/IP stack. ... In 1992, Berkeley released its version of Unix and TCP/IP to the public as open-source code, and the combination quickly became the backbone of a network so vast that people started to call it, simply, "the Internet."

Many would regard giving the Internet to the world as a benevolent act fitting for one of the world's great public universities. But Bill Hoskins, who is currently in charge of protecting the intellectual property produced at U.C. Berkeley, thinks it must have been a mistake. "Whoever released the code for the Internet probably didn't understand what they were doing," he says.

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You could not make it up. It seems Ballymena councillor Robin Stirling, has accused UTV (Ulster Television) of sending viewers subliminal messages promoting Sinn Fein president Gerry Adams. From IrishNews.com via forteana.

Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 19:02:35 -0000
From: Joe McNally (spam-protected)
To: Yahoogroups Forteana (spam-protected)
Subject: The voice of reason

http://www.irishnews.com/current/politics1.html

UTV sent subliminal message: DUP man

By Maeve Connolly


A DUP councillor has accused UTV of sending viewers subliminal messages promoting Sinn Fein president Gerry Adams.

Ballymena councillor Robin Stirling says Gerry Adams features more prominently in the opening sequence of UTV news bulletins than any other politician and has compiled statistics he claims prove his point.

Mr Stirling has video-tape evidence and freeze-frame photographs of the on-screen images and is prepared to visit Havelock House to meet UTV representatives.

"The figures I analysed and was able to pick out were Tony Blair occupying 3.5 per cent of the screen, as compared to Gerry Adams at 21 per cent," Mr Stirling said.

In a letter sent to UTV in December, Mr Stirling claimed the station was using 'perceptual psychology' similar to that previously employed in undemocratic regimes such as Romania and the former Soviet Union.

Mr Stirling said UTV had reassured him it was changing the graphic sequence, but he dismissed as irrelevant claims it was an "issue of artistic impression".

"They were very pleasant but they're not seeing what I'm seeing," the councillor said.

He said he had not received support from all members of Ballymena borough council when he raised the matter at Monday night's meeting and produced a three ft by two ft photographic montage to back his argument.

"People's perception vary depending on their tolerance level.

"There are people on the council who wouldn't be too worried what appears on their screens. Their idea is if you don't like it turn it off, but I don't know if that is really addressing an issue," he said.

Last night a UTV spokeswoman said the news graphics had no political intentions.

"The montage of political figures which councillor Stirling refers to is not a political statement but an artistic sequence with a comprehensive range of images to ensure no political bias," she said.

Fellow Ballymena councillor Lexie Scott said he supported Mr Stirling's right to take issue with what he saw but expressed concern at the council being seen as trying to impose political control over the media.

The Ulster Unionist said the image of Mr Adams comprised approximately one second of a five-second clip and the montage swept over a large number of politicians.

"I think the vast majority of people in Ballymena are unlikely to be unduly influenced by a photograph of any politician, but especially of Mr Adams," Mr Scott said.

The SDLP's PJ McAvoy dismissed the matter as "frivolous and trivial", adding that there were more important matters for Ballymena borough council to discuss.

"I'm sure all television companies do things in a very fair minded way and don't set out purposefully to provoke," Mr McAvoy said.

"At the end of the day all these people are prominent figures in the news.

"If some people seem to see a split-second flash of one person more than another I don't really think it's worth discussing," he added.

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Here's that VR tour of an abandoned US ICBM silo which J.G. Ballard mentioned. Don't mind the authentic 1995 background GIFs, frames, and big navigation buttons; it's an amazing site, full of great little observations like:

Note that all of the overhead lights in the facility are mounted on shock-resistant springs so that if the complex were bombed, the ground could shake without burning out the lightbulbs.

Kevin Kelm and his co-explorer certainly did their homework and explored the silo thoroughly, and the descriptions read like an adventure game. Very spooky!

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Cory at BB does it again... I don't know where he finds 'em, but the animated GIF cartoons on this page are really neat; hand-drawn, black-and-white manga featuring what appears to be Killer Chicken Man (or something. hmm... I could really do with some subtitles ;).

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Caganers, Catalonian shitting figurines, are getting in trouble in a California museum.

Date: Tue, 08 Jan 2002 10:45:29 -0000
From: "Tim Chapman" (spam-protected)
To: forteana (spam-protected)
Subject: Caganers defended

Defecating Figurines Part Of Holiday

Tuesday January 8, 2002 9:40 AM

BARCELONA, Spain (AP) - Placing statuettes of defecating people in Nativity scenes is a Christmastime tradition so old and so strong in Spain's Catalonia region that even the Roman Catholic Church here doesn't dare try to ban it.

When an exhibit of the figurines in a California museum sparked an angry denunciation from a Catholic group in the United States, Catalonians who cherish the tradition came ardently to its defense.

``Unfortunately, there are intolerant people who are offended by any little thing," Josep Maria Joan, director of the Toy Museum of Catalonia, said Monday. His museum has a permanent collection of the figurines, known as caganers.

Spanish artist Antoni Miralda's exposition ``Poetical Gut" at Copia, a food, wine and arts museum in Napa, Calif., features ceramic figurines of the pope, nuns and angels with their pants down, squatting over their bowel movements.

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, a 350,000-member group based in New York, has written to the museum's board of trustees to say it finds the show offensive.

``When it's degrading, everybody knows it except the spin doctors who run the museums," the group's president, William Donohue, said Sunday. In a tradition that dates back to the 18th century, Catalonians hide caganers in Christmas Nativity scenes and invite friends over to try to find them. The figures symbolize fertilization and the hope for prosperity in the coming year, according to Joan.

``It's really only a game," he said. ``The caganer is not supposed to steal Jesus' spotlight in the manger scene. But it's logical that when traditions like this are exported they can be misunderstood."

An official with the Cultural Heritage department of the Barcelona Roman Catholic diocese, speaking on condition of anonymity, described the tradition as a harmless game for children and indicated the church has no plans to oppose it.

Although the traditional caganer resembles a red-capped Catalonian peasant, Miralda is not the first to depict public figures. Since the 1940s, Catalonians have been making modern renditions of the caganer - including, recently, Osama bin Laden.

For Marti Torrent, founder of the 70-member Association of Friends of the Caganer, the meaning goes deeper than child's play.

To him, the caganer's act symbolizes ``the fertilization of the earth" and pride in the land of Catalonia, whose inhabitants won the right to speak their own language and govern themselves after the 1939-75 Spanish dictatorship.

``I know that American society is more strict with its religious ideas than we are in Catalonia," said Torrent, 89, who added that what the caganer does is natural. ``Even the king has to do it every day or at least every other day."

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Two Sides of the Sun, from the Guardian via forteana, "How the Sun (UK and Irish tabloid newspaper - jm) cast a two-faced shadow on the eurozone":

  • UK: Dawn of a New Error: The euro is born. And thank goodness Britain is not part of it. ... Sun reporters in London were taken for a ride by the euro.

  • Ireland: Dawn of a New Era: Ireland wakes up to a new era today as the euro is introduced. ... in Ireland, the new currency was set to be a huge hit with the public.

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good interview with J.G. Ballard:

... consider another of his favourites: "There's this group that got into a disused American nuclear silo (site now gone, unfortunately - jm). It's wonderful! You're taken on a tour and you can choose alternatives. 'Would you like to look at the missile control room?', 'Would you like to see the sleeping quarters?'. It's straight out of the stuff that I was writing about all that time ago.

"Sites such as these feed the poetic and imaginative strains in all of us who have been numbed by all the Bruce Willis films," he says. "I'm waiting for the first new religion on the internet. One that is unique to the Net and to the modern age. It'll come.''

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What used to be known as Media Grok before The Industry Standard fell over is now being published again, as Media Unspun. It'll be free from now until March, then it goes commercial. Here's hoping it works out.

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Drunk men have been lurching into the headquarters of Queensland's Prostitution Licensing Authority and demanding prostitutes.

Date: Fri, 04 Jan 2002 11:49:35 -0800
From: (spam-protected) (glen mccready)
Forwarded-by: William Knowles (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
cc: (spam-protected)
Subject: 200 metres!

http://www.theage.com.au/breaking/2002/01/04/FFXN6I063TC.html

BRISBANE, Jan 4 AAP|Published: Friday January 4, 6:02 PM

Drunk men have been lurching into the headquarters of Queensland's Prostitution Licensing Authority and demanding prostitutes.

The unwelcome men triggered a security overhaul of the authority, it was revealed today.

Police Minister Tony McGrady said "intoxicated or undesirable males" had regularly turned up at the Prostitution Licensing Authority's office looking for some action.

Some of the men wanted to hire a prostitute and others were looking for their partners, who they believed worked as prostitutes.

"Some of these males refused to leave the premises and caused minor disturbances," Mr McGrady said in response to a question on notice.

The incidents happened when the Prostitution Licensing Authority first moved into their offices in suburban Milton 18 months ago.

Mr McGrady confirmed the Milton offices had been upgraded before the Prostitution Licensing Authority moved in, on the advice of state government security experts.

The office had duress alarms, intercom facilities, a fireproof safe and was soundproofed.

Access to the offices through the roof was also sealed off.

The Prostitution Licensing Authority was set up in July 2000 to process the license applications for "boutique" brothels and monitor the legalised sex industry.

Queensland so far only has one legal brothel, operating in the inner-city Brisbane suburb of Bowen Hills.

The authority has approved a further three brothels, two in industrial areas of the Gold Coast and another in the southside Brisbane suburb of Yeerongpilly.

Last month, authority chairman Bill Carter said the he was also considering applications for brothels in Townsville, Mackay, the Sunshine and Gold Coasts and Brisbane.

Under state law, legal brothels must not have more than five rooms or employ more than five sex workers.

They must also be at least 200 metres from schools, churches, homes, hospitals and child-minding facilities.

By Barbara Adam

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Again, from a nerdy POV. It's fascinating to discover this old SGI memo on memory leaks and code bloat, mainly because the code sizes they talk about are miniscule, these days.

The window system (Xsgi + 4Dwm) is up from 3.2 MB to 3.6 MB, and the miscellaneous stuff has grown as well.

3.6 Mb for a GUI desktop? Not bad! ;)

Much of the problem seems to be due to DSOs (jm: dynamic shared objects, aka shared libraries/DLLs) that load whole libraries instead of individual routines. Many SGI applications link with 20 or so large DSOs, virtually guaranteeing enormous executables.

As far as I know, this is still the case on most popular OSes.

Interestingly, I used both IRIX 4.0.x and 5.2 -- and I preferred 5.2. Could have been the hardware, though. But anyway -- the bottom line is, things have only gotten bigger and bloatier since then.

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On a more nerdy tip, Joel talks about those days when you just can't get started, under the title "Fire and Motion". Here's a choice quote:

Think of the history of data access strategies to come out of Microsoft. ODBC, RDO, DAO, ADO, OLEDB, now ADO.NET - All New! Are these technological imperatives? The result of an incompetent design group that needs to reinvent data access every goddamn year? (That's probably it, actually.) But the end result is just cover fire. The competition has no choice but to spend all their time porting and keeping up, time that they can't spend writing new features. Look closely at the software landscape. The companies that do well are the ones who rely least on big companies and don't have to spend all their cycles catching up and reimplementing and fixing bugs that crop up only on Windows XP.

...

The sales teams of the big companies understand cover fire. They go into their customers and say, OK, you don't have to buy from us. Buy from the best vendor. But make sure that you get a product that supports (XML / SOAP / CDE / J2EE) because otherwise you'll be Locked In The Trunk . Then when the little companies try to sell into that account, all they hear is obedient CTOs parrotting Do you have J2EE? And they have to waste all their time building in J2EE even if it doesn't really make any sales, and gives them no opportunity to distinguish themselves. It's a checkbox feature -- you do it because you need the checkbox saying you have it, but nobody will use it or needs it. And it's cover fire.

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"Monster waves" -- ocean waves of 100 feet and more in height, not caused by seismic activity -- may be explained by a new theory from researchers at the Technical University in Berlin.

"Even in the tank the effect was awe-inspiring," said Prof Clauss. "The exploding wave was so powerful that it broke through the ceiling of the building in which the tank is located," he added.

Impressive -- but I'm pretty sure there's been eyewitness accounts of bigger waves than the ones mentioned (120 feet), as well. I wonder if the theory can account for those?

Date: Sun, 06 Jan 2002 12:38:53 -0800
From: Brian Chapman (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected) (spam-protected)
Subject: Mystery of monster waves solved

http://portal.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/01/06/wwave06.xml&sSheet=/news/2002/01/06/ixworld.html

Sunday Telegraph | 6 Jan 2002

Mystery of monster waves solved By Tony Paterson in Berlin

GERMAN scientists claim to have explained the mystery behind so-called monster waves - the term given by oceanographers for near-vertical breaking seas up to 120ft high. Such seas are thought to have sunk more than 200 supertankers and container ships without trace during the past two decades.

Often dismissed as sailors' yarns, monster waves have terrified seafarers for centuries and provided the raw material for countless novels and films including Sebastian Junger's recent best-seller The Perfect Storm.

Yet until now scientists and oceanographers had been unable to determine exactly what formed such gigantic "one-off" seas that are capable of breaking a 600ft-long ship in half and sending it to the bottom within seconds.

A team of oceanographers at the Technical University in Berlin has now managed to explain the phenomenon with the aid of computers and by simulating monster waves in a tank.

"Our wave experiments have proved for the first time that monster waves are physically possible and that they really do exist," said Prof Gunther Clauss, who led the team of scientists.

"This represents a breakthrough for the shipping and oil industries because we can now start to design structures that can cope with these monsters," he added.

Using a computerised, hydraulically powered wave-making machine in a specially designed tank supplied by oceanographers at Hanover University, Prof Clauss's team has established that monster waves can occur with little or no warning.

The waves are created in a storm when slow-moving waves are caught up by a succession of faster waves travelling at more than twice their speed. "What happens then is that the waves simply pile up on top of each other to create a monster," said Prof Clauss.

"The result is an almost vertical wall of water which towers up to 120ft in height before collapsing on itself. Any vessel caught by one of these has little chance of surviving."

Photographs of the experiments show the monster wave building into a vertical wall of water before exploding into an uncontrollable boiling mass as it collapses on itself.

"Even in the tank the effect was awe-inspiring," said Prof Clauss. "The exploding wave was so powerful that it broke through the ceiling of the building in which the tank is located," he added.

Monster waves are thought to have caused the loss of at least 200 "super carriers" or ships measuring more than 600ft in length on the world's oceans over the past 20 years. The unexplained disappearance of many smaller vessels including trawlers and yachts could put the total number of losses much higher.

Yet accounts by seamen who have witnessed such waves are comparatively rare. One, dating from 1995, was when the QE2 was hit by a hurricane on a crossing to New York.

She survived what was estimated to be a 95ft high wave which the ship took directly over her bow. Her captain, Ronald Warwick, described the phenomenon as "like going into the White Cliffs of Dover".

One of the few small-boat sailors to survive a monster wave was the British yachtsman, Brigadier Miles Smeeton, who did so twice. His 50ft ketch, Tzu Hang was dismasted twice by such waves while attempting to round Cape Horn in the 1950s - once after being "pitchpoled", toppled stern over bow.

In Germany, the horrors of monster waves have been brought right up to date after revelations about the near-sinking of the German Antarctic cruise liner Bremen in the south Atlantic last year. The ship with 137 passengers aboard was hit by a 114ft wave in March while heading towards make Rio de Janiero after an Antarctic cruise.

The impact smashed windows on the bridge and cut the ship's electricity supply. The vessel drifted engineless for more than half an hour heeling at an angle of 40 degrees in huge seas whipped by hurricane-strength winds.

"I have been at sea for 48 years, but never have I experienced such a wave," said the Bremen's captain, Heinz Aye, 65, who is now retired.

Prof Clauss said that his team's research would help naval architects in their efforts to construct ships and oil platforms that were capable of withstanding such freak wave forces.

"In many cases it is as simple as building a bridge on a ship that is not slab-sided but rounded, so it can cope with being hit by a monster wave. Most ships plying the oceans right now are not built along these lines," he said.

The team also hopes that its research will help in the development of radar that is specifically designed to warn of sea conditions that could produce the monster-wave phenomenon.

"This could help the captains of ships to steer clear of a danger area, but the truth is we can do nothing to prevent monster waves. They are a product of nature," Prof Clauss added.

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Mmmmm..... Marmite. "It must be spread thinly. T-h-i-n-l-y..."

We now, thanks to various visitors from the other side of the world, have 4 large jars of the stuff. Looks like we'll be lugging it around for a while. yum.

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Ever wonder if computer industry analysts were, quite simply, for sale to the highest bidder? Wonder no more, courtesy of the latest MS leak via the Register:

  1. The first wave will attack the perception that Linux is free. To that effect, we'll have an independent analysis commissioned by DH Brown ... The DH Brown report will be customer ready and will help your customer understand just how competitive Microsoft is in this arena.

  2. The second wave will be a full blown cost analysis comparison case study between Linux and Windows in a variety of usage scenarios (web, file and print, etc.) done independently by the analysts for us. ETA for this tool is in May and it will be a great tool to help you sell the value of Windows solutions over Linux. ...

(emphases on will added by jm.)

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It's alleged that 10 midwives at Wollongong Hospital's maternity ward have been holding nitrous oxide and tamazepam parties at work. Those nurses have all the fun!

Date: Mon, 29 May 2000 09:14:22 +1000
From: Peter Darben (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Umm . . .

----- (from The Daily Telegraph (Sydney) 31.12.01)

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,3512875%255E3163,00.html

Midwives 'partied' as babies were born

By ANNA COCK

31dec01

TEN midwiveshave been stood down or shifted from Wollongong Hospital's maternity ward over allegations they have been holding laughing gas drug parties at work.

The Illawarra Area Health Service has launchedan investigation into illegal drug use among midwives, and one doctor, who are alleged to have been inhaling nitrous oxide -- known as laughing gas -- and swallowing sleeping tablets while on duty.

The Daily Telegraph has been told the drugs were taken during frequent parties at the hospital, held inside empty birthing rooms while babies were being delivered next door.

A junior nurse brought the practice to the attentionof hospital authorities on December 11, claiming that one of the parties was held inside a birthing room on December 9.

While two women were in labour with premature babies, three of the four midwives on duty were partying with nitrous oxide, an anaesthetic gas which promotes feelings of euphoria and can cause hallucinations.

The junior staff member is said to have been horrified by the behaviour, which had the potential to put patients at serious risk -- particularly during birth complications.

Authorities investigating the drug parties arebelieved to have been handed a photograph of one of the events, held during July.

It is believed some senior maternity ward staff have been implicated.

Since the investigation began last month, those who are not facing the accusations have been subjected to bullying from the alleged ring leaders, urging them not to co-operate.

A caution was issued to all maternity ward staff against harassment and intimidation – and one staff member who flouted the order was stood down on December 19.

Two days later, on December 21, that nurse and five of her colleagues were stood down and four were moved to other areas of the hospital.

Investigators examining the hospital's drug records are understood to have uncovered unusually high usage of nitrous oxide and temazapam in the maternity ward.

This supports their belief that the parties have been something of a tradition at the hospital, rather than a one-off incident.

Yesterday, Illawarra Area Health Service chief executive Dr Tony Sherbon confirmed that an investigation into "unprofessional conduct" at Wollongong Hospital's birthing unit had led to disciplinary action.

"The Illawarra Area Health Service executive and Wollongong Hospital managers are deeply concerned about this serious breach of conduct," Dr Sherbon said.

"The decision to stand down midwives was made on December 21 following allegations they had misused nitrous oxide while on duty.

"There are also concerns about the high use of the sedative temazapam in the birthing unit and that investigation is still ongoing," he said.

Dr Sherbon said the NSW Nursing Association and Nurses Registration Board had been advised of the decision to stand down the midwives.

And "a thorough review of all recent births at Wollongong Hospital has not shown any link between the use of nitrous oxide and any adverse outcomes for any mothers or babies''.

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Incompetent websites, part 43985943. Waider @ ILUG notes:

It's a moot point at this stage, but am I the only person (well, other than whoever fixed the problem) who noticed that the euro countdown on http://www.euro.ie/ was, until some time this morning, counting down to midnight Dec 30/31 as opposed to midnight Dec 31/Jan 1?

snicker!

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Where does the smell of rain originate from?

If you've wondered why the ground, or the road smells a bit odd when it rains after a long dry spell, wonder no more... The smell is given off by Streptomyces bacteria, a genus belonging to the Actinomycetales order of Gram-positive eubacteria, also called actinomycetes.

The bacteria grow in damp, warm earth before fine weather dries out the soil, which then blows around as dust. During a dry spell, actinomycetes produce spores that are released on contact with moisture. Rain hitting the ground kicks up an aerosol of water and soil and you breathe in fine particles of soil containing the bacteria.

Cool! via yak.net.

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Jeff Bone points out Lingua::Romana::Perligata, a Perl module ... that makes it possible to write Perl programs in Latin. A plausible rationale for wanting to do such a thing is provided, along with a comprehensive overview of the syntax and semantics of Latinized Perl.

Sample:

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use Lingua::Romana::Perligata;
maximum inquementum tum biguttam egresso scribe.
meo maximo vestibulo perlegamentum da.
da duo tum maximum conscribementa meis listis.
dum listis decapitamentum damentum nexto
fac sic
nextum tum novumversum scribe egresso.
lista sic hoc recidementum nextum cis vannementa da listis.
cis.

The mind boggles.

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Blade director Steven Norrington is planning to direct a movie of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Alan Moore's fantastic comic. This should be bizarre -- Victorian superheroes, in authentic period style, filmed by a hyper-Hollywood director (going by Blade at least).

I wonder if they'll take out all the accurate 19th-century colonialist bigotry: "the inscrutable Chinee" etc.?

BTW -- went to see Lord of the Rings last night, totally fantastic. The interpretation was spot on too, and some of the CGI effects (Saruman's tower!) were just incredible! Well happy with that -- best movie of the year by far. And the "over-celtic" criticism noted before just doesn't stand up IMO.

Only fault I could have is the slightly sluggish first bit (but I suppose LoTR novices need a bit of explanation), and (as Lukage pointed out via private mail) the "breakdancing Gandalf" sequence. Well, also, the elves were a bit super-fey but I guess that's unavoidable.

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Buzkashi -- "Goat-grabbing" -- is back in Kabul.

Horses' hooves thundered, the crowd roared with excitement - and the carcass of a headless goat hit the playing field with a sodden thump. In a spectacle not seen since pre-Taliban times, the ancient Afghan sport of buzkashi returned to Kabul on Friday.

Date: Sat, 29 Dec 2001 06:29:12 -0600
From: "Webmaster" (spam-protected)
To: "Forteana" (spam-protected)
Subject: Goat Polo

http://www.cbsnews.com/now/story/0,1597,322586-412,00.shtml

Goat Polo In Liberated Kabul

Afghan National Sport Returns After Taliban Leave

KABUL, Afghanistan, Dec. 28, 2001

(AP) Horses' hooves thundered, the crowd roared with excitement - and the carca ss of a headless goat hit the playing field with a sodden thump. In a spectacle not seen since pre-Taliban times, the ancient Afghan sport of buzkashi returne d to Kabul on Friday.

Thousands of avid spectators perched atop mud-brick walls, clambered onto truck beds and stood balanced on bicycle seats to watch two teams of whip-wielding ho rsemen fight a running duel up, down and across a dusty field surrounded by rui ned buildings in the center of the Afghan capital.

"We haven't seen this game played in more than five years," said a grizzled fan , Ulam Siddiq, who was rooting for the Kabul home team. "It's part of our cultu re, and we're very happy to have it back again."

Buzkashi - which means "goat-grabbing" in the Dari language widely spoken in Af ghanistan - is not a pastime for the faint-hearted.

Leaving aside any squeamishness about the "ball" - that would be the decapitate d goat - the game involves no-holds-barred combat, waged at full gallop, to wre st control of the carcass from the rival team. Gashes and broken bones are comm on; spills commonly send riders and horses alike tumbling.

Being a spectator at a buzkashi match isn't all that much safer. Every few minu tes, the watching crowds scattered and fled as groups of horsemen plowed wildly into the sidelines, whips clenched in their teeth.

The object of the game is to try to snatch the 150-pound carcass from the cente r of the field and carry it to the scoring area. Only the most skilled players - known as "chapandaz" - manage to get the goat. And keeping it can be even har der.

Traditionally, the game is played at festive times like the start of the new ye ar, or at Afghan wedding parties, when matches lasting days would sometimes be staged. Organizers said this match was meant to celebrate the inauguration of A fghanistan's new interim government six days earlier.

Like so much else in Afghanistan, the sport has particular ethnic associations. Buzkashi is most popular in the north, where it is thought to have originated among Turkic-Mongol peoples, and is primarily played today by Uzbeks, Turkmen a nd Tajiks.

Horses and players alike undergo years of training before they are allowed to t ake to the field. During Taliban rule, the best-known players fled into exile i n Pakistan or were bottled up in the small slice of territory held by the oppos ition northern alliance.

"Our best horses and our best players are not back yet," player Sayeed Ashi sai d just before the match began, seated astride a chestnut horse with a brightly patterned saddle blanket. "But we're proud to resume this tradition - it's our national game, and we love it."

Milling among the spectators Friday were dozens of Kalashnikov-toting northern alliance soldiers, some in camouflage uniforms. They hooted and applauded along with the rest of the crowd - and quickly dodged, along with the others, when a knot of thundering horseflesh headed their way.

The two teams - one from Kabul, the other from the rugged Panjshir Valley

  • bat tled to a 9-9 draw, but the crowd enthusiastically applauded the

goal-scoring o f both. Organizers said matches would be held regularly in the capital from now on.

While the mood at the buzkashi field was festive and no serious injuries were r eported, recent days have seen renewed interest in blood sports long popular in Afghanistan and long criticized by international groups. Cock-fighting and dog -fighting, both banned by the Taliban, are once again taking hold in around Kab ul.

"It's part of the long story of our country, fighting," said Siddiq, the buzkashi fan. "For now, it is fine to have it only on the playing field."

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More pics up on jmason.org, from the Casio watchcam over November and December, including two trips to Philip Island to see the penguins. BTW, "I am not lazy, I am surviving" is my new life motto.

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I can wholly sympathise with Joe Barr's experiences with MPlayer; I tried to set up a few good, recent video players on my Red Hat laptop a while back, and the DLL hell just wasn't worth it.

The attitude is hilarious too:

Don't get me wrong. There is documentation. It is scattered, and often incomplete, and carries the same attitude I had seen elsewhere, but it is there. An example of that attitude, taken verbatim from the FAQ:

Q: I compiled MPlayer with libdvdcss/libdivxdecore support, but when I try to start it, it says: error while loading shared libraries: lib*.so.0: cannot load shared object file: No such file or directory

I checked the file and it is there in /usr/local/lib.

A: What are you doing on Linux? Can't you install a library? Why do we get these questions? It's not MPlayer specific at all! Add /usr/local/lib to /etc/ld.so.conf and run ldconfig. Or install it to /usr/lib, because if you can't solve the /usr/local problem, you are careless enough to do such things.

What the hell are BOFHs doing writing a video player? Go back to LARTing lusers, or something!

I finally got XINE set up, thanks to two lovely RPMs from Red Hat's Rawhide bleeding-edge distro. (At least someone around here knows how to package software ;)

There's a few other packages which (I've heard) boast scary maintainers. Very nice to look at, but ask a question and the maintainer's likely to stab you. Can't see the point of that, myself. Half of writing free software is the fact that the users will contact you at some point. Get used to it!

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Online Banking With Konqueror -- an exhaustive list of online banking systems, and whether or not they work with Konqueror. Since Konqueror uses a from-scratch implementation of Javascript, and is generally just not MSIE, this also acts as a good guide to online banks that Have A Clue How To Write Usable Web Apps. (Kudos go to AIB 24-hour Online Banking, who have run a clean, friendly, and very usable plain-HTML banking system since day 1.)

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Crummy.com:

We noticed various characteristic Muppet behaviors such as the Muppet Panic and the Muppet Walk (and the one I just realized, the Muppet Moment of Inner Turmoil That's Actually a Hand Rearrangement).

ROFL! I'd always wondered what was going on there, now it all makes sense.

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Bizarre, if quite funny, spam. This guy should give up on the spammage and just sell wierd stuff over the web legitimately.

Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2001 10:15:18 -0000
From: "Bob Rickard" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected) Com'' (spam-protected)
Subject: FW: Help Stick it to Osama!

From: Billy Yank ...
Subject: Help Stick it to Osama!

Introducing the latest weapon in the war on terrorism: THE OSAMA 'PIN-LADEN' ANTI-TERRORIST VOO-DOO DOLL!!!!

http://www.osamapinladen.com

Yes, you read right....AN Osama Doll! But NOT JUST A DOLL!!! The 'Pin Laden' Voo-Doo doll is NOT just a wacky little stocking stuffer... It is a bona-fide, home-brewed 'PSY-OPS' ANTI-TERROR MOVEMENT!!!! Read on:

It's like this---Remember those Moony conventions (or whatever they were), where they got thousands of people together in a football stadium to blow out a candle thorugh willpower? Well, we're trying to 'blow out' Bin-boy pretty urgently, and WE NEED YOUR HELP!! So Grab your Osama Voo-Doo doll, an assortment of The Red,White and Blue 'Patriot Pins' included, and STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!

Remember, THIS IS WAR, so please buy a few for patriotic friends too...YOUR COUNTRY THANKS YOU!

http://www.osamapinladen.com

Still not convinced?!

OK, OK, While it may not be an officially sanctioned initiative in the War against Terrorism, 'MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT,' this IS for a good cause. 15% of the net profits wil be donated to Rudy Giuliani's TWIN TOWERS FUND.

So in a way, it's like RUDY HIMSELF SAID YOU SHOULD BUY ONE!...(unless he e-mails us all pissed off, in which case we'll take this part out.)

But wait a second...if you poke an Osama Voo-Doo doll, WILL IT REALLY WORK to combat terrorism? Well, if you don't, it wont work for sure, so WHAT'VE YOU GOT TO LOSE?! Rip open the bag, chant a few curses, and STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!

http://www.osamapinladen.com

Hmmm....If you've read down this far, I guess you still need convincing....You're probably thinking this is just one more lame spam advertisement sent to clog up your in-box for the profit of others.

Uhhhh....Well, you have a point, but we have one too--6 in fact..You see, every person who decides to 'Stick it' to the 'Pin-Laden' Voo-Doo doll, with the 6 RED, WHITE AND BLUE 'PATRIOT PINS' included in the package allows us to donate money to the families of victims of the 9-11 attack via the Twin Towers Fund. It's a COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE (albeit slightly tasteless) venture, and this IS much funnier than 99% of all the other junk you receive, isn't it? And after all, they really do make great stocking stuffers to boot.

http://www.osamapinladen.com

Look, what are you afraid of? Hey -- it's a cloth doll okay?! It ain't anthrax, and it ain't gonna make you end up on some kind of Tipper Gore black-magic satanist insurgent watch list! It may very well delight and impress your friends, and make a useful doorstop, toilet scrub-brush, rottweiler chew-toy, or firestarter!! When we bring one of these to the local pub, they make a nice trade for a few free beers.

Hey one word of warning...this is not a toy, this is a WEAPON OF WAR!!! So please keep this product away from children, incompetant adults, and any terrorists you may happen to know personally. Use the same care with this product that you would playing with matches or cleaning your ears with your car keys.

IN SUM, we invite you to Vent Anger, Relieve Stress, and Aid Victims.... ....and most of all, STICK IT TO HIM AMERICA!!!!

http://www.osamapinladen.com

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George W. Hart is a sculptor who works with incredible geometric forms. "Classical forms are pushed in new directions, so viewers can take pleasure in their Platonic beauty yet recognize how they are updated for our complex high-tech times. I share with many artists the idea that a pure form is a worthy object, and select for each piece the materials that best carry that form."

I like " Gonads of the Rich and Famous", a 3D printing. But what exactly is a 3D printing?

(Link from Forteana, via a discussion on edible trilobites. George has a recipe on his site ;)

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Good article at the Guardian, on what J. R. R. Tolkien would have made of the movie:

Why, he would have asked in despair, has his quintessentially English shire been turned into an outstation of Riverdance? "I do know Celtic things and feel for them a certain distaste. They are in fact 'mad'," he wrote in an untypically snotty letter in 1937. So why do the hobbits do Irish jigs at Bilbo Baggins' birthday party?

Why are two of the hobbits in the fellowship, Merry and Pippin, cast as prat-falling Irish clowns? Why does Howard Shore's music break into repeated Irish warbling? Because, as he would dolefully have guessed, James Cameron's Titanic proved that dollops of Irishry play well with the US box office.

Well, I think I'll be with JRR on that one then. begorrah.

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a mind-boggling tale of debauchery, supposedly regarding "Philip Murray, a glamorous wayward socialite son of the great classical scholar and Oxford don Gilbert Murray. In the final days of the Spanish Civil War, young Murray fils found himself in the beleaguered town of Valencia, then still under Republican rule. Murray had been on an extended binge and was reduced, in Delmer's picturesque phrase, to a state of 'phobic moodiness and mad romantic exaltation in which love, hunger for love, threw him into delusions and despair."'

Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 16:29:56 -0000
From: John Hurn (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: re: ape sex

This looks like the one...

To: (spam-protected)
From: Rachel Carthy (spam-protected)
Subject: RE: AIDS, chimps, and Sasquatch

I'm sorry, I've been saving this up since the great orang-shagging debate of blessed memory because I didn't want you all to think I was some kind of primate perv... but I can't hold back any longer...:

"A more romantic example of bestiality is described by the celebrated war correspondent of the _Daily Express_, Sefton Delmer, in his vivid memoirs _Trail Sinister_. Here, Delmer recounts in a thinly disguised portrait the last amorous exploit of Philip Murray, a glamorous wayward socialite son of the great classical scholar and Oxford don Gilbert Murray. In the final days of the Spanish Civil War, young Murray _fils_ found himself in the beleaguered town of Valencia, then still under Republican rule. Murray had been on an extended binge and was reduced, in Delmer's picturesque phrase, to a state of 'phobic moodiness and mad romantic exaltation in which love, hunger for love, threw him into delusions and despair.'

"One evening, down in the squalid port area of Valencia, he met up at a street circus with a ferocious anarchist group calling themselves 'The Iron Guard of Karl Marx'. During the show, Murray's attention was drawn to a female chimpanzee - the circus' top attraction - 'a fine buxom she-ape with all the indications of her sex emphatically developed.' [Why is it I hear this in the voice of the 'very, very drunk' raconteur from the Fast Show? R]

"Filled with misguided love, Murray tried to buy the creature, offering a huge rate on the black market. When the circus owner rejected his offer, the Iron Guard of KM intervened; they called the owner a miserable skulking capitalist - 'You refuse to part with this ape who is obviously dying with passion for the British compagnero!' - threatening to shoot him and burn down his circus if he did not agree.

"Delmer then recounts how Murray and the ape, arm in arm with the Iron Guard of KM, proceeded on an extended tour of the town's bars and bodegas, during which the chimpanzee drank Fundador brandy glass for glass with her new admirer.

"Finally, when they reached the plush Victoria Hotel, - the grandest in town and the HQ of the foreign press corps - the night porter refused them entry with the pompous words 'No apes allowed in the hotel.' The leader of the Iron Guard of KM, brandishing a pistol, shouted 'If you do not immediately permit the senora ape to enter the hotel with the Ingles, then we shall destroy the hotel and when we have finished there will be nothing left of the hotel or you.'

"Murray and his ape duly repaired to his room, where he was last seen turning on the bath-water, and heard saying, as he closed the door, 'And now, my poppet, you shall have a lovely warm bath with plenty of lovely lavender soap. Do you like soap, oh Queen of my heart?'

"Nothing was seen or heard of them for another 48 hours. The hotel personnel did not enter the room, partly because Murray had locked the door, but also because they were afraid - not only of the ape but of her peculiar English friend.

"When a leading correspondent of the _Daily Mail_, William Forrest - who confirmed this story later to one of the authors - finally gained access to the room, he was greeted by a scene of unutterable chaos and squalor. The ape lay in a corner, huddled in a nest of pillows and blankets, coughing horribly. Philip Murray lay in another corner, flushed with a high temperature and obviously very ill.

"The British consul made arrangements for Murray, by this time almost delirious, to be evacuated to a British hospital ship, the Maine, lying off the coast at Alicante. But before this could take place, during his last moments of semi-lucidity, Murray - ever romantic - was able to despatch three cables to London - addressed to the three most eligible Society beauties, proposing marriage to each of them.

"Murray died in the ambulance before reaching Alicante. The next morning - Delmer records - three telegrams arrived for Murray at the Victoria Hotel. They were from the girls to whom he had proposed. Two accepted him.

"Delmer adds the foot note that a British doctor remarked afterwards that he had never seen a case of pneumonia like it, since this was a strain known only among apes, and he could not understand how a human had contracted it. Delmer and his colleagues kept faith with their dead companion and said nothing."

(_The Dictionary of Disgusting Ideas_ Alan Williams & Maggie Noach, 1986)

Impeccable journalistic sources... ;)

Rachel

... ..- -... .-.. .. -- .. -. .- .-.. -- . ... ... .- --. .

(spam-protected) London, British Isles

"How come if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you a paint job's still wet you have to touch it to make sure?"

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The Evil Gerald strikes again, with Mystery Arab warns commuter of possible attack:

We both got off the train at Shankill, and he took me aside in a mysterious fashion. Then he told me in a very hushed voice, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but you've been so kind to me. I've had this briefcase for three years and I've never been able to open it. The sandwiches my wife made for me in 1998 have gone off, but that's not the point. I'm going to give you a warning, but you must promise to not tell anyone unless you don't want them to die, in which case it's fine, I'll understand that. Listen: Don't eat so many fatty foods. You'll clog up your arteries and run a greater risk of suffering a fatal heart attack later in life. It's only common sense."

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Forgotten History - Badshah Khan:

Pashtun warriors so impressed the British, including Indian born Rudyard Kipling, that in 1847 they created a separate Pashtun force, the Corps of Guides. But what is little known is that they also created one of the world's great pacifist movements of the 20th century. Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan who was born in 1890 and died in 1988 led it. His life is heroic. He spent more than 25 years in British Indian and Pakistani jails.

Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2001 13:37:04 -0500
From: STEPHEN JONES (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected) (spam-protected)
Subject: Forgotten History - Badshah Khan

Forgotten History - Tuesday, December 11, 2001
"Little known facts and overlooked history"

Badshah Khan

By Denis Mueller

Pashtun warriors so impressed the British, including Indian born Rudyard Kipling, that in 1847 they created a separate Pashtun force, the Corps of Guides. But what is little known is that they also created one of the world's great pacifist movements of the 20th century. Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan who was born in 1890 and died in 1988 led it. His life is heroic. He spent more than 25 years in British Indian and Pakistani jails.

Khan practiced non-violence as a way of life. "There is no- thing surprising in a Muslim or a Pathan like me subscribing to the creed of non-violence." He was an ally of Gandhi and once persuaded 100,000 of his countrymen to lay down their arms and vow to fight nonviolently. His profound belief in non-violence came from the depths of his experience and his belief that these principles lay at the heart of Islam.

Khan and Gandhi worked hand in hand using the tactic of non- violence to free their land from British oppression. Khan opened schools and brought women out of their homes to become a part of society. For over two decades Khan and his followers dominated the Northwest Frontier without resorting to violence as a means for independence.

He was a valued Muslim ally of Gandhi who sought a non-secular India. In 1947, political backfighting between Hindu's and Muslim's split India in half. Khan opposed this and asked his followers to boycott a referendum on their separation. Muslim politicians derided Khan and called him a lackey of the Hindus. This caused Khan to be arrested by Islamabad's new masters.

When Khan called for local autonomy within Pakistan he was rejected. At this time Afghanistan warlords saw this as an opportunity to extend their influence. Khan was jailed and defeated. He was eventually released but banished from the area. But his non-violent message was lost and the whole world of Islam is poorer for it.

When he died in 1988 at the age of 98, the funeral procession stretched for miles and miles. It was called a "craven of peace, carrying the message of love." This forgotten chapter of history suggests that Islam is more complex than its radical supporters and western detractors are willing to say.

Khan said, "the Holy Prophet Muhammad came into this world and taught us, 'That man is a Muslim who never hurts anyone by word or deed, but who works for the benefit and happiness of God's creatures." Belief in God is to love one's fellow men." At the end of his life he left these words. "No true effort is in vain. Look at the fields over there. The grain sown therein has to remain in the earth for a certain time, then it sprouts, and in due time yields hundreds of its kind. The same is the case with every effort in a good cause.''

Sources: Karl E. Meyer, The Great Game and the Race for
Empire in Central Asia. (http://www.shagmail.com/sub/history.html)

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Adequacy.org: Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?:

Is your son obsessed with Lunix?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

Adequacy.org is pretty funny... but they really need to sort out some kind of comment voting system. They have some seriously humor-deficient readers.

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Live(ish)! New (unarguably)! Updated, er, whenever the laptop's plugged in and online, and at most once an hour!! Presenting... jmcam!

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Yahoo:

With a defiant cry of "right on motherfuckers", pop superstar Madonna has presented one of the world's most famous art prizes to conceptual artist Martin Creed for his controversial creation of a bare room with a light that switches on and off.

Riight. If there was ever any doubt, I reckon it's now clear that the Turner Prize is all about getting column inches instead of actually awarding new, interesting art.

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brrr. The weather here in Melbourne is pretty much exactly what the weather in Ireland would be -- ie. cold:

Sure this was the second day of summer, but instead of worrying about bush fires, I decided to get the home fires burning again.

After all, it was a shivery 14 degrees - the average maximum of a day in June, not December.

I know that Melbourne's weather is meant to be changeable, but could we be kidding ourselves when we say that December is summer?

Last December, when the average maximum was an unusually warm 26.2 degrees, there were no fewer than eight 30-degree days, while January turned out to be one of the hottest months ever experienced in Melbourne with 14 occurrences of above 30 degrees.

You have to go back to 1879 to find a December when the thermometer waited until the middle of the month before cracking 30 degrees.

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Crime writer 'solves' Jack the Ripper mystery. Patricia Cornwell, a popular crime writer, reckons the impressionist painter Walter Richard Sickert did it -- and (ludicrously) ripped up one of his paintings looking for clues.

Date: Fri, 07 Dec 2001 10:40:42 -0000
From: "rpjs2217" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Crime writer 'solves' Jack the Ripper mystery

Ananova http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_467675.html?menu=news.latestheadlines

Crime writer 'solves' Jack the Ripper mystery

A US crime novelist is claiming she has solved the mystery of Jack the Ripper and named him as an artist who painted images of a murdered prostitute.

Patricia Cornwell spent almost £3 million on her hunt for the true identity of the Victorian serial killer.

She now says she believes the Ripper was really Walter Richard Sickert, an important Impressionist artist who painted the series of gruesome pictures 20 years later.

She told American TV's Primetime: "I do believe 100% that Walter Richard Sickert committed those serial crimes, that he is the Whitechapel murderer."

Cornwell, 45, spent part of the fortune her best-selling crime novels have earned her on her hunt, buying Sickert's paintings, then using them in the hunt for clues.

She even flew a team of American forensic experts to London to examine the notorious Ripper letters for DNA, and bought 30 of the artist's works, ripping one of them up completely in her hunt for clues.

Sickert, who was born in 1860, was an apprentice to Whistler and worked with Degas and is regarded as a key link between British art and the growth of Impressionism.

But Cornwell claims he led a secret double life as a serial killer - and the five prostitutes named as Jack the Ripper's victims were not the only women he killed.

They were horribly mutilated and all but Kelly were murdered on the street but their killer - who taunted police in letters signed "Jack the Ripper" - was never found, prompting one of history's greatest murder mysteries.

Cornwell said she had been led to Sickert by a series of clues and her knowledge of forensic science and the mind of serial killers. Sickert was 28 when the killings started, an age Cornwell said was typical for serial killers to start their sprees between the age of 25 and 30.

Story filed: 10:08 Friday 7th December 2001

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Pentagon: US military forces have in their control a ... US citizen:

All along, Americans have known there were Taliban sympathisers and supporters in their midst: the FBI has been focusing on little else for the past three months. However, it expected they would be of Arab descent, part of the huge wave of immigration from Lebanon, Yemen and Palestine of the past 20 years, living in one of the big, ambivalent Islamic communities, perhaps round Detroit or New York.

No one bargained on a 20-year-old white kid with a Swedish name, Irish descent, a strict Catholic father and a Buddhist mother.

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Farting Shatner's PR genius:

A rumour of William Shatner farting during an interview pushed sales of a Star Trek video beyond the final frontier. Mark Borkowski applauds stroke of PR genius ...

The source of the story was the video company's publicist, who applied a nifty bit of creativity to one of the most intractable problems in entertainment PR. ... Getting coverage for a video release is well nigh impossible because the stars have already done the circuit and everything's already been said.

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Slightly stale bits, but funny nonetheless:

Sevilla midfielder Francisco Gallardo has been charged by the Spanish soccer federation for an unusual goal celebration. Gallardo bit teammate Jose Antonio Reyes' penis after he had scored in the 4-0 win over Valladolid. Reyes was besieged by ecstatic teammates after scoring and Gallardo was seen to bend down and nibble at the goalscorer's genitalia.

He could face a fine or suspension for his actions, which may deemed to be an infringement of what is described in the federation's rulebook as "sporting dignity and decorum". "I felt a bit of a pinch but I didn't realise what Gallardo had done until I saw the video. "The worst thing about it is the teasing I'm going to get from my teammates,'' Reyes said.'

via Reuters.

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Club patron sues 'reckless' stripper:

Bonnett was in the New Westminster club on Nov. 29, 2000 when a female dancer swung around a pole and kicked him, fracturing his nose, according to the lawsuit filed on Tuesday in British Columbia Supreme Court.

Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2001 12:23:14 -0000
From: (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Over enthusiastic stripper causes head injury

Club Patron Sues 'Reckless' Stripper

Reuters

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Nov. 29) - A Canadian man has sued a Vancouver-area strip club, claiming he was injured by a "reckless" exotic dancer who kicked him in the head.

Greg Bonnett is seeking unspecified damages from the Barnet Motor Inn, claiming it was negligent in not posting prominent signs warning the public of the risk of sitting too close to the stage.

Bonnett was in the New Westminster club on Nov. 29, 2000 when a female dancer swung around a pole and kicked him, fracturing his nose, according to the lawsuit filed on Tuesday in British Columbia Supreme Court.

The Coquitlam man's lawsuit also seeks damages from the dancer, identified only as "Jane Doe," for allegedly "dancing in a negligent and reckless manner."

Reuters 10:51 11-29-01

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Another classic piece of Pravda translation. "ENDEAVOUR TO DELIVER 6,000 US FLAGS TO THE SPACE", it seems, which will be handed over to "people who took part in de-mounting of hips on the spot of the tragedy." Did that really just say "de-mounting of hips"?

Seriously though, I love Pravda's english articles; it's not just the iffy translation; sometimes you get some beautiful Russian turns of phrase thrown in -- then mangled through the translation. ;)

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Wow. A truly neat, cross-platform, text entry widget in HTML that updates as you edit. Check it out (quick though -- it's a FilePile URL).

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MEMORANDUM

From: Bin Laden, Osama

Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM

To: Cavemates

Subject: The Cave

The CIA has just released this memo intercepted from Osama bin Laden:

MEMORANDUM From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious.

However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote
"Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Love you lots. Osama

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A salutary tale of getting ripped off writing games. Nightmare.

None of which has happened. Why? Because: For half a year now Bethesda has been delaying the 150000USD, which they ARE TO pay according to the contract, and moreover, it even refuse to give us the reason why. We have not been paid even for the beta.

But still, from some source we know that by now Bethesda has sold about 50000 boxes of Echelon in North America, which means that Bethesda has already made over a million on the game.

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http://www.uncontrol.com/ -- a flash applet which provides a good collection of nature-imitating mathematical eye candy. Number 16 is beautiful.

I used to write graphics demos on the C-64, which used a lot of this kind of stuff (although a hell of a lot simpler for obvious reasons). It occurs to me that Flash makes writing demos a lot easier; it provides a decent language (scripting as opposed to 6502 assembly), it gives you a good set of drawing tools (anti-aliasing, alpha blending, and 24-bit colour), the hardware no longer limits what you can do in 2-D graphics, and you can even buy software which takes care of the text effects like zooms, scrolling, bouncing etc. In other words, all the cool tricks are done for you ;)

I wonder what demo writers are doing nowadays, as a result? One side seems to be what these guys have done -- actually go for really interesting, good-looking effects, rather than just the "how did they do that" factor. I would imagine the other side of the demo "bleeding edge" is doing a hell of a lot of 3-D stuff. (By hand. In assembler. ;)

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A great idea for a blog -- "who would buy that?" -- featuring auction oddities from all over the web. There's some absolutely horrific tat to be found out there...

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When Leonids attack!

Just as Laura walked toward the house to get her husband, Tom, a chunk of rock fell from the sky, slamming down to her left near where she had been standing just moments before.

via the forteana list.

Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 10:24:43 -0000
From: Scott Wood (spam-protected)
To: Forteana (spam-protected) Fort Research List (spam-protected)
Subject: When Leonid's Attack!

A memento from the sky

Family nearly hit by possible meteorite from Leonid display

BY LU ANN FRANKLIN Times Correspondent

Posted Tuesday, November 20, 2001

http://www.thetimesonline.com/index.pl/article?id=1192720

HIGHLAND -- When Laura Yuran and her 11-year-old son, Jonathon, awoke at 4 a.m. Sunday to watch the Leonid meteor shower outside the family's home in Highland, they never expected to be a target for space debris.

About a half hour into their sky gazing mother and son began hearing something that sounded like hail falling. A short time later, those hail-like objects started pelting the pair. Just as Laura walked toward the house to get her husband, Tom, a chunk of rock fell from the sky, slamming down to her left near where she had been standing just moments before.

"It went, 'Boom!' and I screamed," Laura recalled. "Part of it hit the driveway and the second part was embedded in the ground. I was afraid to touch it."

Laura's scream brought Tom outside. Locating the rocks with a flashlight, he picked them up, finding them cold to the touch. He had to pull the smaller stone out of the lawn.

"It's beautiful," Laura said of the family's newest treasure.

Jim Seevers, an astronomer from Chicago's Adler Planetarium, said the rocks are most likely meterorites from the Leonid meteor shower. The rust color is "the fusion crust," he said, which is typical of a meteorite that has been seared by the earth's atmosphere.

"The rock probably chipped off and the shiny, silver they see is the inside," Seevers said. "It's most likely iron and nickel."

Although Tom Yuran was concerned that the rocks might be radioactive, Seever said they are basically rocks mixed with metal, such as bits of iron. The rarest of all meteorites are composed of carbon, another common element in the universe, and "look like a hunk of charcoal," Seevers said.

The astronomer said meterorites are slowed down by the earth's atmosphere much like a parachute slows down a skydiver. At 60 miles up in the atmosphere, the rock then begins a fall to earth. Its size and the speed it is traveling will determine how hard it hits and if it will become embedded in the Earth.

"If it had hit me, I could have been killed," Laura Yuran said. "We hid under the awning on our porch because we were afraid of more rocks falling down."

Seevers recommended that the Yurans allow the geology staff at Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History to analyze the rock.

"We don't have a lab here at the Adler Planetarium," he said. "The staff at the museum's meteorite lab will be able to tell them the rock's composition."

On Monday afternoon, the Yurans contacted Dr. Menache Wadhwa, the curator of the Field Museum's meteorite collection, for an opinion.

"She wants us to bring her a small piece of it on Wednesday morning. She said we're the only ones anywhere who have reported falling meteorites from the Leonid meteor shower," Tom said.

In fact, after talking with Wadhwa, Jonathon began searching for more pieces of the meteorite. He quickly located two more small rocks that weigh about one ounce each.

Laura said until the rocks are analyzed, she's trying to play hostess to the excited neighborhood children whom Jonathon has invited over to see the space debris. Eventually she hopes to put the objects in a display case and give it to her son who collects rocks.

The next time the Yuran family could gather to view the Leonid meteor shower is in 2034. That's when the comet Temple-Tuttle, which causes the Leonid display, will pass by Earth again.

"We really enjoyed watching it, with the blue lights and long tails," Laura said. "If it wasn't for Jonathon setting his alarm and waking us up, we wouldn't have seen it."

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Nancy Banks-Smith on an ill-conceived method of reviewing, during her career as the Guardian's TV critic:

Later, we all went to the BBC's TV centre or various ITV offices, running after each other across town like a row of ducks. Then, programmes were shown in central viewing theatres such as at Bafta. This had the disadvantage that the actors were apt to show up, too, applauding their own performance. It was not a relaxed mix. It was at Bafta that Barbara Woodhouse snapped "Put that out at once!" with such dominance that the critic beside me swallowed her cigarette and had to be extinguished with water.

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The winner of the Second Annual SatireWire Spam Slam, courtesy of Kelley on FoRK:

ELECTRIGEL CREME

Brazen Teen Bitches, Take a serious look at your life. And allow me to introduce a powerful new substance from the Electri-Cellular Industry. Electrigel Creme

I wouldn't have believed it myself, But now there is a better way. There is no catch. I have to get this off my chest before I explode!!!

Electrigel Creme

It's true you can earn $50,000 in the next 90 days

You really can find out ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE! A university diploma is waiting for you! But no product is more effective than, Electrigel Creme

What does it do? That's right. It really really does.

And that, my friend, is the bargain of a lifetime.

I am faxing a check

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BillG recently claimed to have invented Open Source. As part of a discussion of this, his original open letter to computer hobbyists was uncovered. Makes interesting reading, in retrospect.

An Open Letter to Hobbyists

February 3, 1976

By William Henry Gates III

To me, the most critical thing in the hobby market right now is the lack of good software courses, books and software itself. With- out good software and an owner who understands programming, a hobby computer is wasted. Will quality software be written for the hobby market?

Almost a year ago, Paul Allen and myself, expecting the hobby mar- ket to expand, hired Monte Davidoff and developed Altair BASIC. Though the initial work took only two months, the three of us have spent most of the last year documenting, improving and adding features to BASIC. Now we have 4K, 8K, EXTENDED, ROM and DISK BASIC. The value of the computer time we have used exceeds $40,000.

The feedback we have gotten from the hundreds of people who say they are using BASIC has all been positive. Two surprising things are apparent, however, 1) Most of these "users" never bought BASIC (less than 10% of all Altair owners have bought BASIC), and 2) The amount of royalties we have received from sales to hobbyists makes the time spent on Altair BASIC worth less than $2 an hour. Why is this? As the majority of hobbyists must be aware, most of you steal your software. Hardware must be paid for, but software is something to share. Who cares if the people who worked on it get paid?

Is this fair? One thing you don't do by stealing software is get back at MITS for some problem you may have had. MITS doesn't make money selling software. The royalty paid to us, the manual, the tape and the overhead make it a break-even operation. One thing you do do is prevent good software from being written. Who can afford to do professional work for nothing? What hobbyist can put 3-man years into programming, finding all bugs, documenting his product and distribute for free? The fact is, no one besides us has invested a lot of money in hobby software. We have written 6800 BASIC, and are writing 8080 APL and 6800 APL, but there is very little incentive to make this software available to hobbyists. Most directly, the thing you do is theft.

What about the guys who re-sell Altair BASIC, aren't they making money on hobby software? Yes, but those who have been reported to us may lose in the end. They are the ones who give hobbyists a bad name, and should be kicked out of any club meeting they show up at.

I would appreciate letters from any one who wants to pay up, or has a suggestion or comment. Just write to me at 1180 Alvarado SE, #114, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87108. Nothing would please me more than being able to hire ten programmers and deluge the hobby market with good software.

Bill Gates

General Partner, Micro-Soft

(Gates, 1976)

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I've just added weblogs.com support to taint.org. Been meaning to do it for a while, but plenty of other stuff got in the way in the meantime. :(

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"Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close...The doors reopen. "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again. Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you."

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Due to a set of advocacy and plain show-off mails recently, regarding sub-pixel font rendering under Linux, my hand has been forced ;)

As a result, here's a little HOWTO document I've written up for getting sub-pixel rendering working under Linux. Check it out if you've got a Linux laptop and want some sweet-looking fonts!

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What's hot in Kabul today? Apparently, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai = hot, Fakhir Mohammed = not. Can't say I blame them.

Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2001 13:51:13 -0000
From: "Martin Adamson" (spam-protected)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: Afghan music latest: Last chance to buy Osama praise songs

Evening Standard - 14 November 2001

In his music shop Mohamed Salim is quite literally erasing the Taliban from Kabul - taping new music over the cassettes of religious chanting which the former regime forced him to sell.

Today's victim is former Taliban Top Ten chanter Fakhir Mohammed, whose monotonous warbles were a firm favourite until the regime fled on Monday. Now a tape of his chants is being dubbed over with the soundtrack from an Indian film.

Getting to the front counter in Salim's shop means fighting your way past dozens of young men, all eager for tapes. For the moment he has run out, producing new ones only as fast as his tape-to-tape machine can dub over the Taliban cassettes. "This is the best business in five years," he says. "We're very happy just to hear music again." Outside, Salim's music merges with the cacophony of tunes - Indian and Western

  • being pumped into the street at maximum volume.

Until Monday night, when the Taliban fled, Farashgar was a grim place to visit: those shops which bothered to put music onto their speaker systems had only repetitive chants to offer. Business was bad, and also uncertain. "If a Talib came to the shop, he would say 'give me one cassette, I will pay you after'," said Salim, 22. "But maybe the money would never come. What could you do?" What they did was sell underground music: many of the tape boxes on Salim's shelves held a secret.

He shows me why. On the labels of some cassette boxes are the names of various Taliban chanters. But he opens the box to reveal, scrawled over the tape, an Indian singer. "We would sell this way, to people we know. The hard thing was remembering which singer was in which cassette box." The other hard thing were the men from the notorious Ministry for Vice and Virtue. These so called "religious police" were the Taliban's gestapo, and the shopkeepers of Farashgar were a favourite target. "I was in jail four times. For one month, for one week, the last for 18 days," says Salim.

In the next-door shop to Salim's, his friend Mohamed Talut Taheri says: "Sometimes they could come to raid, they would open all the
cassette boxes, then you were caught. The other way was that someone would be arrested for something. They would search him and find a cassette. If he told them where he got it, you were in jail."

Now the problem is supply. With the overland route to Pakistan cut, there are no more CDs and only dubbed tapes on offer to a public clamourous for music. This means prices have shot up: A tape from Salim's shop that was £1.80 when you risked jail to buy it is now £2.80. But nothing drives away the customers. "We love to hear music. Indian, Western, it doesn't matter," says Salim. "It's just so nice that music is back."

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Cory Doctorow at Boing Boing is on fire today. I was tempted to forward on an entry or two, but by the time I got to the end of today's updates, I think the only thing a reader can do is just go there and read 'em: Quake players on drugs, Dance Dance Resurrection, and EMI uploading their own music to Gnutella...

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Hamlet vs. ISDN:

Technician 1: My name be John. What problem do you have?

Hamlet: A heart so full of woe to shame the gods.

My father dead. My mother newly wed

To mine own uncle who hath stole my crown.

But worst of all, like demon born of Hell,

Connection's lost; I hath no ISDN.

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One to buy; a collection of J.G. Ballard's short stories. I'm a big Ballard fan, so I'll be keeping an eye out. Great review too:

The drowned worlds, scorched cities and overgrown jungles of his early fiction; his concentration on the new media landscape of celebrity and stylised catastrophe; his exploration of the connections between sex, eroticism and death; his fetishism of motorways, cars, technology and high-rise buildings - Ballard wrote about the twentieth century in its own idiom, at a time when most other literary writers were no more than grappling with the same old tired clichés of the English class system.

Date: Sun, 04 Nov 2001 11:29:27 -0000
From: "Tim Chapman" (spam-protected)
To: forteana (spam-protected)
Subject: Complete Stories - Observer review

http://www.observer.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,587030,00.html

The Ballard of Shanghai jail

The poetry of disaster gleams among the anti-utopian's collected short stories in JG Ballard's The Complete Stories

Jason Cowley Sunday November 4, 2001 The Observer

The Complete Stories

JG Ballard

Flamingo £25, pp1,189

When I worked at the Times, a couple of years ago, a shout used to echo through the newsroom at moments of great national trauma, the death of Princess Diana, say, or a terrorist outrage - 'Call JG Ballard'. Strangely, at such moments, JG Ballard seldom seemed to be at home or was, at least, sensibly not answering the phone.

Yet the news editor, for all his harassed panic, was right to think that Ballard might have something to contribute at a time of crisis, because no other contemporary British writer possesses his prescience and perspicacity, his instinct for catastrophe. No other writer foresaw, in quite the same way, how televised images of fame and death were to become all-powerful in our culture.

Reading this book of collected stories, spanning more than 1,000 pages and 40 years, is a peculiarly enriching experience. Every sentence Ballard writes is absolutely characteristic. Ever since he began publishing stories in the mid-1950s, in low-circulation science-fiction magazines such as New Worlds and Science Fantasy, he sought to find new ways of writing about our emerging consumer society, not as other sci-fi writers did through speculating about space travel or the far future, but through constructing his own cool, detached psychopathology of post-industrial society.

The drowned worlds, scorched cities and overgrown jungles of his early fiction; his concentration on the new media landscape of celebrity and stylised catastrophe; his exploration of the connections between sex, eroticism and death; his fetishism of motorways, cars, technology and high-rise buildings - Ballard wrote about the twentieth century in its own idiom, at a time when most other literary writers were no more than grappling with the same old tired clichés of the English class system.

Those who complain that he repeatedly writes the same book, that he cannot do character or convincingly animate women, misunderstand a writer who is less a formal storyteller than a prose surrealist. The motifs in his work are abandoned airfields, drained swimming pools, crashed cars, flooded lagoons, overlit motorways. His male heroes - doctors, pilots, architects, engineers - are emblematic last men, moving uneasily though flimsy, disintegrating worlds (in their impassive striving they recall the sad urban dreamscapes of Edward Hopper).

Through his interest in medicine, science and psychoanalysis, Ballard understands how powerfully we are driven by irrational and unconscious forces, that we are often no more than mysteries to ourselves.

In 'Motel Architecture' a man called Pangborn retreats from the world, spending his days alone in a solarium, amusing himself by endlessly replaying the shower sequence from Psycho on a bank of television screens (this story was written in 1978, before the age of video and digitised surveillance cameras). One day, he discovers there is an intruder in the solarium, eating his food and sharing his private space. Sometimes he catches glimpses of the intruder, his spectral presence and shifting shadows. Then a cleaning woman is found murdered in the solarium, lying in the 'familiar postures he had analysed in a thousand blow-ups'. Pangborn is terrified until, in a moment of blazing self-revelation, he realises he has always been alone in the solarium, that he is his own intruder, a stranger to himself and perhaps now a murderer, too.

'I've always thought that life was a kind of disaster area,' says Ransome, the narrator of his third novel, The Drought. In Ballard's fiction society is always close to or actually breaking down, and civility is threatened with extinction.

In many stories, he constructs closed, artificial communities - a tropical island paradise, an internment camp, a luxury high-rise apartment block, a hi-tech business park, a seaside leisure resort - then watches as they collapse under the strain of their own internal contradictions. 'Is this the promised end?' asks Kent in King Lear. 'Or,' replies Edgar, 'image of that horror?'

Through reading Ballard, we have lived vicariously with a sense of an ending, simultaneously embracing what we most fear and perhaps most desire - the ruin of cities, the collapse of communities, the wilful embracing of deviance and obscenity.

Many of the stories here can be read as sketches for the later novels they became. 'Dead Time', in particular, is a template for Empire of the Sun (1984), the marvellous autobiographical novel which liberated Ballard from the cult of avant garde celebration and carried him to an international audience.

As a detainee, between the ages of 12 and 15, in the Lunghua prison camp in Shanghai, Ballard watched as Chinese soldiers were decapitated, as the streets of Shanghai were bombed by low-flying aircraft and as his fellow internees were harassed and brutalised. In Empire he writes of returning to the International Settlement where his parents lived in colonial seclusion to find the houses inexplicably deserted, and of watching the distant glow of the atom bomb explosion in Hiroshima, 'that spectral mushroom cloud'.

In 'Dead Time', the young narrator, liberated from an internment camp, hides for hours under a pile of corpses to avoid detection from the Japanese, and later journeys across a ravaged landscape in search of his missing parents, a search that Ballard enacts again and again in his fiction, as if seeking to return to that Edenic first moment, the world of tranquillity that was destroyed the day the Japanese arrived in Shanghai and took him away from home.

If Ballard is an anti-utopian writer, a pessimist of human nature, it is because by the time he returned to England, as a young adult after the war, he had seen and experienced the worst of the world and of man's potential for depravity. He was without hope or illusion, his imagination forever after to be shadowed by the ruined towns, abandoned aircraft, crashed cars and arbitrary disappearances and injustices of his childhood. And so, as the political philosopher John Gray has written, Ballard's fictional achievement is to have communicated a vision of what fulfilment might mean in a time of nihilism. And who would argue that ours is not a time of nihilism and that Ballard is not the ideal chronicler of our disturbed modernity?

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a classic tale of in-flight mass hysteria, courtesy of 0xdeadbeef. Read on...

Date: Thu, 01 Nov 2001 09:51:06 -0800
From: (spam-protected) (glen mccready)
To: (spam-protected)
Subject: QANTAS Flight 203 and the Breadroll of Doom

Forwarded-by: Nev Dull (spam-protected)
Forwarded-by: Randy Cassingham (spam-protected)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= QANTAS Flight 203 and the Breadroll of Doom

Just thought I'd fill you guys in on my rather eventful day today.

The day started off ok -- flew from Melbourne to Brisbane with no major dramas at all. The only problem was that three of the five screaming little whipper snappers I had earlier noticed in the gate lounge at Melbourne had been allocated the row of seats behind mine. In hindsight, I probably should have taken a little more notice of this obviously bad omen....

Anyway, apart from the screaming, crying and the regular "sinking of the slipper" into the back of my seat with clocklike monotony, it really was not all that bad. Landed in beautiful Brissy and had a dream connection to my Mackay flight. The kids left the flight, the plane left on time, wow, this is going to be a good day.

Once we were on our way, the hosties decided to surprise us with some unbelievably ordinary food -- no, not just the normal servings of ordinariness, this time they had gone to some extra effort. There was the standard cheese and crackers, the piece of fruit 'n' nut chocolate, and then the centre piece, a delightfully soggy bread roll with an internal smearing of curried egg and capsicum. Nothing else, just curried egg and capsicum. Mmmm Mmmm! Hot Tip: These rolls are best served when made a few weeks before hand so the curried egg can thoroughly soak through the bread.

Now, in these turbulent times, and following the 17 suspected cases of Anthrax poisoning reported yesterday, you would think Qantas would be rather careful about what they are serving on their planes. Nope. The aforementioned culinary delight that was the soggy bread roll was not a plain roll, nor did it have those sesame seed thingys stuck to its top, oh no, lets give everyone on the aircraft a bread roll completely laced with flour! Great idea that. How about we put so much flour on it that it will actually fall off in a clump onto your plate so that some paranoid git behind you can start screaming hysterically about anthrax poisoning!! Fantastic.

The hosties step in and calm the situation quite well. They quietly tell her (she actually was sitting right behind me -- in hindsight I'd have rathered those little whipper snappers any day!) that they have taken her meal back and will send it for analysis once we land in Mackay. They took her details and told her she would be contacted with the results. Obviously if it really was anthrax, she would be the only one at risk of inhaling the stuff, what with the sealed aircraft environment and the recirculating air con....

Anyway, nothing more said until we land. It now seems that some ground official has cottoned on to the fact that if one person could be at risk, then, hang on while I do the maths ...um... carry the five... oh yeah!! The whole damned plane is at risk!! Quick shut the doors! Oh, and lets keep that air con running!!

Then the action starts. On my side of the plane I see a fire truck pull up. Then another one. Then what looks like every policeman Mackay has ever trained. Then a water tanker. Ahh, the Hazardous Materials Van is here! That should induce some panic! And what should emerge from the Haz. Van? Why, two blokes in full bio suits of course!! For those that are familiar with the movie "2001", they looked just like "Dave" when suited up to venture outside Voyager in his space pod. For those not familiar with 2001, blokes in yellow plastic suits with a massive, fully enclosed perspex face mask which would fit over the head of a baby elephant. Color coded of course.

Now, what terrifies human beings even more than the fear of death via biological warfare I hear you ask? Why, it's taking a shower in all your good clothes of course!! Oh the horror!!!! Yes the bio suited guys have erected their little shower cubical and have connected up a massive 2" outlet from one of the fire trucks. And, wait, who's here now? Yes it's the local media. They've turned up to film "the cleansing of the roll flour from the passengers". Should make some great viewing, perhaps even a mini series.

Two and a half hours pass while being constantly updated that we "should be able to disembark in the next 15 minutes or so". (Let's just keep that air con. going though, just in case.) The bio suited dudes are so far the only people who have used the shower (after handling the highly toxic roll flour). The guys outside with the camera's are obviously getting bored waiting for us -- they start to pack up their cameras.

Then, out of the blue, Mr Plodd bravely enters our flour infested chamber with some news, and he has with him, a doctor. The doc gets on the PA system and tells us that they have run all the tests that they are capable of in the Mackay hospital, and while they can not be 100% certain, it seems that the substance taken from the plane is, wait for it, an ordinary substance used in the preparation of the flight meals. He had even diagnosed us -- the entire plane. We have a phenomenon known in the medical world as "Excessive Vigilance". Well done champ. Unbelievable. It would have been quicker to scrape all the flour up off everyone's lap and whip up a batch of scones to prove the true identity of the substance!!

This is when in my opinion, the day's highlight occurred. Following such a long period of such intense waiting, there is bound to be an outpouring of emotion... Sighs of relief, cries of laughter, cheering, clapping, and of course, the absolute verbal barrage of abuse for the poor lady sitting behind me who had now sunk so low into her chair that she was now practically wearing her lifejacket. It seems that another particular lady who had now well and truly missed her (spam-protected) flight to the Whitsundays had decided to give our friend a piece of her mind. The awkward silence that followed was priceless.

Anyway, before we all finally got off the plane they took everyone's details in case forensic testing at Brisbane's pathology centre turned anything else up. We got off the plane to a bit of a hero's welcome -- heaps of people, police and media interviews. I didn't quite get to my destination from Mackay in time to see the local news, but apparently we were the headline story. All hail the paranoid chick from row 9.

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(Untitled)

Found on /.: Nuon have released a free-as-in-speech SDK for third-party developers to develop applications which will run on certain models of DVD players. According to 'What Is Nuon?', the Nuon DVD hardware is essentially both a DVD player and an open gaming platform. Incredible! Looks like I know now what kind of DVD player I'll be buying -- the one I can write my own apps for ;)

(Untitled)

Looks like my extensive Laxo and Publin experience will come in handy, if things get tight.

Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2001 15:15:33 -0500
From: "Damien Morton" (spam-protected)
To: "Jason Borum" (spam-protected)
Subject: RE: Programming position?

Dear Jason,

Thanks for your interest in employment at Dennis Interactive. These are indeed tough times, but its always good to hear from someone with as broad and varied experience as yours. Im am particularily impressed with your familiarity with Xwad and Verible. You time at E*pregnate must have been an interesting one.

Whilst we arent currently looking for T and T++ programmers, your experience with PROBOL and XVRT suggests that the transition to our in-house programming language, BABEL, would be a relatively painless one. We will certainly keep you on file for a later date, should we have an opening for someone of your calibre.

Thanks again for your interest.


Damien Morton, Technical Director, Dennis Interactive

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty. Its too big.

-----Original Message----- From: Jason Borum
Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2001 2:24 PM
To: Damien Morton
Subject: Programming position?

Hi there:

I realize that in the current economic climate, jobs are scarce. But I believe I fill a programming niche overlooked by many employers. Please take a look at my attched resume, and let me know if you think I'd be a good match with Dennis Interactive.

Thanks! \jason


Jason Borum (spam-protected)

Goal: A position that will utilize my knowledge of programming languages,
operating systems, software products, and programming methodologies

Description: I have work-experience in a broad range of programming
languages in a number of different industries, and I believe that I have my finger on the pulse of the latest technological developments. I'm an 'out of the box' thinker willing to learn any and all new technolgies. My motto is "whatever it takes to do the job".

Programming Languages: T+, T++, PROBOL, TSP2, TSP3, RSP, XVRT, XEL, XSM, AHP, EVML, NOML, QML, YML, LOGO

Development Tools: EUnit (EX, SX, SI, TI), Verible, SR Promoly, WevCan, WevCan SE, WevCan Pro, EyePopper 2.0, PluTo, Xwad, Spelunker

Databases: DuBase(4,5), NuQL, MyNuQL, XKSBase, WooferBase

Operating Systems: Eunichs, Firewater NT, Publin, Raxin, Laxo (FUI, TNP/TNT)

Experience: 06/1999 - Present E*Pregnate Senior TSP Engineer

-Developed OMP methodology for TSP reporting -Implemented XJIB based server-side reporting utilizing PluTo shell -Created SR Promly reports with UFML Port and XPO -Programmed multi-tier MRAF based on DuBase 4,5 -Engineered blocked WIML procedure with Laxo Connectivity

04/1998-06/1999 PolyAnemic.com RCSC Analyst

-Ported Publin 1.8.x content from legacy Raxin system -Utilized DMP 1.3/1.4 for EDE triggers -Secured KYB connection with ESS (XK, XL) -Analyzed RCSC driver with XLUnit, FoGrois

08/1997-04/1998 Bendix & Formalade IHML Developer

-Developed IHML surface for PROBOL, XSM EEIU system -Designed TNP/TNT FUI for ROP -Made coffee -TSP4 driven DCV System with PIO Connectivity -Created copies of documents using a P&H KX43400 ML Series photocopier

04/1997-08/1997 Orange Julius Customer Service

-Prepared Orange Julius drinks -Prepared and servered hot dogs -Answered phones -Took out trash -Swept and mopped

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