About time I posted this — everyone who’s read ’em agrees vehemently with at least 5 of these; and a quick Google ™ reveals that this list hasn’t ever had a page to itself out there on the interweb. So here it is.
My personal favourites: 6, 8, 15, 20, 33, and best of all, 28…
- 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
- 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
- 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
- 4) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
- 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
- 6) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
- 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
- 8) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
- 9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
- 10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
- 11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
- 12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
- 13) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
- 14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
- 15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
- 16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
- 17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
- 18) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
- 19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
- 20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
- 21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
- 22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
- 23) You never ever run out of salt.
- 24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
- 25) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
- 26) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
- 27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
- 28) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
- 29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
- 30) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
- 31) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
- 32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
- 33) Bricks are horrible to carry.
- 34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.